What to do when your boyfriend's mom is dying?

[Honest_Kayla]

My boyfriend's mom was diagnosed with cancer three years ago. She has been through a lot of surgeries, radiation, and chemotherapy. Today she was flighted to the Mayo Clinic and is preparing for another surgery in order to remove fluid from in and around her lungs. She had taken a turn for the worse and I fear she is dying. I have no idea what to say or do for my boyfriend. We are both entering college next year. Please give me your opinions. I need help.

[Anonymous]

This might sound a little mean but there's not much you can do.

your boyfriend needs you so be there.

support him

let him know you care and are willing to be by his side.

theres not much else you can do so don't feel you have to try and make everything right.

time will take its course so take each day as it comes and be there.

[ninpu]

dont ask him how he's doing / feeling

ask him if there's anything you can do for him

ask if he's taking care of himself (if he's eating properly etc)

if you can get to him easily then do it

basically all he needs is someone to be there, listen to him, and care for him while he's caring for his mother

[Honest_Kayla]

Thank you. unfortunately I can't get to him, he is at a catholic heart work camp in Mississippi right now. and he isn't answering his cell phone.

[ninpu]

Dont say that you know how he feels

and whatever else you say, take a moment, doesn't matter how long, put yourself in his shoes and figure out if itll be taken in a negetive way. because right now he is in an emotionally sensitive state.

[ninpu]

When you both decide to end the convo for that night , try to make him laugh by saying "listen, when your mother gets better, you better not cry like a little girl, cause I'm gonna kick your ass ok?"

in the end (you probably already do this but ill mention it anyway) tell him you love him

[ninpu]

Yea he won't until he's outside the hospital maybe, cause you can't use a phone in there

[Trihill]

why don't you go see him and maybe go see his mom together?

are you planning on marrying this guy? - think about this before the first question

are you planning to be a good friend if things go bad? - break ups make things worse

[Honest_Kayla]

I hope to marry but college is standing in the way right now. (families are big about getting a degree before marriage) Yes I plan to be good friends if things go bad. The main problem right now is I can't get a hold of him, he is far away not in the same state(he is at a camp) and my car is totaled.

[Trihill]

Send him a card...put a picture of the two of you in it...email if that's not possible

[stalinhornsby]

Let his Dad handle it. All you can do is be supportive.