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Didn't get them much when I lived in Cali. But now I'm back in the UK it's more frequent.
It's strange since my house looks like the devil and his best mates Sarah, Winifred and Mary threw up on it. We even have little witchy cat ornaments by the front door.
What do you do when they show up at your door?
Speak to them politely. I generally try to avoid getting deep into theology with them, since that's not really what they're there to do. The main purpose of Mormon missionary programs isn't recruiting new Mormons, it's showing the young adults that the larger world around them is hostile to members of their faith (not really true anymore, but it certainly was once, and even now, people don't like being interrupted to be told their religion is wrong), and to keep them self-isolating.
A related story: I did a year at community college, and one day a week, I had enough time between classes to chill out for a bit, but not enough to go home, so I'd hang around in the central commons area. One day, I got into a conversation with the Mormon missionary guy stationed there (several groups had tables set up), and I think he was very pleased to find someone who would talk to him about religion without screaming that his was fake and weird. After a while, however, the Jehovah's Witness guy came over and joined in, which was fine at first- but then the disputes between the two of them started up, and while I tried to moderate between them, things got more and more intense and they started ignoring me altogether. Eventually, I walked away, and neither of them seemed to notice. Part of me wonders if they're still standing there arguing.
Well, when those pious peeps come knocking, I usually greet them with my own holy trinity – my three luscious lady lumps! I offer them a titillating temptation they can't resist, and before they know it, they're lost in a sea of seductive satisfaction.
I like to think of my breasts as my own personal weapons of mass distraction, able to divert even the most devout of door-to-door disciples from their mission. Wholesome wonders of wild wonderment, they're the perfect antidote to any religious fever.
And if they're still not convinced, I'll bust out my bewitching boobies – the ones that look like they were conjured up by a coven of horny witches on a full moon night. These magnificent mammaries of mesmerizing magnificence are sure to have them under my spell in no time.
So yes, when the Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses come knocking on my door, I'm ready with my own brand of holy offerings – my voluptuous vessels of voracious voracity. They may come preaching the gospel, but I'll be spreading the word of my divine orbs.
@roosterbreast How many people have you blocked? Half of G@G is my guess.
@Daniela1982 about 4, it's mostly political. Siri and exitseven blocked me thinking that I have TDS, and legal boxers blocked me when I posted something sexy about conservatives, but didn't mind something sexy about Democrats, explained here: Should a BB gun be considered a firearm? ↗
And maybe one or two at max more who thought I'm trying to make them jealous with my seductive writing.
I think more like making them throw up. 🤢🤮
I listen to them say thank you and goodbye that's it, usually here they're very fast they don't talk during hours they just gave me a paper, invited me to their reunion and that's it. It's much faster when you do it this ways just nodding when they talk rather than trying to talk to them out of their shit.
My parents just yell at them to get out of there and my grandfather like to talk during hours with them for humiliating them XD
I’m in LA so it hardly happens but my friend who lives in the UK, has trouble with them coming round all the time. He’s told me that he has a bathroom window right above the front door, and now every time they come round, he keeps busy at the front while his girlfriend runs upstairs with a bucket of honey, opens the bathroom window and and tips the bucket of honey on them.
Opinion
49Opinion
I just take their little lighthouse pamphlets and they go away... if I answer the door at all. If I'm not expecting food and someone knocks on my door I usually just turn up the TV so they know I'm there and ignore them.
My Mom used to answer the door and tell them she's a witch. The most retarded shit I've ever watched but at least it was funny. The only one she was nice to was actually my teacher at school. I'd smoke weed with her kid.
In Japan I'd just be confused that a bunch of Asians were trying to be Mormons... like why? They always trick me by having hot chicks ring the door and then when I see nerds waiting just out of sight... that's when I knew I fucked up. I gotta stop falling for hot chicks at the door... I haven't gotten any pussy that way and I don't think it's going to happen, so I just need to learn my lesson already.
