Search Results: want more than dating

We’re currently in a dating app era & the idea behind dating apps seems practical yet you hear more bad than good things about them. Almost 30 & I’ve never been in a LTR, I have accomplished everything I currently want out of life but been able to find a quality guy. I’ve owned a condo & strive to eventually own a home in a few years, are dating apps to blame behind being single or is there more to it (aka am I the issue)? I’ve been told I’m attractive by all kinds of people for a good chunk of my life but I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (getting checked out doesn’t count).
The only times guys I find attractive have acknowledged me were on dating apps, it’s just there’s times where maybe I feel burnt out & can’t be bothered to end up meeting that guy in person.

Or when I feel like I have *options*/ I’m in a mood where I just don’t want to put in the effort. And when the app outlook looks dismal at a given moment (like now), I consider deleting & reinstalling at a later time. I get bored after communicating too long etc, it may seem like self sabotage topped with my terrible anxiety but I’ve never felt SO unsure about something in my life & that *something* is dating. Unsure if my lack of libido/lack of interest in being sexual might play a part (no health issues). There’s always that voice in the back of my mind that makes me think the right guy will change all of that but who really knows. I’m worried I’ll be shriveled up & when I finally have that drive, it’ll be too late to find a match. I heard an influencer say the other day that there shouldn’t be pressure or a rush to date, it’s an opportunity that’ll always be available.

TL; DR: Is dating hard for most? And is my case bad luck or someone unsure of what she wants?

I met my partner on a dating app back in Nov 2023. We dated long distance (7 hours) until I moved closer to his city in March. We lived together from March to June, and he proposed to me in May. We didn't have many issues. I didn't tell my family about him because I'm South Asian and he's Hispanic, so that would've caused issues (forcing me to go back home).

My school dismissed me in May, so my sister came to move me back unannounced. She told my family he had a human trafficking house because it was in a smaller town with 2 dogs and owned 3 guns. She thought he was dangerous because he showed aggressive behavior, like throwing my suitcase across the room when she was grabbing my belongings to go. But, he and I didn't want to leave, we told her that, she didn't listen, he got mad, and threw the suitcase.

My sister begged me to come home since that was her only job, and my mom wasn't doing good. We all left the next day so he could meet my family, which didn't go well because they thought he was only hyperfocused on taking me back to his house rather than respecting their wish to have a family gathering before I moved back in. I decided to stay home because I saw how my mom needed me, which made my partner mad, and he threatened to end the relationship in front of them, making my family more uncomfortable.

My mom was planning the party yesterday but isn't doing it anymore because my sister started crying again about how crazy he and his home are. He doesn't want to do the party; he's telling me to come to him and forget about them since they're only worried about their happiness and not ours.

I truly don't know what to do. I thought my stay at home would've allowed me not to choose between him and my family, and after their party, everyone could move on with life. Now, my mom is figuring out if police can arrest him since she overheard our conversation about me possibly leaving before the party. I don't want to add more stress/problems to our lives. help.

Alright. I was not going to ask about this bc I really do not think there was any bad intention, on the other hand it’s bothering me so here I go.

I regularly have physical therapy for chronic dizziness. Therapists change every few months. This last one I clicked with immediately. He gives me exercises and answers questions. There is no physical contact.

After my sessions ended, seeing as we get on pretty well & with him being new in the area I invited him out platonically— just me showing him around.

I made it clear I am not interested in dating. He said he travels so he’s not about dating atm, we understand each other. No problems.

Fourth time we met up mind you this was over three months period of time- we weren’t meeting up constantly. It was very late we were listening to street music playing their last song, he moves in (slowly enough for me to stop him - I give him props for that) I stopped him. I asked him ‘you said you wanted to be friends. We both agreed?’ He said he did. He does. He was just feeling very friendly. 👀 👀

I knew he was joking so I laughed but then my mind went back to the issue which was:

1. I do not want to get involved.

2 I thought he didn’t want to get involved.

3 he basically lied to me.

And here’s the thing. He answered me honestly but I now doubt I can trust him.

he said he kind of assumed I was just saying I didn’t want more than friends bc everyone says that (((do they?)) and we get on well so he thought he’d just wait and see.

it doesn’t bother me he turned out to be a bit interested or that he tried to kiss me or even him lying bc he didn’t have an obligation to tell he if he was interested in anything - as long as he accepted I wasn’t.

It is the fact he assumed I was lying and I’m quite tired of people thinking I am playing a game when I’m direct. Even nice people.

He didn’t trust me & I don't know if I can trust him. BUT he did come clean. He could have played it off as a misunderstanding.

What would you do?