If Jesus is all I need then why do I still desire a relationship with a woman?

[Anonymous]

Before I got active on this site, I had been really active on several different Christian forums. It made sense for me to on those forums because when I was 6 years old, I had prayed Jesus into my heart. I continue to have a desire to be a follower of Christ, however I also have a desire for a mate. Sometimes I feel like these two desires conflict. I thought that maybe hanging out on some Christian sites would be helpful. But instead they weren't. One of the things they liked to tell me over and over again is "Jesus is all you need". I got sick of reading it. Then one day some older woman really upset me. She commented on one of my posts. I was talking about how I was spending time in a Chatroom trying to find people to talk too. She said, "I don't go to that chatroom anymore." I paused for a bit, and wondered "how does she know what chatroom I was going too? I never shared that information." I made it known that I was wondering if she was tracking me, somehow. Her response was something like "Laughing like a donkey". And then she stated quoting a bunch of scripture to me from the King James Bible! I'm not good at reading old English, but those scriptures didn't seem to fit correctly with the point of the whole conversation. I started wondering if she was a troll, but it appeared that she had a good popular standing with the website.

[NamerOfStars]

Because you're human- and as unpopular a sentiment as it is, that's a good thing. There is, present in every branch of Christianity I've ever encountered, an idea that this world is not merely imperfect, but evil. This isn't a Christian idea; it's a Zarathustran one that somehow slipped in (much like the story of Job), probably from the early conflicts of Christianity and Mithraism.

Earth, no less than Heaven, is a creation of God, just one that we've been placed in charge of. And if we've done a crappy job of stewarding it (which we have, collectively), of caring for this gift, then logically, we should be devoting MORE energy to fixing things, not abandoning them and running away. If God had decided that the universe wasn't worth the trouble and washed His hands of it, we wouldn't still be here.

From a theological viewpoint, perhaps Jesus is all you need, but man on this Earth does NOT live only by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God alone, but by bread. He didn't just preach to the hungry masses; He multiplied the loaves and fish and FED them, body as well as soul. In this world, at least, the kingdom of God isn't found, but built.

Also- for all its faults (like being a half-assed Vulgate translation for people who want to claim legitimacy but in fact lack both the brains to be Orthodox and the guts to be Protestant), the KJV is very much in modern English; Old English is much more like modern German with a dose of old Norse- think Beowulf.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I totally get where you're coming from. Those types of Christians can be super annoying with the "Jesus is all you need" stuff. Like yeah, Jesus is important, but we're also human! We've got biological drives and desires for relationship.

It always irked me how they act like having a desire for a woman somehow means you don't have faith or something. That's such bogus reasoning. Jesus hung out with all sorts of people when he was here - he didn't live like a monk. I'm sure he wants us to find fulfillment in healthy relationships too.

As for that lady, she sounds super sketchy tracking you like that. And spamming Bible verses out of context is such a lame cop-out when you're actually trying to have a real conversation. Clearly she just wanted to judge and shame you instead of understanding where you're coming from.

I'd say don't feel bad about having normal human longings just because some self-righteous "Christians" want to make you feel guilty for it. Keep your faith but also be true to who you are. Maybe try chatting in some less strict groups too where you can just be real about life without so much condemnation. You seem like a good dude - don't let them get you down!

[Unknown8264]

I totally get you. I am muslim and it’s not allowed to have sex without marriage or physical interaction with opposite sex. But sometimes I get these strong urges to want to have sex or for example not wear scarf, maybe try drinking, but I can’t.
It’s very difficult to have these feelings and seeing people like you are doing it. For example, I see some of muslim friends not wearing scarf and I envy them but I know this is all a test and I don’t know when will it end but I just have to be strong

[Anonymous]

Jesus is all you need for a relationship with God, but even Jesus knew we need relationships with other people. Desiring a relationship with a woman is not a bad thing. How else are we to fulfill the command to “Be fruitful and multiply?” Lol. But relationships, especially between a husband and a wife, are also meant to be a reflection of Christ and the Church. Perhaps God is calling you for that specific purpose, and it’s nothing to be ashamed about.