I will invite them in, listen to their presentations, ask some "gotcha" questions regarding doctrine, thank them for their visit and make no commitment. As I show them out, I'll let them know that a return visit is not necessary; that I know all I need to to make any decision I'd want to make. As a "saved" and observant Evangelical Christian, the is no need to confront them beyond cautioning them that where their theology varies from Christian Doctrine that when they die and are at their funerals, they may end up "all dressed up with nowhere to go".
Never had them come to my own house as adult but as a kid my mom always let them in our house to chat and even made friends with the women.
Not sure how true it is but my mom told me that the women are often abused and them walking around is there only time out and away from their abusive husband's. Might have just been those specific women but still that's why she always let them in for a long time.
They usually were very handsome foreigners, or missionaries trying to enlighten orthodox Georgians- I opened the door, let them in and sit in the dining room with my grandma, who is such a hardcore Christian and practiced my English. That’s how I got my accent, which I am often complimented on.
Practiced my English with them *
I also prepared them a cup of coffee or tea.
On the occasions that this occurs, either my husband or I very politely point out that there are two sides to our gates...The Right Side and The Wrong Side and unfortunately they are standing on the Wrong Side... Normally this is quite sufficient for them to grasp what we're saying and leave without any fuss or bother.
I talk to them nicely and wish them well at the end. Maybe offer a beverage. Say I don't agree with them, but everyone has their views. they aren't bad people, just have their beliefs which to me are flawed. Kids raised in it will see it all as true, like any other belief.
They aren't out murdering people... so it isn't all bad.
I don't answer the door to anyone unless I already knew who was coming and such purpose. Therefore my door only opens to my friend or delivery's.
If one lived in America and tried to do that they would get shot so I doubt they would risk knocking in the first place. In England they can do it without such worry only reason it happens.
If a JW, you say "I'm sorry, but I am an apostate."
When you say that to a JW, this implies that you WERE a Jehovah's Witness but that you've rejected the religion. They usually would leave you alone after that.
As for Mormons, you might want to reconsider. After all...
For years, I just brushed them off, then I started talking to them occasionally.
I knew I'd then get bombarded by them, which I kind of did, but it was cool, they eventually left me be. They seemed to be nice people.
There haven't been any in my neighborhood in probably 15 years now.
I love talking to Jehovah's witnesses, we have so much to discuss. I'm always very polite and friendly. But they haven't shown up for years now, I think got myself on a list.
Usually I like to talk about how we know that God is good and not evil.
I used to talk to them. Had a few good conversations, and got to the point where they basically freely admitted that their logic was circular. i. e. if you believe, then you will believe, and belief is what causes you to believe.
But I got bored, and now that I live on my boat, I am under their radar, or off their proselytizing route at least.
The last time I had one I was mowing my lawn and one of them walked up my driveway and motioned for me to stop. They started chewing my ear off so I politely said I was not interested and that I needed to get my lawn mowed before it got dark. They would not leave so I told them if they were still there when i got back I would call the cops and have them arrested for trespassing. Then I started my lawnmower and drove away.
I know a fella who was in his backyard butchering chickens when they showed up at his front door. He greeted them with a bloody white T-Shirt, and a butcher knife in his hand. No words were spoken.
What does it mean?
"Glad you could stop by. Can I get you something to drink?"
Keeping in mind respect for any genuine belief, even silly ones, I'm always polite, and tell them kindly I'm not interested in changing religion (if any), and sometimes, depending on the persons in front of me, I tell them with chosen words I reject every blind literal interpretation of Holy scripts, whatever those are. By the way, I never had Mormons at my door, only Jehovah's Witnesses.
That doesn't happen because I my apartment door is behind a locked lobby door. It's happened very rarely. If somehow it were to happen, my reaction would depend on my mood. If I invited them in, I would pretend I had never heard of any of it, and keep questioning them. "So you say that... because the Bible..." How do you know the Bible is true? Isn't it just another book written by people?" Who knows? I might precipitate a deconversion.
