If you have a significant other would you prefer that you two live with each other or the both of you have your own places?

[FinalFantasyBro]

Living Together: The two of you can split the cost of rent or mortgage and it is easier to hang out with each other but you guys need to compromise and neither can't have most of the space around the house. Oh by the way you two can also split chores unlike living separately.

Living Separately: While this is more expensive and might be trickier to see each other some days unless you guys live in the same neighborhood or apartment complex of course. But neither of you don't have to compromise on certain rooms because since you have your own space and your girl or guy also has their own space you guys can decorate and have literally everything y'all want in your own places.

Living Together

Living Separately

[Lliam]

I learned the hard way that, if your not married, DON'T move in together. It's a very bad idea.

You were both living somewhere before you met. Keep your own places. You can still live together.

One girlfriend talked me into renting a house together. As time went by, her true nature started emerging. As it turned out, she was emotionally disturbed, clinically.

One day, while I was a work, she moved out with her stuff, some of my stuff and cash I had set aside for the next month's rent.

So I lost $500 and had to find a new apartment, a really nice apartment as it turned out.

My next girlfriend and I lived together for over a year. I had my apartment but she was renting a house with two roommates who only shared the kitchen and back bathroom. We both had our own places but slept together every night. She would come to my place sometimes, but I mostly lived at her place. I kept changes of clothes and essential there. We lived like a married couple who both worked full time.

At some point, we separated due to complicated reasons that had nothing to do with cheating or anything mean. We simply went back to living in our own places.

My next girlfriend was my future wife. We didn't live together until we got married two years after we met. As soon as we got married, we rented an apartment. We moved two more times before buying a house. We've been married now for over 25 years and have been living in our house for over 20 years.

[MTC29]

Separate! The SO lives down the street and has suggested that she moves in with me.

"Your home is so a large 3 bedroom. I could move in and then rent my place (which is smaller.

Fuck that noise! I need my space.

See this closet...

How many men who have a woman living with him has a closet that looks like this? None of my married friends. The guys all ended up with the short shelf in the back, and everyone's clothes (husband and wife) are squished together. I hate that!

[DaveJord]

LMAO! IKR? 🤣 🤣

[Apple1996]

Me and my husband both have our own closets and he has much more clothes then i do cuz of work. Tbh I don't even hang my stuff I have a tiny cube organizer that I put all my clothes in, he could take over my closet if he wished. So not all wives take up the whole closet with clothes. Women who have that many clothes are sick with a shopping addiction in my opinion lol

[MTC29]

@Apple1996 The SO's "solution" was that she take the other two closets. WRONG. One closet has a gun safe as well as shelves for ammunition and shooting accessories. The other closet is where I keep my golf clubs and motorcycle riding gear. No room at the inn (so to speak).

[Apple1996]

Tbh every man I know is like that they have closets either full of clothes or other types of gear. I've never met any women like family/friends that do the stereotypical closet take over. It's always the men 😆

[Apple1996]

I don't understand the closet thing like why not a dresser or store the clothes somewhere else? Maybe I'm just too simple

[2Wheels]

I chose living separately since I've been down the road of either living with a boyfriend or the boyfriend living with me and it definitely takes away the appreciation it seems. At least on their end I've noticed. They start to take you for granted.

I've heard that people who live separately have a much happier and exciting relationship as whenever they do spend time together it's cherished more.

But, that's just what I've experienced. It doesn't make it true for everyone.

[LovingLoverReturned]

They aren't significant if not living together and able to tolerate each other... They are a booty call or friend.

It is also true that only a husband is significant to me. Boyfriends are cared for but marriage is only for those we view as significant.

[OlderAndWiser]

I live with my girlfriend and I cannot imagine NOT living together! The best part of the day is getting in bed at night, whispering quietly with her, putting my arms around her, and going to sleep. I feel absolutely at peace with her!

[Staffmember]

You have a girlfriend at 67 🤣🤣🤣

[OlderAndWiser]

@Staffmember Of course! My desire for a loving relationship has never waned.

[Apple1996]

Best to live together to be able to spend time and sleep together every night. Living separately seems so sad like your not even together

[DaveJord]

Really depends right? I have dated women where 4 to 6 months in I am totally thinking I would want to live with person. But 8 months you start think maybe its not such a good idea. So I always say I wouldn't do it any sooner than after a whole year of dating... but even then moving in together is like one step closer to marriage... and I don't want a second marriage at this piont in my life. But yes I would not mind living together with my women.

My current girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. We have discussed the possibility of living to gather someday, I told her I would never consider marriage until after living together for at least 1 whole year together, and I am not opposed to long engagements. We both had bad divorces in our lives.. She agreed to that, but has 16 & 18 year old daughters and I told her I would not consider moving in together until after her kids are 18 and grown. I own my condo out right, and its perfect for two people, where as she rents a three bedroom house with a roommate and I am not leaving my condo. So she is not against moving in with me, but agrees she does not want to do it until her kids are grown and gone.

So that's an issue for me, because that's two to three years down the line and that allows for a lot of uncertainty... but maybe that's a good thing. Good not to move to fast anyway.

[midnightmoon05]

Wise plans.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DaveJord Your plans sound very reasonable.

[DaveJord]

@Jamie05rhs @midnightmoon05 Thanks!