[Asker]

I know all that stuff. But I never know what God is doing. He doesn't tell me even when I'm praying.

[lightbulb27]

Jesus is all you need... to establish your connection with God so that you are loved... You are made whole emotionally... from the fall of man. You are no longer under the curse. I think that's what it means. If all the world dies off, you are ok. If you are on your last breath, you are ok... emotionally as you are not of this world.

Jesus came to give you life, so that you may have it abundantly. That may mean a wife to love, children, sharing your love with others, etc.

Whatever life so inspired. Maybe you just want to be single and serve god... ok then. Or maybe you want to have 10 kids named Mary. Ok as well. He didn't come to block you... just remain open for God to use you for his good, ideally.

Online is a mess, you have to be top notch on your skills to handle it. You might as well assume it's more like walking through the Amazon swamps.

[ChiTown33]

Same reason you know sin is bad. But still, you sin from time to time. God knows what's best for you. He'll put the right woman in your life when you're READY for her. God may know what's best for us. It doesn't mean we don't grow impatient. it doesn't mean we don't try to follow our own plan at times rather than his.

[Asker]

I think it is possible that a woman in my life isn't the best. Maybe it is best to just suffer, so that makes you rely on the lord more.

[ChiTown33]

Or maybe the way to look at it is you're either 1. Just not ready for a woman. Maybe God has a woman in your future that is going to knock your socks off. One that is a near perfect match for you and you for her. And he doesn't want you to mess up both your futures with some other right now. Right now he wants you working on you. Improving you. Growing in your faith. That way when you meet her you're the best version of you.

[LiamJHayden]

Just because someone belongs to a church, it does not mean she is a good or caring Christian.

[LiamJHayden]

As for "Jesus being all" you need, that is true in the context of salvation, But marriage is also called a good thing and there are lots of passages about godly desires.

[Asker]

I understand what your saying about her not being a good or caring Christian. It was on a Christian forum, but still I guess it is the same thing as a Church. I ran into a lot of people on those Christian forums that were not nice to me. It was so strange, it was like they knew scripture good enough to quote it out of context, but not good enough to have a heart, if you know what mean.

[bededazzle]

also if jesus was all people needed there would be no people

[Asker]

@bededazzle I liked what one person at my work said, even Jesus picked 12 friends to travel with.

[bededazzle]

lol good point!

[bededazzle]

look into your heart for the answers. seems to me though that there weren’t too many single men in the bible. god told them to multiply.

[Lara_Croft]

Marriage is a desire that God can and does give, you're not alone in desiring it, it's a gift much as singleness is. Give it to the Lord, if he wills it so shall it be

[strateguy632]

reply to them, "if you are sincere stop eating jeusus is all you need" they are probably catholic pushing their preist ideas so you become a priest so just ignore them.

[SixFootSexy]

Simple: Your biology doesn't agree with your theology.

[Asker]

In Christianity that is always true of everyone. It teaches that we are all born sinners who need Jesus to save us from our sins. Then there is the concept that we have two natures. The spiritual which belongs to Jesus, and our Bodies that are still sinful and dying.

[collie22]

The Bible provides numerous verses that give guidance for married couples, husbands, wives, newlyweds, and engagement. 😊

[Asker]

I know that but it doesn't really answer the question I asked.

[collie22]

The answer is in your bible if you want to read it.

[Asker]

Does an audio bible count? Because I have listened to it nearly everyday since 2007, and I disagree with you, and I think you misunderstand my question.

[Asker]

That kind of answer: "The answer is in your bible if you want to read it." is insulting to me. Anyways, I'm good enough to even formulate the bible so that it appears to recommend against marriage. AND MAYBE IT DOES!