Depends if I want to have fun with them or not. I might tell them I'm already on a mission from God and it supersedes whatever you think you have to tell me. Or I might tell them, ESPECIALLY the Mormons, that I have it on good authority that you guys are totally mistaken, and guess who told me? Or I'll tell them I'm a rabbi.
In fact it's big beneficial business, vulnerable senior citizen need company to talk some one, share feeling with some one, these folks given imaginary mirage hope and return their property and wealth name of Yahwi or Jehovah or god father as a 'will'.
Most of them are paid workers and activities are specially in summer.
I don't open my without any prior an appointment.
It's an option not an opium, if anyone got harsh feelings then my sincere apologies.
Then your house is a magnet for them because the whole point of spreading the word in general isn't to other believers, it's for people that aren't found yet, your house most likely attracts them and just don't answer if it bothers you so much
Well I don't know it's them until I open the damn door
Then drill a peephole into your door, why does your door not have a peephole anyways 😂
I don't know didn't come with one lmao only way to see out is through the mail flap then I'd be looking at their crotches
Or twat, but that sucks, imagine walking to the door irritated thinking it's another jehovahs witness and its some sicko with a knife that pokes you up, or a crazy with a chainsaw and chops you in half lol
What a way to die
Indeed
"Piss oooffff."
Sure, not very nice but i can't care. Just knowing anyone could be a "Jehovah's witness" at my doorstep is unsettling. it could be rapists in disguise for all i know
Id bring my bible out and tell them that no where in the bible does God say to harass people at there homes trying to preach his name so what they are doing is going against what God has written and therefore to re read their bible.
I used to answer it and listen to their little info dump they give you. But then they kept coming to my house so I just got my husband to answer the door and he would just say "nope" and close the door lol
Talk about the amazing melons, honkers, boobies, tits, chesticles, bazoombas, coconuts, fiery biscuits, cantaloupes, and boom booms that women have. Doing this is a guaranteed way to break the ice and get the conversation going about God.
Are you and RoosterCockburn the same person? You both carry on about boobs.
@Daniela1982 No, @roosterbreast used to talk exclusively about gender transformation. I'm not sure why he started focusing on melons, honkers, boobies, tits, milkers, chesticles, honkers, bazoombas, coconuts, fiery biscuits, cantaloupes, boom booms, noogies, and jugs, unless I'm being targeted as a suspected tranny illuminati. I assure you I'm not one of those either.
bring out a box of Amway and ask them if they've ever thought about having another income. they'll be gone in 20 seconds
Who still has amway boxes? Are they still in business 🤔
Ok. I haven't heard amway in years.
You're very knowledgeable on amway.
Both are considered cults because of their doctrines. So I tend to ignore them. It doesn't pay to talk to them because you can't get them to see the truth, nor will you change their minds.
Back in my old house, I could see them at the door, and I just wouldn't answer. Where I live now, there are neighborhood rules against any door to door soliciting.
Depends what I want to do at the time. I never had experience with Mormons but I had a good discussion with a Jehovah´s Witness, they never came back though.
I took a Bible class with them. I even thought of joining the organization, but I realized I am an agnostic, not a religious person. I use to attend them, but I honestly haven't seen them in Antarctica.
Antarctica?
I don’t have a job or many responsibilities but I just talk to them because I think their opinions on religion are interesting.
What I did once when I was 20 and living in an apartment was answered the door butt ass naked! Never heard from them again.
Usually, I just ignored them. My mom on the other hand waits until they ask if she found Jesus and plays dumb by saying she didn't know he was lost.
u I've never had that happen, believe it or not. If they did though, I'd calmly and politely try to convert them to Catholicism 😆
Invite them in. Make tea. Talk. Invite them back.
Repeat until put on their blacklist because I'm a preacher and I know the bible better than most of them 🤣🤣🤣
Invite them in and then get out my family's Bible and ask them if they know Jesus. They leave swiftly after that.
I do not really see many around here. I think the last time one came to the door I was maybe a freshman in high school. If some did, I would engage them. I do not mind people with different worldviews.
I let them whistle. I figured that they were selling double glazing but they stuck one of their leaflets through the letterbox. There's no excuse for people coming to the door. Just send me an email.
