Search Results: commitment issues

I went through this about 10 years ago. My then 25 year old girlfriend made more than me when I was 32. But at the time I was pursuing a dream (I was a professional athlete) and I my time was consumed with training. I was no dead beat but I just had a different focus at the time.

I was doing freelance work just to pay the bills and I was struggling. She even offered me money at one time (which extremely kind of her) but it I turned it down out of pride and went further in debt.

Anyway the insecurity was on my side when it can to this (also contributed to our break up). She didn’t care but I did. It had a lot to with being raised to “be a man” when it came to being a breadwinner.

Nowadays I make a lot more money given I’m retired from my sport and have full focus on my career. But I am also a lot more “boring” now since I’m no longer the free wheeling adventurer I once was.

But money is a touchy issue. Form a evolutionary perspective I really do believe most women still subconsciously expect a man to provide for them even it’s unnecessary or impractical. They might get into short term flings with guys who offer other benefits (looks, excitement, adventurer, personality, etc) but when it comes to long term commitments they have a much higher bar on this

I also believe when a woman makes more money then her boyfriend/husband she’s more prone to cheating. Especially if she is comparable to him when it comes to looks (maybe she will stay loyal if she’s physically unattractive compared to him)

In fact I believe it’s unfairly more socially “acceptable” for a woman to do this given the guy is considered a “chump” if he is financial dependent on her. More more acceptable then vice versa.

I have a divorced uncle who worked a low paying his entire life and was supported by his (comparably) rich wife. She was no multi millionaire but she earned a lot more than him.

She ended up cheating on him the entire marriage. He tolerated it because they had kids and he needed support.

I find myself curious. I don't know the actual statistics and I feel it would be hard to find stats about gossip but I will share my experience.

Personally I find that lots of guys who actually can cheat easily do openly talk about it with their guy friends. I'd say over 50%. Notice I said guys who can, meaning guys who are at least attractive enough to have options. For me personally, the people closest to me are pretty attractive but devoted to their partners, and I absolutely love them too. I feel I am good at surrounding myself with loyal people, but outside of my closest friends and family, this commitment is lacking. I also work in an environment with lots of attractive people, so it is hard for the guys and the girls not to at least take some glances, and I do not see anything wrong with this, but there are definitely plenty of people guys trying or actually cheating on their partner. I have definitely spoken to girls who are like this too, but I am also careful at work when I am talking to a woman because sexual harassment cases have been an issue here. Some have definitely falsely gone in the women's favor due to the nature of our society.