When I was in between stages in my life, I had a dream that there was a wedding taking place at a banquet hall within a hospital to the far left and all the brides maids were dressed in shiny pink dresses that were almost reddish in colour. I was among them and in my dream we were all given chocolate we were supposed to eat one week after the wedding and one bridesmaid ate her chocolate before the week was over and it cost her $1,000.
I realize now, the 7 days is a symbol for the completion of a weekly cycle, a phase, or a period in my life, and symbolizes either the completion or established ground work for my purpose and or the attainment of my mission in life. The red dresses represent the desire for more and the discontent with my current stage or achievements in life. The hospital is a place of mental and psychological healing, and the chocolate represents the happiness of a romantic relationship or pleasant lifestyle, that is designed more for happiness than for its utilitarian purposes.
Based on this dream, I believe God was telling me, He would not allow me to marry or find love, until I had fully established the fundamental spiritual structures of my mission, which is my purposes in God. I was given my purpose when I first began university but rejected God’s plan because I was scared and did not have the desire or courage to pursue it, and now 17 years later, I find myself doing exactly what I was called to do by God 17 years ago.
I also realized that maybe God kept me single because he wanted me to have a lifestyle that was different from the married lifestyle at this time in my existence. Like I met a guy that I thought would be perfect for giving me a flawless and easy marriage, but maybe it’s not God’s Will for me to have a perfect relationship with almost no challenges or personal sacrifice. Maybe God wants me with a guy higher in status who will challenge me and motivate me to improve myself or maybe God wants me with a guy who shares similar purposes and theology as me.
I realized today that I can plan my life and future marriage all I want, but if God does not approve, He will scrap my ideas in the wastebasket by making sure they fail. So it’s God who determines when I marry, and not my own personal desire. And God might think that for now, I’m better off single.
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"And God might think that for now, I’m better off single"—true. Single folks have the inherent capability of giving more of oneself to others than those do you are "weighted down," so to speak. Once a relationship builds, you must devote an inordinate amount of time to keep it alive, to nurse it when it begins to fade, and to find ways to keep it building. Then, if children show up on the scene (!), time is nearly exclusively focused on family. A single person is not burdened (might be too strong of word). A single person can devote themself to work, recreation or giving of themselves to world as they feel led.
What a single is something that I have envied most my life because I've always sought to have exclusive relationships. Before children, I could still focus my life on my occupation along with significant other, but after children, it was never the same again.