Ok so as the title states, he feels that it was wrong of me to ask what time he was going to come back home with our son. I’m a nurse who works 12 hour shifts and usually get out of work around 7:30-7:45 pm. He was still not home with the baby at the time. I simply called to ask when he thought he’d be home since it was almost 8pm already. He responded very rudely saying why do I need to call asking that I’ll be home when I’ll be home saying I had negative energy bc of my issues with my job (mind you I never made any mention of my job to him today during any of our interactions and I actually had a pretty good day at work) and so I did go off at him bc I just could not wrap my head around him responding to me so rudely just for me asking an innocent question. I feel that, as my son, I have every right to ask something like that and to know his whereabouts. Not only that, but my son is only one years old. It’s not like I had been texting him constantly all day- just a few times to see how they were doing and then at night I made a phone call to him bc it was getting a bit late.
Boyfriend keeps saying I’m wrong for…?
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If you guys are separated and this is about custody, you should go to court to get a custody agreement, amend your custody agreement OR fill out a petition for violation of custody. You can tell the judge what time you want, and they’ll work around it.
If you guys are still together… then tell him firmly what you told us. You haven’t messaged him all day, and are just curious when they’ll be home. A baby needs to sleep, and you’re his mother wtf. “I want to know when you’ll be home.” Period. Don’t give any excuses or apologize, tell him you have a right to know.
No, I’m not apologizing- I told him that. It just upset me the fact that he kept trying to make me feel as though I did something wrong for asking that. He said I was rude bc I did not say hello or ask how he was doing. I had been talking to him periodically throughout the day. I just wanted to quickly check in on their whereabouts. He knew he messed up by responding to me with an attitude & wanted to justify his actions with bullshit excuses by saying I was rude first for not asking how he was doing. It was the stupidest counter argument.
i think it helps to change communication from accusations to explaining how things make you feel: “when you call to ask me if i’ll be home i feel like you don’t trust me” or what have you. but i mean, he would have to try this out. the idea though is that if it’s focused on feelings, there is something to understand and compromise about, rather than “you did this wrong”. you are helping each other raise a 1 year old, and you need him to be more of your teammate. the hard part is changing someone else. but you could try this communication style if it helps and try to get it to catch on. i’m sorry you are going through this