Why does my ex-husband get so mad when I ask him questions about his relationship with his new girlfriend?

Question

ThaMaskedMarvel · Accepted Answer

Maybe you are making him think of the word Susan & the word relationship. When those 2 words are swimming around in his head at the same time, it makes him mad because you made him mad in his past relationship with you. He's like, "How dare she even have the audacity to ask." To him it's: Susan + Relationship = Anger

Or if you did nothing wrong in the past relationship, he simply feels like you're giving him pity. Like, "Dang, I don't need her to check-up on me. Her asking me stuff will lead to her giving advice so that I don't screw this relationship up too. I wish she would just leave me alone. This is embarrassing."

Or you're seen by him as nosy.

Or you're seen as by him as someone that would use the info to try to sabotage his current relationship.

Or things are bad in his relationship & he doesn't want to tell you, his previous woman. It would seem like he's losing at life; telling something unfortunate about his current relationship to an ex would hurt his pride. If this is the case, you're the last person he'd want to talk to about this.

You know yourself. It's gotta be one of these.

Angelo75 · Accepted Answer

Cuz it's a minefield to talk about.

If he tells u something positive about the new girl, you could potentially ask him "wasn't I good enough at that?"
If he tells you something negative, you could ask him "so why are you putting up with that?" ... or you could just laugh at him.
Or you could end up beating yourself up because the other girl is better than you.

No matter what he answers, it will leave an opening for a headache-conversation.

Apart from that, his new girl might not like that he would be talking to another girl about her.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and speculate that "maybe" you two have kids together.
Now imagine if he were to answer the questions about his new girl and the conversation blows up somehow into an argument. Do you see how that could mess your future communications? And the kids would get caught in the middle.

Bottom line is... if the two of you are on the "ex-" status, it's because the two of you tried and it didn't work out. Just stay within the boundaries of the "ex-" status.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

Why are you asking about his new relationship? Does he ask about yours? If not, that just isn't something he wants to discuss with you. Most likely because you are his ex and might use it against him or see her in a negative way so he doesn't want to talk about it with you.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Oh! ❌ ❌ ❌ Why in the world would you do that? Unless you have kids with the guy and they're minors so you HAVE to know who they're around, your Ex's relationships are none of your concern... at all.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Oh, stepping into the ex-files with a question about the new flame can definitely brew a storm! Your ex-husband might be feeling like you're encroaching on his privacy or maybe he's just not comfortable sharing this part of his life with you. It's like dancing on a thin ice—exciting but risky! Each person has their boundaries, and it seems like you've waltzed right into his no-go zone. It could also be a sign that he's not completely over the hill and valley that was your relationship. Navigating these waters requires the finesse of a ballet dancer, so maybe try keeping the convo more about co-parenting and less about his romantic rendezvous. After all, it's about finding that sweet spot where everyone feels respected, right? Keep it smooth and easy, like a slow dance! 😉

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If you don't have children together, you shouldn't be talking to him at all. He has no obligation to maintain any "friendship" with you and, frankly, trying to remain friends with an ex is stupid.

If you have children together and they are all adults, you still have no reason to talk to him unless there is an urgent matter that REQUIRES communication between you two. Curiosity does not constitute a reason that REQUIRES communication.

If you have children together, they are minors, and your ex's new girlfriend is involved with the children, and that appears to be presenting a problem, THEN you have a reason to talk to him about his girlfriend.

You asked him, he doesn't want to talk about it, and you need to let it drop.

If you think this is something you are ENTITLED to know about, then please explain why you are entitled. Otherwise, you need to focus on your own life and not his.

AviatorTom · Answer

Maybe because he thinks it's his personal space... and none of your business? Why are you even asking him about that? He's your ex, past history. He has moved on, you should too.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because he is your ex , and he doesn’t want you knowing anything about his personal life. He is your ex for a reason

mstbooblover · Answer

Maybe you should wonder why you want to know from your ex-husband about his new girlfriend. Once you're separated or divorced, isn't the idea to go each your own way? I think your ex may feel as if you still want to interfere with his life, not to mention possible grudges against each other.

The answer may of course also depend on the reasons you got separated, and whether you have children together or not. In any case, if circumstances force both of you to see each other regularly, my advice would be to stay discrete about each other's privacy. Just leave each other in peace.

blueonblack22 · Answer

I don’t know how long you were married to him or how you two ended off. Obliviously you are still talking.

But really what is it so important that you know about what’s going on with his girlfriend? Even if you two ended the marriage amicably one or both of you are still going to have conducted feelings given your conflicted history. Talking about new relationships with other people is very dangerous emotional territory. What’s the point?

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

He might have anger issues. If he doesn’t want to talk to you about it, he could just tell you to drop it. He could avoid you altogether if you won’t. No reason to get angry. Unless you’re intentionally pushing his buttons. There again though, i would just ignore you rather than let you disturb my zen.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

1) Why are you two even talking at all?

2) Perhaps he feels his relationship and his new girlfriend is none of your fucking business.

If there is children involved then child care should be as far as your interest and conversation goes in talks with an ex. His relationship should only come up as far as how it may affect your children.

Anonymous · Answer

Because it’s none of your business. He’s an ex for a reason. There’s really no reason to be conversing w him unless you two have children together. I’d get annoyed too if an ex was messaging me or calling to ask me about my current girlfriend. He’s free to do whatever he wants. by the way why did you two breakup?

spartan55 · Answer

Why would you be talking to him about that? He's pissed because he knows you are on a nefarious covert recon mission.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

If you were the one who instigated the divorce, I can answer that one easily!

mb120101 · Answer

unless your kids hang around her that’s his business

JacobJordan · Answer

Why do you care. He moved on accept it and leave the man alone.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Why do you need to know? Let him get on with his life, and get on with yours

Madlc · Answer

I think people summed things up but really why do you care?

KrakenAttackin · Answer

A) It's none of your business. B) He knows whatever information he gives you will be used against him.

Jaz2022 · Answer

because personally it really none of ur bussiness

EmpressAJ · Answer

Why do you care what he is doing with his new spouse?

jahaims · Answer

It's none of your business. Why wouldn't he be annoyed?

Red_Arrow · Answer

Because it is not your business.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

because you're not entitled to know that?

Jkgordon · Answer

Becsuse you are annoying and nosey

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

Because it's none of your business?

Jefftheduck · Answer

Because it’s not your business

PreferNot2Say · Answer

Because it's none of your business.

fonduegirl · Answer

It's none of your business, woman

In_Trance · Answer

Why are you interacting with your ex-husband?

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Do you really care about his new girlfriend?

Why does my ex-husband get so mad when I ask him questions about his relationship with his new girlfriend?

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