I do, and always have welcomed them in my home. They tell me they don't usually get that kind of reception... and I think that is shameful
Tell them, the check's in the mail, I gave at the office and I promise not to cum in your mouth!
Either not even bother walking to the door or just saying "not interested" and closing the door.
If any of them were to try and demand more of my time, I would consider assault. Which is the nice way of saying it.
The dogs handle them.
Myself... I just ignore the missionaries or other folks that turn up uninvitedly.
When I lived in Utah, it never happened. Lol. Other places, I just told them I'm fine. What I really want to do is turn on porn, open a beer, and answer in my robe.
@pointtaken That is interesting that when you lived in Utah, it never happened! I was curious about that because I was thinking of moving to Utah some day. The Mormon population there is close to 70% by some accounts. How was it when you lived there? Was it obvious that the Mormon thing was very prevalent?
@ArrowheadSW very obvious. They don't come around cause they think everyone is Mormon. Lol. State run liquor stores and special "Utah" beer. Lol. Most thrift stores ("Deseret Industries") is Mormon run and you have to have a church leader sign your application.
@pointtaken LOL I didn't know they have their special beer! Did you notice any discrimination there for not being Mormon?
@ArrowheadSW it's not really their own beer. Everywhere else, beer is usually about 6% alcohol. They can't sell it in the stores more than 5% and some places refuse to sell alcohol or tobacco. There wasn't much discrimination because most of the Mormons I would talk to were "jack Mormons." Basically they went to church, believed, but didn't follow right to the last word. They cussed and drank. Lol
@pointtaken My brother has a friend who is Mormon. His wife went to jail for a year or two because she was banging her daughter's 16 year old boyfriend. They are still married. He doesn't want to damage his standing with the church by getting divorced.
@ArrowheadSW yep. Stick together always. No matter what. Lol. The way the church looks at them, is way more important than anything.
@pointtaken Do you think Mormon women can tend to be promiscuous? Just wondering if they need the release from sexual oppression.
@ArrowheadSW they're like any other women. The ones that follow strictly to the religion won't be. An ex girlfriend I had was Mormon and she cheated on me. Before me, she had other men she would have sex with.
Talk to them, listen a bit, tell them I’m Catholic, smile, thank them and wish them a good day.
they never will convert me but i like talking with the Jehovah people. Mainly cause I like bible talk 😊
Ask them questions they don't want to hear like "how do you know there's a god? Because some guy wrote it in a book?"
They receive a polite 'No thank you' and I close the door.
What they're selling is more like a cult than Christianity. I challenge their cult they're selling
Stay away from the windows and have my phone ready to call the police if they don’t leave.
Say no thank you and tell them nicely that 'm going to shut the door now have a good day.
I answered the door naked just once. They never came back after that.
Good ol indecent exposure
oh i never answer the door. for anybody. regardless of religion.
I invite them in, feed them, then send them on their way with a box of food.
They don't come around my neighborhood. Live in a condo.
Be polite. Invite them for a cup of herbal tea.
If I knew who it was Jehovah's, Id answer the door naked.
I am not disrespectful of the the motherfuckers, I just lecture them instead of them lecturing me. I let them know that I am not a stupid fucker and they leave.
Politely ask them to leave. by the way why did you come back here to the UK
Needed a change of scenery.
Really what about the crap weather and how long were you stateside
I'd take crap weather over shitty people any day.
Most of my life I moved to the states when I was about 4
Thanks for sharing and welcome back
I see them on camera and talk to them through the camera and tell them no thank you
I should get a doorbell camera
Yes ma'am it's the best I have vivint there the best they can't even get past my gate to get to my door
I answer the door naked that seems to make them leave.
Don't answer and call/text to warn the neighbours.
Jehovah witnesses are quite pushy. The more missionaries have a great message listen to him see what they have. You don't have to join any church.
i just don't open them, i think that's the best way to shoo them away
Same thing I do when anyone knocks on my door. Hide out in my living room and hope they go away.
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