Polls: Relationships

What would you do if your loved one offered such a relationship?

First, moving in with me he had been saving $700 month with a $40,000 increase in salary within 2 years. I make not even half of his income and living paycheque by paycheque. He is not paying me half of my fixed monthly expenses for the house (mortgage, property management fees, insurance and property tax). He is only paying half of my monthly mortgage payment. I waived charging him current rental market pricing, property tax, and the insurance for the house. He is paying cheap rent. On top of that, instead of renting out my parking spot for additional income, I let him park there at no charge.

He went off about buying 2 Starbuck drinks in a row at $8 total. I was pretty shock. Then he complained about taking me out on dates on the weekend spending too much on me. Roughly, $150 we spend on eating out on a weekly basis. I also pay at times and I cook all meals at home. This explains it all. He counts and I clearly don’t.

I explained to him how every month I pay at least $400 a month more than him just to keep this house. I wanted to be generous and help him out a bit so he can save more money. In reality, it is not fair that he’s not paying half of the shelter cost and he’s complaining about spending too much money. He was is disbelief that I was generous to him based on my home equity and the cost to own. I would be generous if I had asked to pay $500 rent. He laughed at my mortgage statements and emphasized how not generous I am. He completely disregarded the fact I omit the property tax, parking spot, and insurance for him…and equity would pay these things off with the rent he gives me. Most importantly, he disregarded my feelings and the fact that I make not even half of his annual income living paycheque by paycheque… and I have monthly fixed expenses just to keep the house.

I cried all night and today. He apologized and finally see the monthly expenses I had been paying which I waived for him. Then he told me he would pay $1200 instead of $1000

What about if it was a loved one? It doesn't have to be something like cheating, just lying about something serious.

Anytime he gets mad at me he changes his background from a photo of us to something else. This last time he put a photo of him and his dad at his last wedding and cropped out his ex wife. I understand the significance, but also feel it is a little disrespectful to me that he couldn’t choose another time period for a photo with his dad. It’s clearly his wedding in the photo. We have been together over 2 years and have a house together. Am I being silly or is this a valid thought?

I’m hopeful but they don’t want to let me down and hurt me.

So my boyfriend and I have been together for the last 3 years and been the best girlfriend possible for him. I sacrifice what I can/need to in order for him to be happy like spending money on gifts or whatever he needs with other things. Even though this might sound unhealthy, I went past my comfort zones/boundaries to please him. For example, he started to withhold sex because I wouldn’t get on birth control for him. I got on a method, not one he preferred, and it was fine for some time until he wanted more (the method he stated at the beginning). I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that but had to get it in order to receive anything intimate again.

also when you read this, please don’t judge.

recently though, he took it upon himself to purchase me a laptop that I need for graduate school which I appreciated a lot. However, he planned on buying it from a sketchy site and I begged him to buy it elsewhere. He said he wanted to do what he want, and got the laptop. I drove a long way to get it from him, and when I got home the laptop isn’t connecting to the internet which is a huge problem. Then the responsibility fell onto me to solve it when he could’ve made sure the laptop was fine while it was in his possession for a week or so. I had to drive more to a repair store and wait hours for them to tell me it cannot be fixed. I told him after and he claimed that the repair “isn’t that much,” and how I should’ve requested a cheaper laptop instead for school. I asked for the return label so I can mail it off to get a refund for him since he wasn’t going to do that and he said he was “too tired” to do so but wouldn’t give me his account information so I can do it myself. I’m not sure how to deal with this behavior or what to think of it considering how well I’ve treated him and he didn’t have to worry about a thing. Like I bought him a phone last year and it’s been working fine since. What should I do? Please explain.

Just to make things clear, he never hurt me physically.

The outburts usually happen when he's stressed and lately it's almost every other day.

He gets really aggressive, he breaks things, he shouts and then nitpicks at various meaningless little things and then we argue and I just can't help it but feel small, weak. I sometimes cry and wonder if this is normal and whether I am just too sensitive

He has a strong voice so any louder than normal talk from him gets me nervous, when he shouts I almost tremble, get a shaky voice and can't keep on arguing more.

Do you think it's maybe just me overreacting? My father also is VERY hotheaded and aggressive and loud, he even used to hit me for various reasons.