1 Corinthians 7:25-40

Concerning the Unmarried

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

[Asker]

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.[c]

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

[collie22]

I think it's in Paul's teaching but I'm not positive. It go's something think like this. " if you burn with desire it's best to marry" . If I find it ill send it to you. What I understand God wants us to be happy and reproduce. In Gods eyes we are married when we mate. Are you getting you studies from man or from the bible?

[Asker]

Directly from the Bible! And the scripture you want to send to me is: 1 Corinthians 7:9

9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

But if you read on, you will find all the stuff I quoted to you from 1 Corinthians 7:25-40 Which advises us not to marry, because it brings many problems, that Paul wanted to spare us from!

If you want the entire context, you can just click this link:
www.biblegateway.com/.../

If your one of those KJV only people, you can click on this link:
www.biblegateway.com/.../

[collie22]

You could be over thinking it.

[genericname85]

cause "jesus is all you need" is deluded nonsense.

[Asker]

I feel like "Jesus is all you need" is missing something. It is missing the fact that Jesus is apart of the Godhead, and the Godhead designed us to be in relationships. In relationship with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and in relationship with each other, that is the Church. The Godhead also designed marriage, which also goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. Sure, most of us can live as single, but most of us feel like something is missing, which is why most of us want to be with someone too.

[genericname85]

imaginary friends can't replace real friends. that's the thing.

[Asker]

To a believer He is not imaginary, but He's not the same as flesh and blood, someone you can see. So in that sense I agree with you.

[genericname85]

why do you have to "believe" then? if he wasn't imaginary, you could simply know. and if he's not the same as in "flesh and blood, someone you can see", that means he's imaginary.

[Asker]

Jesus was flesh and blood before the resurrection. Now He is flesh and bone. He is in Heaven, and the Holy Spirit replaced him in our hearts. The information gets complicated after that.

[genericname85]

yeah it becomes more complicated the more meaningless vague words you introduce :D

[Asker]

That is some of it, but also people get different religious experiences. That changes the way they read the text.

[genericname85]

words definitions don't change with the experience of the reader. it's childish rhetoric kind of like "i know but i'm not saying". not being hostile towards you. it's just the typical way of arguing speaking. always trying to dodge anything that may force you into a position where you have to show that what you're saying actually has any supstance in the real world.

[genericname85]

that makes me all the more justified in rightfully claiming that it's an imaginary friend.

[Asker]

My grandfather was a drunk, and a chain smoker. He was like this before He got into the army, and He was like this after He got out. He met Jesus, and instantly his addictions were gone!

[genericname85]

what if i told you that religion is his new addiction? that's exactly the problem with people who are prone for addiction. they typically can not stop their addictive behavior. but they can channel it else where. so some people who were addicted to drugs replace their destructive addiction to a constructive addiction. like going to the gym every day, becoming a workerholic (which is litterally work addiction) or religion. it changes nothing about the pathology of their addiction. it just changes the outcome of their addiction for their life.

[genericname85]

please don't understand this as me shitting on your grandfather. addiction is horrible and i respect anyone who manages to turn their addiction into something positive. not everyone manages to do that.

[Asker]

@genericname85 My grandfather died at the age of 90. He was still married to the same woman when He passed. When she was in her 80s, on her deathbed, talking about him, she used these words: "He was a nice man." No matter if you want to believe in God or not, God somehow changed their lives for the better.

[genericname85]

yeah as i said. addiction replacement works. good for him. many people with addiction problems manage to turn their life around by changing their addiction. and you saying that "god" changed his life in my opinion is a huge leap of logic. and on top of that i think it invalidates your grandpas effort. cause it's HIM who managed to turn his own life around. credit where credit is due. i think even if there was a god, the credit for that still goes to your grandpa.

[handsomelad70]

First, Lady Lara, I hope you're as voluptuous as the original.

Second, it's your sexuality, which is yours and your business.

[Anonymous]

Jesus is good for your soul. A woman is good for your heart and your balls.

[DaBiggestBird]

That’s a want, not a need