Guys, Why does he miss me but avoids seeing me?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been involved with a guy (he was my first kiss years ago) and we’ve had a deep emotional connection. He has told me he misses me, says he’s broken, has issues with trust and commitment, and has mentioned that he’s seen painful relationships growing up. He opens up, but also ghosts me and seems paranoid at times — like he thinks I’m out to hurt him even though I’ve never done anything.

He spends time with his family and old friends but won’t see me. I sometimes anxiously text him a lot, then unsend things. I want to give him space and do better — but I don’t know if that will help or if he’s just not capable of anything serious.

Has anyone experienced something like this? Is this avoidant behavior? Could things improve if I stop reaching out so much?

[Anonymous]

Honestly sounds like he’s afraid of getting hurt. Sounds like he replay wants to see you but afraid things will get too deep to the point where he thinks you’ll leave him or he’ll back out thinking you’ll hurt him. So to save himself he leaves first, sabotages the relationship to find an excuse to leave. Which I get you say that’s not your plan. But it’s a thought that’s been stuck in his head for whatever reason that may be irrational. So he needs help w that. Some sort of therapy or something. I’m sure he wants someone to really love him, but his intrusive thoughts won’t allow him to pass that barrier. Maybe everyone in his life he cared about left him.