Search Results: the cycle of a relationship

Long story short fighting with boyfriend over his 4-5 day disappearing hanging with other people and chicks, and then when I go anywhere even a gas station for 35 min to an hour hanging out with my friends he gets upset and wants me to break down my reasons well on day 4 I said I didn't want to continue the relationship with how much he takes off never tells me where he's going makes me worry and never replies to me. Never helps at home with the baby.. so I finally say point blank in black and white, WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP? he says he will move out, I'm a fucking bitch, he can't stand me, and he will come pack his stuff.
Later 6 hours later asks if he can come get clothes I say yes. He shows up to sleep and repeat the cycle of taking off once awake. NOW 4 days after finding out his intentions I've tried distancing myself, Detaching etc. And He sparks another argument with me which I say why does it matter that I cooked dinner with my family last night I deserve social interaction too besides just kids all day. He says it's not fair cause he doesn't get to go out. He will count me 1 hour with my family but his 5 to 8 hour hangout at the neighbors wasn't getting out. Then I blow up saying, Were not together so who gives a fuck and he's like oh now we're not together I'm like no we haven't been together since you told me your intentions. I used to love him so much but the controlling behavior only seems to be getting worse. To the point he tells our neighbors he was going to smack the fuck out of me. Like what man does that? If someone told you that they hate you and their intentions were to leave you, then, by all means why does he think we're now working it out? Yea I've been civil. Civilly waiting for him to get his shit and go. Then says he doesn't know what makes me think he didn't want to still be with me? Like I'm more into self love after this experience. I asked point blank his intentions yet I'm the bad person now.

Since 2001 we have been wrestling with men and with boys to talk about his feelings, and don't be a Gorilla and hide them. .. we went out to schools, Summer camps, hosted events catered to young men all around America since 1998-2001 encouraging them show more emotion and be open about how they feel. And have emotional intelligence.

This is what we've come to Avoid and overlook.

here is a case study

Brian is often told to express his emotional side and show emotions however his father takes a bwlt a whips him and Sister tells him"you're a boy! You must remember that!" His mother scolds him for crying or showing any emotions that people encourage Brian to show..



This heartbreaking case study illustrates the stark contrast between societal expectations and harsh home realities.
Brian's Dilemma:
Encouraged by outsiders to express emotions → Contradicted by family members who punish/emotionally abuse him for doing so.
Consequences:
Emotional confusion
Fear of expression
Internalized shame
Difficulty forming healthy relationships
Systemic Issues:
Intergenerational trauma (father's behavior likely learned from his own upbringing)

Lack of emotional support and validation
Impact on Brian:
Emotional numbing
Decreased self-esteem
Increased stress and anxiety
Potential long-term mental health issues (depression, anxiety disorders)
Break the Cycle:
Safe, supportive therapy for Brian and his family.
Educate parents/guardians on emotional intelligence and healthy expression.
Address intergenerational trauma through family therapy.
Encourage positive male role models and mentors.
Resources:
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233)
Childhelp (1-800-422-4453)
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline (1-800-950-6264)

Key Takeaway:
Societal encouragement of emotional expression must be matched by safe, supportive home environments. We must address systemic issues and provide resources for families to break cycles of trauma.