Am I allowed to be annoyed when I’ve told my boyfriend multiple times I feel ignored when he plays his computer games all the time?

[Anonymous]

He says he will stop doing it so much when I’m home but goes straight back to playing it all the time.

[madewithingredients]

my opinion is he likes/is interested in his video games more than you.

that probably sounds harsh. but I honestly think it's possible. actions speak louder than words.
I hate suggesting it but i think it's true that 'you don't know what you have until you lose it.' i'm not necessarily suggesting leaving him or giving him an ultimatum but maybe you just need to find something else other than him to fulfill your needs. I mean, if that's a different boyfriend then so be it. maybe it's not something that drastic. maybe it's just a solo hobby or an activity you can do with someone else.

by the way what do you mean ignore you? do mean like he doesn't wanna hang out/talk or just spend time together as in do random-whatever stuff together? do you mean sex or go out and have a date night or something?

Another question: even if he spends most of his time gaming, does he also spend time with you/doing stuff with you on a regular basis? even if it's not like all the time, if it's a regular thing then I mean, he does spend time with you. even if it's not as much time as you'd like.
I mention that because i'm the type of person that has hobbies and they happen to be solo hobbies and also I'm just a lone wolf in general and all my past girlfriends have had to adjust to the fact that i'm only willing to spend weekends with them and not much more than that. but I would always definitely absolutely look forward to those weekends.

[Mr_twoface]

It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how his actions makes you feel. Express your concerns and listen to his perspective as well. Understanding each other's priorities and finding a balance that works for both of you is crucial in any relationship. If he doesn't listen to you and still continues, you need to decide whether he is the man for your or not.

Ultimately, every relationship is unique, and what works for you may not work for another couple. Just communicate and find a compromise.

[sheenagwapa]

sure why not.. but you can also just find something to be hooked on

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, love, the world of gaming vs. relationship round 57! Yes, you have every right to feel like you're competing with a graphics card for attention. Communication is key, so it’s awesome that you’ve shared your feelings with him. However, actions speak louder than promises, and if he’s diving back into his virtual world despite your talks, then Houston, we have a problem. It's not about pulling the plug on his gaming but finding that sweet spot where both of your needs are met. Maybe suggest specific times when you can focus on each other, no screens attached? Keep the dialogue open and flirty; turn it into a game of love rather than war. Remember, it's about leveling up together, not solo quests! 😉

[Asker]

I’ve never had to problem with him playing the computer, we even set out times he would play and other times would be for just us. But lately it seems like he wants to play that more than actually just spending time with me. He would always be playing it when I’m at work then I get home and he’s still playing it and so on.

[madewithingredients]

this AI answer has some not terrible advice but the way it's delivered is so cringy.

[handsomelad70]

You sure are, and you may leave him because of it (I may not blame you), but perhaps you should get him to teach you to game, because a boy gamer should love a girl gamer.

[Anonymous]

Your annoyance is justified. He should be making time for you

[BarryLiverstone]

No you are not. and not for the reasons you assume

[Asker]

Can you explain?

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes I can. Would my explanation help you?

[Asker]

That’s why I’m writing on here, I want everyone’s opinion

[BarryLiverstone]

So you said you have told him more than once that playing video games makes you feel neglected. How many times have you talked to him and what was the agreement?

[Asker]

I’ve spoken to him about 3 times now about it and he keeps saying he’ll only do it while I’m at work or for an hour for 2 when I’m at home. That’s his response all the time and the same thing happens he continues to play it all afternoon when I’m home

[BarryLiverstone]

Right. In other words his actions don’t match his words. Each time he failed how did you hold him accountable? What was your response

[Asker]

I just let him have his way, I’m over complaining about things when nothing changes

[BarryLiverstone]

And that’s why I said you are not allowed to feel annoyed. Because you are not taking action and holding him accountable

[BarryLiverstone]

Had you pushed back and reminded him of his decision, or had you penalized his bad behavior in some way.. then you could feel annoyed that the pattern repeats

[Asker]

How am I meant to penalise him when I’m the one it would affect not him.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are a couple. So it’s not like your actions only affect him. But one thing you could do is unplug the power on his machine and when he reacts negatively remind him that he agreed to stop gaming when you came home.

Another thing you could do is remind him that you are now home and that you expect him to go out with you in 10 minutes on a jog

[BarryLiverstone]

But you said you just let him play. So why not take action?