This MyTake is going to be anonymous, for reasons that most of you know. It's mainly for self-protection, since ex-muslims are to be executed. -Yes, just like in the maras of San Pedro Sula, you may join, but you can never leave-.
I want to point out that this is NOT a disrespect to muslims. This is NOT against you. I have been a muslim myself, my siblings and parents still are. I understand your convictions and beliefs, and I respect them. This MyTake only states my PERSONAL opinion and experience, that I would like to express to anyone who is curious about it.
I was born in a muslim family, in a muslim country. I went to a muslim school, had a muslim education. Since I was a little kid, I have been taught all the nice things about Islam, everything that makes it a beautiful religion. We were taught to fast Ramadan to feel how the poor live while starving, giving away a part of our money is an obligation, helping people in need is an obligation, being kind to animals is an obligation, cheating/stealing/lying is forbidden, saying bad things in another person's back is forbidden, etc. We were taught that we are to be rewarded for the simple things, like a smile to another human, like seeking education. We were taught to accept other religions, and to coexist peacefully.
That is to say, MOST muslims that you will meet are actually nice people. They will probably be kind to you no matter your religion. Most muslims have no intention of killing you, or blowing up a bomb, or doing something bad to you. That is because the majority of muslims have been taught SOFT islam, they are not terrorits. In this same category, you will find muslim women who don't wear hijab, people who drink, and do other things that are considered as sins and forbidden by islam although they believe in Allah and Muhammad and so on. This is the kind of Islam I grew up in too, a soft one with a focus on believing in god and being a good person without really bothering with the details of religion.
I have also always disagreed with a few things in Islam, mostly polygamy, the obligation of wearing hijab, underage marriage etc. but it never really seemed to be a big problem to me, as my country does not force anything on anyone, unlike other countries.
It went from few disagreements to my whole beliefs being shook 3 years ago, when a Pakistani friend of mine got executed for being suspected of atheistic behavior. As a long time happy muslim, I had a hard time believing that my peaceful religion was killing people who leave it. Like was that a sort of gang or what? Why would something as great as Allah have to use abusive and forceful ways such as that to keep someone in his religion? It was totally absurd, I couldn't believe it, and I blamed it on people misunderstanding of the concept of Islam because I couldn't admit to myself that my religion is THAT cruel.
That's when I started research. I mean REAL research, not browsing through people's posts on the internet. I read, I took classes, I wore a burqa to access islamic education courses, I met doctors in Islam and Imams and pretended to be seeking God's path, I pretended to be homeless for some time and stayed at a mosquee with other people and they taught us all about REAL islam, and that's when I had a total break down, because I realized that everything I have been taught and everything I grew up in was only 1% of the nice cover of Islam, that actually happens to be the most cruel and most violent religion that exists.
I learned so many awful things that this MyTake doesn't have the space to take. From the little things like getting 7 years old girls married, or men having the right to forcefully fuck their wives and geting to have sex slaves to big things like killing people who have sex outside of their marriage, killing people who seem to have second thoughts about religion, whether they express it in words, in actions, or just seem to believe in it.
In the end, after years of searching and learning about Islam, I came to the conclusion that its whole concept is totally biased. The main principle of it based on BLIND belief in something you have never seen or heard of, except for supposed miracles that happens thousands of years ago and of which not a single evidence is left. Why doesn't Allah make a miracle now and make the believing in him process much easier? Talking of blind belief and paradox, it is said that Allah supposedly made you and gave you a brain to use. You are allowed to use it for everything, but if you ever use it to question religion or existence you have to die because you are not allowed to.
Besides that, I also came to the conclusion that Islam was probably made by a desperate man; men have to cover their Vline, junk and thighs. Woman have to cover head to toe because they are provocative. they can only whisper-talk because their voices are provokative, they herit half of what a man herits because they are just women, men can have 4 wives and an endless number of females sex slaves, men can sexually abuse their wives, and can physically abuse them and their children. Men are promised 72 virgins in heaven, a river of wine, a river of honey. Women aren't promised shit. Real muslim also live by Allah's saying that he only created humans to worship him and serve him, and that in order to make it pleasant for them, he made them a land full of goods and women to sleep with them and carry their children, that's the concept. The list is very long but I will stop here.
The thing is, after discovering Islam, I felt disgusted that I have been living years defending a religion I knew nothing about, thinking I knew much about it. I felt ashamed when I knew what it was really about. Now, I am not a muslim, nor am I an atheist. I do not have enough knowledge to fathom my existence or grasp how the world works or decide if god is there or not there. My status is just kinda lost but definitely NOT muslim. I don't know what is right or what is wrong, but I left Islam because I realized I have never been a muslim in the first place. I left Islam because after knowing the religion, I asked myself: "if you weren't born muslim, and were introduced to islam as you know it now, would you choose it?". My answer was obviously NO, if I had to choose, I wouldn't have been a muslim.
(PLEASE, if you are a muslim intending on starting a debate about this, just spare yourself the trouble. My goal is not coinving anyone or having anyone to convince me about how right or wrong I am. My opinion is personal and you have the right to have a different opinion)
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