Search Results: cheating in a relationship

It's possible to get into a relationship with someone who doesn't know they are a carrier for an STD. When you later develop the STD, that doesn't prove that they cheated on you.

For the past 20 years, every time I concluded a sexual relationship, I got tested for STDs. Fortunately, I was always negative. And I never cheated while in a relationship. If I had developed an STD while in a relationship, I would have likely assumed that my partner cheated on me.

Have you ever contracted an STD from a supposedly monogamous and faithful partner? Did your partner get the STD by cheating on you?

Sometimes, when confronted with unfaithfulness, cheaters will defends themselves by saying

- It only happened once, or

- I was drunk and didn't mean to do it, or

- I didn't plan it. It just happened and I immediately regretted it.

Some people will accept these excuses enough to not immediately end the relationship. It seems that they categorize these scenarios as "not as bad as long term, repeated cheating." Logically, I understand the argument, but. . . to me, any cheating is a reason to immediately end the relationship. Asking about degrees of cheating, or different levels of culpability is like asking, "What's worse? Dying by drowning in the middle of the ocean or dying in a fire?"

For me, the response is simple:

- It only happened once. . . BUT YOU PROMISED IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN, NOT EVEN ONCE!

- I was drunk and didn't mean to do it. . . BUT I'VE GOTTEN DRUNK BEFORE AND NEVER CHEATED ON YOU.

- I didn't plan it. It just happened and I immediately regretted it. . . . NO, IT DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN. YOU MADE DECISIONS AND TOOK ACTIONS THAT MADE IT HAPPEN, AND REGRETTING IT AFTERWARDS DOES NOTHING TO UNDO THE HARM YOU HAVE CAUSED.