[bennies_819]

I will want us to live separately even as boyfriend and girlfriend until we are married not engaged Mari because a lot of people tend to get divorced or separate before they get married when they are moved in with each other and I feel like in my opinion it is inappropriate to move in with your significant other if you aren't married to that person cuz technically to me you guys are still in my thoughts single cuz you aren't married cuz you guys can get a break up at any given time I'll call off the wedding and you'll be stuck with them in the same house with you and bringing people over or even their date over and it'll just be a very awkward situation if you aren't married.

[midnightmoon05]

The right person, we can move in after dating 9 months and more.
the wrong person, no moving in. By then I would know he is not for me.
I dated an guy for a yr. or so.. he wanted to move in. I said no because he takes drugs.
then I met my second husband. We dated LD for 6 years. That helped us understand each other well. When we spent time together, it was 2 weeks to 2 months… so that was helpful to understand how we both get along.
we finally had to made a decision …. He moved to my side of the country. I have my job, families… just makes sense… even though it took him 6 years. He was living in his hometown for over 30 years. So was hard for him to make a life time change to a woman from a long distance relationship.
fast forward, the challenges we went through helped us learn to resolve difference. We are in a much better place now. And married!

[wolfcat87]

So, I have 2 husbands. We each have our own houses. It keeps the relationship a bit more fun I think. I still feel like I'm enjoying and exploring a guy's bedroom when I go visit them. They get the nice feminine space when they visit me. We can have whatever we want without having to compromise. If one is messy, then the other doesn't have to live with it. We can skip dealing with snoring, gas, toilet sharing, catching cooties when sick, etc. If we want to sleep over then we can. There are just way more options.

[SkyCastle90]

Live together 100%.

If your goal is marriage and children, then it's imperative to know the other person well and the most efficient way to achieve that is by living together. Problem is too many people are fair-weathered; the slightest storm cloud sends them packing, but almost EVERY relationship will have their up and downs.

Unless everyone involved had the most loving and stable childhood, no one is without issues/baggage and it's best to confront that early so you can make a choice to stay or go. In my opinion, living separately delays that choice, months or years will go by and you still have no idea how bad her depression actually is, or she doesn't how much he drinks when alone, etc.

[melaniee789456123]

I would prefer to live separately from my significant other for at least 1-2 years before considering living together.

All in all, I would only move in with them/have them move in with me if we've been in a serious relationship with a goal of marriage for at least 1-2 years.

I feel this way because I think that you should know what its like to live with your significant other before marrying them or taking the next step since you may not be compatible in a lifestyle with them.

[SoftCliff]

I thought the goal of having a SO, is to eventually move in together. It's good to find out, if you are a good match with them, or if you can't stand their guts and have someone to share bills, household duties and chores and be with someone you love of course.

If you live in a big house with a spare room, and a couch that is a viable sleeping option, you can still have your own space

[ethanallen]

Research shows that couples who cohabitat before marriage are no more likely to remain married than those couples who do not cohabitate.

[laurieluvsit]

Doesn't sound very 'significant' if you're not living together, nor does it sound like a way to move it into the more 'significant' level.

You don't really get to know someone until you live with them and get in some fights... then you will know them... lol

[Sugar100]

My dream is live with a boyfriend but I’m 25 and live alone as it’s hard find a boyfriend and have him live with you. 😓 I don't know how girls get any man easily race to life with them. It’s impossible. Some are mommy’s boys and prefer marry thier mom than life with a women.

[Juxtapose]

Try going to the local library and hitting up some of the nerds.

[TheUniqueOne96]

It depends.

If living together meant we have a big house and enough individual privacy, then I'd go with that, but if living alone meant we live close together, then I'd go with that, because I definitely feel like I'd want my own privacy.

[NathanDavis]

that of course would depend on many circumstances, both hers and mine...

but generally speaking, I would be looking for a long term relationship and for that, ideally... the best is to live together

and I would want it that way as well... to be together as much as possible, it does feel much more of a relationship to me, which is what I would want

[Valso]

Living together sounds fun initially, but if you ever get into a fight, she will have all the power over you and she WILL abuse that power by kicking you out in the street. That's why living separately is better. What's even better, which not many men do, is to keep an apartment or a house somewhere on the side - better registered in somebody else's name, even after getting married and never telling her about it. Cuz love is one thing but one has to be smart when dealing with gold diggers (women) and always be at least one step ahead of them.

[CalmMind]

I did the married/living together life for 11 years. I did most of the cleaning, cooking and worked a full-time job. Why would I want to do that again? Obviously not everyone's the same or even saying my experience was the norm but why take the chance? Plus, in the event things don't work out there's nothing to move out.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I've been married for 10+ years now and I'm growing tired of living together. She's a slob, cluttered, and I prefer neat and clean with minimal 'stuff' all over the place. I want to build a shed to tiny home in the back yard and make that my permament living place.

[Orange85]

Own place. I don’t want to share my space and chores I’d like to keep my own home. Unless we couldn’t afford to and it was necessity. Then I would compromise I would have to know that we would both do chores and eat out most the time 😝

[ethanallen]

I prefer keeping my own place. Women are crazy and you never know when they will disrupt your life. Having my own place frees me from any of the consequences of a woman's insanity. Even if I got married, I would keep a separate place (a secret place) where I go to when I need to get away from my wife.

[DizzyDesii]

Its tempting since rent is crazy these days but i prefer live separately and not shack up until at least engaged. And even then, i dont want the engagement to last more than 6 months before marrying

[Losalt]

Definitely together.
But we'd need separate rooms.
Sometimes one of us is going to need some privacy.
Some time alone.
And that's important.