Didn't get them much when I lived in Cali. But now I'm back in the UK it's more frequent.
It's strange since my house looks like the devil and his best mates Sarah, Winifred and Mary threw up on it. We even have little witchy cat ornaments by the front door.
What do you do when they show up at your door?
Speak to them politely. I generally try to avoid getting deep into theology with them, since that's not really what they're there to do. The main purpose of Mormon missionary programs isn't recruiting new Mormons, it's showing the young adults that the larger world around them is hostile to members of their faith (not really true anymore, but it certainly was once, and even now, people don't like being interrupted to be told their religion is wrong), and to keep them self-isolating.
A related story: I did a year at community college, and one day a week, I had enough time between classes to chill out for a bit, but not enough to go home, so I'd hang around in the central commons area. One day, I got into a conversation with the Mormon missionary guy stationed there (several groups had tables set up), and I think he was very pleased to find someone who would talk to him about religion without screaming that his was fake and weird. After a while, however, the Jehovah's Witness guy came over and joined in, which was fine at first- but then the disputes between the two of them started up, and while I tried to moderate between them, things got more and more intense and they started ignoring me altogether. Eventually, I walked away, and neither of them seemed to notice. Part of me wonders if they're still standing there arguing.
Well, when those pious peeps come knocking, I usually greet them with my own holy trinity – my three luscious lady lumps! I offer them a titillating temptation they can't resist, and before they know it, they're lost in a sea of seductive satisfaction.
I like to think of my breasts as my own personal weapons of mass distraction, able to divert even the most devout of door-to-door disciples from their mission. Wholesome wonders of wild wonderment, they're the perfect antidote to any religious fever.
And if they're still not convinced, I'll bust out my bewitching boobies – the ones that look like they were conjured up by a coven of horny witches on a full moon night. These magnificent mammaries of mesmerizing magnificence are sure to have them under my spell in no time.
So yes, when the Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses come knocking on my door, I'm ready with my own brand of holy offerings – my voluptuous vessels of voracious voracity. They may come preaching the gospel, but I'll be spreading the word of my divine orbs.
I listen to them say thank you and goodbye that's it, usually here they're very fast they don't talk during hours they just gave me a paper, invited me to their reunion and that's it. It's much faster when you do it this ways just nodding when they talk rather than trying to talk to them out of their shit.
My parents just yell at them to get out of there and my grandfather like to talk during hours with them for humiliating them XD
I’m in LA so it hardly happens but my friend who lives in the UK, has trouble with them coming round all the time. He’s told me that he has a bathroom window right above the front door, and now every time they come round, he keeps busy at the front while his girlfriend runs upstairs with a bucket of honey, opens the bathroom window and and tips the bucket of honey on them.
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I just take their little lighthouse pamphlets and they go away... if I answer the door at all. If I'm not expecting food and someone knocks on my door I usually just turn up the TV so they know I'm there and ignore them.
My Mom used to answer the door and tell them she's a witch. The most retarded shit I've ever watched but at least it was funny. The only one she was nice to was actually my teacher at school. I'd smoke weed with her kid.
In Japan I'd just be confused that a bunch of Asians were trying to be Mormons... like why? They always trick me by having hot chicks ring the door and then when I see nerds waiting just out of sight... that's when I knew I fucked up. I gotta stop falling for hot chicks at the door... I haven't gotten any pussy that way and I don't think it's going to happen, so I just need to learn my lesson already.
I will invite them in, listen to their presentations, ask some "gotcha" questions regarding doctrine, thank them for their visit and make no commitment. As I show them out, I'll let them know that a return visit is not necessary; that I know all I need to to make any decision I'd want to make. As a "saved" and observant Evangelical Christian, the is no need to confront them beyond cautioning them that where their theology varies from Christian Doctrine that when they die and are at their funerals, they may end up "all dressed up with nowhere to go".
Never had them come to my own house as adult but as a kid my mom always let them in our house to chat and even made friends with the women.
Not sure how true it is but my mom told me that the women are often abused and them walking around is there only time out and away from their abusive husband's. Might have just been those specific women but still that's why she always let them in for a long time.
