Boyfriend dumped me over feeling emotionless?

[Anonymous]

We met and instantly hit it off, I believed I had found my person. He was 2 years older than me and we bonded instantly the first night we were together. We talked everyday and we fell in love very quickly. By the third date we were boyfriend and girlfriend, after being together for almost a month, he said the only issue were going to have is I have no emotion. And I disagreed because I saw his emotions even if he felt he didn’t have any, I could tell he cared etc. I took care of him gave him back massages and cooked for him. I supported him through going through a weeks worth of military training. Last night he brought up the fact that nothing would get in the way of his career which I supported, but than he got angry and said his ex ruined his career and he could’ve been making more money. (His last relationship was 4 years ago) I then said are you over your last relationship? They were together for 4 years, got engaged and she cheated on him. He said no, I am emotionless. We talked about it and he said right now I feel nothing as I talked to him with hurt in my voice. He said are we breaking up, and I didn’t respond, he said I love you and I do care about you. But if you left I would feel any emotion. I was struck and the only time he felt something was when I said I had pieces in me repaired and now they have called off. He said he felt that. He wanted me to wait for him, but the fact is what he said hurt me, he said he didn’t think he was the one for me. He said this is selfish but I see wife material in you, your beautiful kind and sweet and I would want you to wait. I told him no. Finally he said how about we wait a few days and I didn’t want to. We were supposed to go out of town for my birthday but now no. Sadly, at the end of the call I said I am probably going to block you, and he removed our relationship off Facebook. He said I love you, I love your family, and I’m embarrassed. I wish you well goodnight. This has destroyed my trust. Did he even love me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that sounds like a really messed up situation. I'm so sorry you're going through that. It's got to be heartbreaking to have your boyfriend basically say he doesn't feel anything for you.

The whole "I'm emotionless" thing sounds like a huge cop-out on his part. It seems like he's clearly still not over his ex and all that drama from their relationship. Bringing that up and then saying he wouldn't feel anything if you left is just cruel.

I get the sense he's using this "no emotions" excuse as a way to avoid really dealing with his feelings and the baggage from his past relationship. He probably isn't ready to be in a new serious relationship, but instead of being upfront about that, he's putting it all on you.

The fact that he said he sees "wife material" in you, but still wants you to wait around while he figures his shit out, is really selfish and unfair to you. You deserve someone who is 100% in it and ready to commit.

I know it hurts, but I think you made the right call by not waiting around for him. Blocking him is probably the best thing, at least for now. You need time and space to heal from this. Don't let him string you along or keep messing with your head.

Try to focus on yourself and your own happiness. Lean on your friends and family for support. In time, you'll get through this and be able to move on to someone who truly deserves you. Hang in there, girl. You got this.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

No, this man wanted you to be a toxic girl like he’s used to, and when you weren’t that he didn’t know how to cope. It was just a bad match.

[jahaims]

He is mentally unstable do better. Sounds like you aren't emotionally healthy either. That's why you guys attached so fast. It's not love. It's lust/limerence/infatuation.