Search Results: attractive qualities in women

Going to be 30 soon & ask myself why I’m incapable of being in a relationship with a man, people can say that I’m picky but I don’t fully believe I should take all the blame. Female friends I’ve had in the past seem to get dates easier/are okay with putting out & some have unintentionally made me second guess my looks, as they seem to have it easier yet other people have told me I’m equally/more attractive than they are. The last time I “dated” someone was when I was in my early twenties & I’m glad that ended because this guy felt like settling. It justifies that love isn’t blind & it’s better to be alone vs being in a mediocre relationship. I know I’m not all that but I feel like I should be able to attract quality men, all my life I feel like I’ve been invisible to men. I’ve never been approached in person by a guy I’d like to date (don’t count dating apps) & the very few times someone told me that a guy found me attractive (normally a guy I also thought was attractive), they never told me directly & it was always word of mouth.

I feel like I am cursed, that last person I saw in my early twenties was through a dating app & that’s how I’ve met all of these men I’ve met up with. The apps are continually getting worse & they’ve always had a bad rep, getting matches are never an issue it just fails to go anywhere for a number of reasons. And sometimes when I’ve met guys in person & it didn’t work out, there’s just something about them that doesn’t live up to my expectations (even though they look like their pics). I’m unsure if my dating logic is unrealistic, dating apps are the only way for me to meet people & don’t understand how I can be this old & haven’t been in love yet.

The last thing I’ll add is my lack of sex drive, masturbation doesn’t do anything for me & I haven’t had sex since I saw that person back in my early twenties. However, it’s known that some women need to be in a healthy relationship in order to have that *sexual desire*.

I was chubby growing up & always assumed losing weight would result in getting more attention from quality guys (not counting the catcalling that happened when I’d go to NY). Now, here I am at almost 30, in a taller/slimmer body (women’s US 10) & I’ve never been approached by a guy I’d actually consider dating. I used to get more attention (but not much compared to other women I knew) but it was usually from questionable guys. And I’m told I’m attractive yet these women I knew would get an abundance of attention from guys. While people told me I was more attractive than these women & these guys that approached them would eventually show they wanted a *good time* a majority of the time, I just never understood why I always seem to be overlooked by guys. On occasion, people would tell me that this & that guy would be looking at me/found me attractive, those were the same guys I found attractive but they NEVER made it known to me directly. I should feel better about myself & while I’ve become more comfortable in my skin over the years, this is truthfully an insecurity that I don’t think I’ll ever completely overcome. Am I just unlucky? Or are most women really that fortunate to have their pick of the litter? I’ve gotten attention from attractive guys on dating apps but it doesn’t hold the same value to me, compared to if those same guys approached me in person. When I say *approached*, I mean in any imaginable scenario: clubs, bars, grocery shopping, coffee shops etc.

As of recently, my popularity has dwindled on the dating apps & I’m unsure of the exact cause. Is it my age? As I look the same & I haven’t moved yet things went downhill a few months ago. I mainly use hinge & noticed this drought on all the other apps too, which makes me even more worried considering it seems to be across all platforms. Because of this, I’ve also been second guessing my decision to brush off the guys that previously showed interest in me. At the time I was somewhat interested in a few but either I wasn’t in the mood/doubtful because of negative dating app experiences I dealt with at that time/was too anxious. I question if I genuinely feel regret because this is a delayed reaction or if I’m reminiscing/liking the idea of them since things aren’t going my way at the moment. How can someone be told they’re “attractive” yet quality guys NEVER show them interest in person? If I got attention from these guys from the apps in person, maybe I wouldn’t be as anxious.

29F & I’ve always had this type of deep rooted anxiety when it comes to relationships, I’ve always been a loner & not the friendliest I suppose, to the point where I’m currently content with online/gamer “friends”. There’s this part of me though, that struggles with knowing I’ll never find romantic love. I’m very sure I’m only romantically attracted to men but in a way, I question at times if I really want to be with one long term. Let’s start with: I’m not very affectionate, I don’t trust easily, I get turned off quickly by “innocent” cocky or conceited banter, I’m very antsy about intimacy & not crazy about sex/masturbation to begin with. These might all seem like cop outs because I truly feel the right person will change how I feel about all these “issues”. As a woman I don’t think it’s that rare to not really have much of a sex drive, I keep hearing stories about other women in the same boat that meet their husbands & realize they weren’t “asexual” after all.