They usually were very handsome foreigners, or missionaries trying to enlighten orthodox Georgians- I opened the door, let them in and sit in the dining room with my grandma, who is such a hardcore Christian and practiced my English. That’s how I got my accent, which I am often complimented on.
On the occasions that this occurs, either my husband or I very politely point out that there are two sides to our gates...The Right Side and The Wrong Side and unfortunately they are standing on the Wrong Side... Normally this is quite sufficient for them to grasp what we're saying and leave without any fuss or bother.
I talk to them nicely and wish them well at the end. Maybe offer a beverage. Say I don't agree with them, but everyone has their views. they aren't bad people, just have their beliefs which to me are flawed. Kids raised in it will see it all as true, like any other belief.
They aren't out murdering people... so it isn't all bad.
If a JW, you say "I'm sorry, but I am an apostate."
When you say that to a JW, this implies that you WERE a Jehovah's Witness but that you've rejected the religion. They usually would leave you alone after that.
As for Mormons, you might want to reconsider. After all...
For years, I just brushed them off, then I started talking to them occasionally.
I knew I'd then get bombarded by them, which I kind of did, but it was cool, they eventually left me be. They seemed to be nice people.
There haven't been any in my neighborhood in probably 15 years now.
I love talking to Jehovah's witnesses, we have so much to discuss. I'm always very polite and friendly. But they haven't shown up for years now, I think got myself on a list.
Usually I like to talk about how we know that God is good and not evil.
That doesn't happen because I my apartment door is behind a locked lobby door. It's happened very rarely. If somehow it were to happen, my reaction would depend on my mood. If I invited them in, I would pretend I had never heard of any of it, and keep questioning them. "So you say that... because the Bible..." How do you know the Bible is true? Isn't it just another book written by people?" Who knows? I might precipitate a deconversion.
I used to talk to them. Had a few good conversations, and got to the point where they basically freely admitted that their logic was circular. i. e. if you believe, then you will believe, and belief is what causes you to believe.
But I got bored, and now that I live on my boat, I am under their radar, or off their proselytizing route at least.
I don't answer the door to anyone unless I already knew who was coming and such purpose. Therefore my door only opens to my friend or delivery's.
If one lived in America and tried to do that they would get shot so I doubt they would risk knocking in the first place. In England they can do it without such worry only reason it happens.
The last time I had one I was mowing my lawn and one of them walked up my driveway and motioned for me to stop. They started chewing my ear off so I politely said I was not interested and that I needed to get my lawn mowed before it got dark. They would not leave so I told them if they were still there when i got back I would call the cops and have them arrested for trespassing. Then I started my lawnmower and drove away.
Keeping in mind respect for any genuine belief, even silly ones, I'm always polite, and tell them kindly I'm not interested in changing religion (if any), and sometimes, depending on the persons in front of me, I tell them with chosen words I reject every blind literal interpretation of Holy scripts, whatever those are. By the way, I never had Mormons at my door, only Jehovah's Witnesses.
In fact it's big beneficial business, vulnerable senior citizen need company to talk some one, share feeling with some one, these folks given imaginary mirage hope and return their property and wealth name of Yahwi or Jehovah or god father as a 'will'.
Most of them are paid workers and activities are specially in summer.
I don't open my without any prior an appointment.
It's an option not an opium, if anyone got harsh feelings then my sincere apologies.
Then your house is a magnet for them because the whole point of spreading the word in general isn't to other believers, it's for people that aren't found yet, your house most likely attracts them and just don't answer if it bothers you so much
Depends if I want to have fun with them or not. I might tell them I'm already on a mission from God and it supersedes whatever you think you have to tell me. Or I might tell them, ESPECIALLY the Mormons, that I have it on good authority that you guys are totally mistaken, and guess who told me? Or I'll tell them I'm a rabbi.
"Piss oooffff."
Sure, not very nice but i can't care. Just knowing anyone could be a "Jehovah's witness" at my doorstep is unsettling. it could be rapists in disguise for all i know
Id bring my bible out and tell them that no where in the bible does God say to harass people at there homes trying to preach his name so what they are doing is going against what God has written and therefore to re read their bible.
I used to answer it and listen to their little info dump they give you. But then they kept coming to my house so I just got my husband to answer the door and he would just say "nope" and close the door lol
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