Search Results: getting the old him back

My husband and I are divorcing after 5 years. 10 years together total. We have a 2 year old together and he doesn’t respect or value our marriage. He has been talking about divorce for a long time now and always try’s to reconcile as I do as well. I thought we were trying to fix things until he asked me for a divorce again. And I found out after he asked for a divorce (2 months prior) he messaged a coworker of mine behind my back flirting and trying to get a quickie out of her. At the time I was in Miami for 3 days having a procedure. When I came back this past October we were trying to get pregnant. Month later he wants a divorce. I also found out he downloaded dating apps on his phone during our marriage. So I’m so hurt that he is telling me now that he feels no connection etc, and is emotionally disconnected. And has been. But why waste my time these past 2 years.. if he could have it in him to get on dating apps and try to have sex with my coworker why did he continue a marriage he had no intention on taking seriously? Even after everything he did I am so hurt and depressed and can’t seem to process even the idea of letting go. Part of me wants to move back home to another state near my family with my toddler (which he agreed to me doing as long as he can have our son in the summers). I just can’t seem to let go, I feel like a failure, I’m still in love, and I’m so scared to just start over again. We moved to Florida away from everyone, built a home, started a life.