Search Results: worrying about my relationship

I am Neurodivergent. For those who need a brief understanding, it's a word to describe people with neurological disorders that changes the way they view, interact, and live in this world and the people in it. Things such as Autism, ADHD, and others are grouped into Neurodivergence.

This world was not built for neurodivergent people. And as a man, I'm not seen as being "manly enough". I'm seen as "too emotional", not stoic enough, worry too much, too weak, seen as lazy for not being able to withstand way more than a typical man can.

This also goes with relationships or finding them. This goes with pre-conceived expectations at work. Out in about in public. Trying to socialize.

People have these expectations and they expect and want me to be like everyone else. They try to "give me advice" on things I'm not doing well enough or demonize me for being different. Both men and women. And I must ask, do I need to? Do I need to fit into these molds made by society for a typical man just because I maybe "high-functioning"? Am I exempt from the standard molds and can just make my own?

So i have learned a lot about something called Attachment theory and i may write a mytake on it sometime. so what the Anxious attachment style is specifically is im the type where when i feel like the other person might be pulling away from me i tend to pursue them even harder because of my anxiety over them possible leaving me. and unfortunately this in turn tends to push them away even more because anxiety tends to kill the other persons attraction in my experience. I'm not acting like my authentic self and instead reacting to my own anxiety. the other person can usually pick up on those vibes easily.

Anyone else the anxious attachment types? or can at least relate to these issues

Here are the Symptoms of anxious attachment style as an adult
"- Adults with an anxious/preoccupied attachment style might think highly of others but often suffer from low self-esteem.

- These individuals are sensitive and attuned to their partners’ needs, but are often insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship.

- If the loved one rejects them or fails to respond to their needs, they might blame themselves or label themselves as not being worthy of love.

- Generally, adults with anxious attachment need constant reassurance that they are loved, worthy, and good enough.

- The strong fear of abandonment might often cause anxious adults to be intensely jealous or suspicious of their partners.

- This fear might also lead them to become desperate, clingy, and preoccupied with their relationships. Adults with an anxious attachment style are often afraid of or even incapable of being alone.

- They seek intimacy and closeness and are highly emotional and dependent on others. The presence of the loved one appears to be a remedy for their strong emotional needs."

Here's a good picture that demonstrates it well

So im trying to find ways of overcoming my anxiety now that i learned this about myself and become more secure.

For some reason the Tinder and Bumble dating apps are barely working out for me. I get matches here and there (on Tinder only, but not so much on Bumble), I almost took my dad's word for it... so I did what he said regarding the pics and I put in the bio that I'm just a chill dude looking for love, looking for a gym partner, and I got around 21 matches total but all of them were either catfishes or real ones reluctant to respond... even though I always wait a day+ to start a chat... so after about four days on Tinder I deleted the account, called my dad, he advised me not to delete it and give up because here's what he said:

that he's watched a show called "love prison" and there are relationships that started after a woman is a week to even two years silent before responding to a text message

I wasn't needy, didn't get too personal, didn't even go with the boring "h-word" greetings as my dad would have suggested I went with, but I asked questions based on bio's and attempted to play emoji character games to determine a movie and etc and still hadn't gotten a response in almost a week or forever really... but that's just Tinder. It's even worse on Bumble, I get a useless catfish match or even hidden likes that I don't even match with and that's with expanding the location to worldwide... I get no likes nearby... and here's the pics my dad suggested using (plus one I decided to use which my dad also liked)

That said I recreated my accounts on dating apps and fared even worse, still got three new-ish matches (still mostly catfish ones) on Tinder but none on Bumble... my dad suggested I wait for as long as possible but for some reason I don't believe my dad when he says that girls wait a year to respond... he said one thing that's true though and that's many girls are looking for a guy like me, I just don't know it yet

but I ended up deleting them again... even as though my dad told me not to worry about the algorithm...