Search Results: initiating sex

I'm 35 and he's 43. We've been dating for nearly 9 months. My mother thinks we sound more like innocent 14-15 year-olds holding hands and kissing but no one initiates anything, there isn't any passion nor sparks at all. We haven't even seen each other naked either. We had done nothing sexual. Honestly, I don't care too much about the sexual part. I'm more worried about the forming a family part.

We had a woman-to-woman talk and she believes that at some point, it all comes naturally and the man eventually leads (or it comes naturally from me) unless there is something about him I don't know. She thinks the fact that he's waiting that long and ok in a relationship he's not getting anything is rare because very few men will wait that long. She thinks that's part of the reason things are taking longer. She believes some passion will help things, will progress things and form a family.

My father on the other hand is more worried about when we'll form a family already. I'll be honest, I'm with him on this one. I'm worried about that part too.

Be honest, do you find our relationship weird?

Assuming you do not yourself adhere to gender roles. if you do then this question would seem unnecessary and odd 🙏🏼

This is not judgement against anyone’s preferred style of dating. And this is not about trying to change anyone. This would be someone who thinks they want a “fluid roles based on situation & competency not gender, egalitarian relationship’. As apposed to ‘hierarchal or strictly gender role based relationship’

So for example. They do not think they care about gender risks it’s not something something they say or think they are looking for but they have I become I explicably bothered if you’re a girl and you initiate a date or you are a boy and you ask her to take care of the plans.

personally I do not care who does what, I don’t want to control the situation and I do not want to be controlled. In dating like in a relationship I would want a team effort with people playing their strengths which will be unique to each person and hopefully comparable with their partner. I woke it get along with someone who disturbed if there is not behavioral segregation…

However, if someone had unconscious expectations of rigid gender roles, but did not consciously require it, I guess whether I stayed would depend on if they really were ok with things being fluid or only thought they were but deep down they wanted the gender role situation. I guess that’s take a bit of talking and some time to sort out.

I recognize certain traits may be more pronounced in each sex respectively, and I have nothing against anyone doing what they have natural feel for. I’m just not comfortable making an issue out of it and forcing anyone to perform in ways that they don’t gravitate towards naturally just to fulfill the idea that it “should” come naturally.

also I understand my example was heavily cliche’ — this is hypothetical and initiating is a fairly ubiquitous occurrence in dating so it seemed universally comprehensive & relatable. 🤷🏻‍♀️