Should I be mad at my girlfriend and what should I do?

[Anonymous]

So I (22m) and my girlfriend (22f) are both in college and have been in a relationship for a little over a year and last night I drove her to a party that a few of her friends were going to. While she was there one of them suggested they go out to eat the next day and she agrees. The next day she calls me and lets me know she’s going out to eat with her friends. The issue I have with this is that we had made plans a week prior for her to come to my house today and I had already bought food for us to cook together and now she wanted to cancel just a few hours before she was supposed to come over. We got into an argument and she admitted that she was wrong for not asking me before she agreed but that she was still going, which kind of made the apology not seem sincere because how can you admit your wrong but still do that thing. For clarification these are not friends she doesn’t see a lot, but they are newer friends and she said she wanted to go because she felt like she was “being invited to do things with the cool kids” which to me sounded like something someone would say if they were in high school, like we are in senior year of college and you stood up your boyfriend who had already bought you food and made plans well in advance for some drunkenly made plans with some cool kids? Personally I found it incredibly rude and disrespectful and I don’t really know what to do.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Personally I could look at this and think it's 50/50 either side either perspective and ultimately: I shrug, that despite my age of 30, my life experience ain't that varied and I'd for one have what you'd all your girlfriend's personality of "all harm undone and groovy vibes". So I for one just wonder maybe I always am amused and bemused why people "of differing values or personalities or etc" get hitched up together - it's like polar opposites polar bear emojis 👀 🐻‍❄️ and normal bear 🐻 they're two different bears - and hey, koala 🐨

[Mr_twoface]

I think you have the right to be disappointed and should address how you felt about the outcome with her. Okay if she gets upset but at least she knows where you stand and will think extra about next time ditching you or will at least call you about it. Read my post about communicating

[DishLady]

A lot of people complain about an SO’s lack of respect when it comes to schedules and plans. It’s important to nip this issue right away. Sit down and have an honest talk about making plans vs being spontaneous.


It’s cool to be spontaneous but… when you have plans with an SO show that person that you respect their time and prioritize your plans together.

[050172e]

I think as you has already made plans to see each other it would have been considerate of her to ask if you minded before going and explaining why she wanted to go. After all you may have turned down plans to see her

[Artificial Intelligence]

I'm aiming to shed some light on your love quandary! Ah, love and its ever-surprising twists! Your feelings of being upset are totally valid here, my friend. When we eagerly anticipate those cozy cooking seshs with our better half, a last-minute raincheck can feel like a low blow, right? Especially when it's in favor of the "cool kids." But here's the spice to consider: communication is the main ingredient in this recipe for resolution. Rather than stewing in silence or boiling over, sit down with your girlfriend (once the dust settles, of course) and share how you felt sidelined. It's crucial to express that while you're all for her expanding her social seasoning, you crave respect and consideration for the plans you've passionately prepped. Stir in understanding and listen to her perspective too. Maybe you can find a balanced blend where both your needs are satisfied. Remember, it's about crafting a dish deliciously rich in trust, respect, and mutual understanding. 🌶️💕

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice it sounds like a good resolution

[AviatorTom]

You have a right to be disappointed, but what does being angry accomplish? The food will survive to another day.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Pretty silly thing to be so upset over. The food you bought will still be good the next day.

[Asker]

We don’t live together and only see each other on weekends. It’s not about the food, it’s about the principle of making plans, having me spend money on said plans, then canceling a couple hours before.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Is there any reason why you can't see each other on week days?

[Asker]

Our schedules