How do I stop snooping on my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating an amazing guy for 6 months, and he’s super honest and upfront about everything. He’s even given me his passwords and phone access, but I still check his stuff out of habit from my last relationship where I was constantly lied to and cheated on. It feels like an addiction at this point. How can I break this cycle before it ruins what we have?

[ohsheeT]

Acknowledge who he is understand who he is are you bored I mean you can only Snoop so far and if it's already not out there in the open then you're just looking to find something to b**** about you're looking to create drama because somewhere you're not happy

And if you have to do that you might as well just leave the relationship because who would do that

I mean can you be trusted is that why you do what you do because you can't be trusted now you're going to read this and I'm going to say the 100% honest you don't have to say it out loud to us but say it to yourself and beat 100% honest you need to be 100% honest with yourself anyway because what you're going to do is ruin a good thing maybe that's what you're doing maybe that's what you want to do maybe you want to sabotage everything so you can have a 404 pitiful me party

I look when people have it good they can't accept it they need to drama they need to be a center of attention with their drama instead of just being happy

[D_Bone_Steak]

I don't know... every chick I've ran into that is locked into snooping tends to be the one with cheating on her mind. Like a guilty conscious mind that projects it out onto the one they're thinking about cheating on... so for that reason I view your behavior as a red flag. But you did give your reason and sorry you got cheated on like that... let me talk about that with you though...

When did finding evidence of cheating really help you? If you're not ready to just leave the relationship, it's not going to do anything for you. You're torturing yourself basically over something you probably not even find... like a big waste of time.

Also, I really relate to you because I was with this chick, that I'm pretty damn sure she cheated a lot. I mean that bitch gave me a STD (chlamydia), and mysteriously had the medicine for me once she was sure that's what I had. She got it from planned parenthood. She swore up and down she didn't cheat, but the maximum incubation period of that is 3 months and I wasn't cheating... it came from somewhere! I should've just left but I just ended up becoming a damn detective looking for evidence. The moral of my story you should take... if you feel like he's cheating that bad, it's best to just leave the relationship. Don't torture yourself. by the way, I did eventually catch her cheating and she admitted to other cheating... but not that one... the one where chlamydia magically appears from nowhere after years of being together. Just wouldn't admit to that one except for her saying "It was probably that Mexican guy" once when she was drunk.

In conclusion... you should enjoy your relationship instead of torturing yourself.

[Screenwriter]

See a counselor or therapist and stop invading this man's privacy. Every man is not the man who cheated on you. Don't guilt someone because you were hurt before.

And get help with this from a professional. Good l uck.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, my dear love detective! Sounds like you’ve got that snooping habit sticking to you like gum to a shoe. 😅 It's amazing that your guy is open and honest, showing some green flags there! To kick the snooping habit, you might want to focus on strengthening trust and communication. Start by openly sharing your past experiences and insecurities with him – vulnerability can build connection. Trust yourself and know that you've got a catch who’s all about transparency. Enjoy those love vibes without the peeking! 🌟

[Finchie40]

Just force yourself to stop , if you can’t trust your boyfriend you will never be happy in a relationship period , you will just be wasting your time and his if you can’t feel at peace in your relationship. Are you sure you aren’t the one that has been up to no good? Usually cheaters project their insecurities onto their partners’ by blaming them for things that you do behind their back. So it sounds to me your boyfriend is a good guy by being open and honest with you but sadly it doesn’t sound like you do the same for him

[HawkPerception]

Look I don't mean to be rude, but snooping is pathetic benhaviour. And there's no trick to stopping. You just stop using your own conscious.

If he's given you no reason to doubt him, then stop the nonsense. Grow up. Not every guy is like the guys in your past.

[Purpleronnie]

How can I make this really clear and concise in the politest way possible.


You have a problem and if you don’t find some way of stopping this personally and relationship damaging behavior your going to loose him and that WILL be on you ! Many guys or even Most ! would be nowhere near as open , forgiving and supportive and let’s be completely honest NOBODY NEEDS TO BE !


You could start with being half as open with him , confessing the full extent of your behavior and your thought process. Do some soul searching as to why you do this and start challenging your thoughts. Obsessive / compulsive behaviors , coping mechanisms and anxiety are all treated by this cognitive tool.


Challenge the thoughts & behaviors and change them and take back control of yourself and set some boundaries.


Consider therapy !

[ephedrine]

Girl, if you're still snooping, you're sabotaging your own relationship. He's being upfront and honest, but you're letting your past trauma control your present. It's like you're addicted to drama. The truth is, you need to break that cycle and trust him or it's going to ruin everything. You can’t keep checking his stuff and expect things to go smoothly. If you keep bringing past baggage into this relationship, it’ll never grow. Time to let go and trust what’s in front of you.

[Asker]

thanks

[AManOnTheWeb]

Put a dollar (or 5) in a jar every time you check. Then use that money to pay someone to kick you in the ass and have them tell you to stop trying to sabotage your relationship. Alternatively, I guess you could spend it on him to do something nice for him.

[david]

Trust should be built without carrying the wounds of the past. Your boyfriend is honest, open, and trusts you don’t waste that. Just because you were cheated on before doesn’t mean you should punish someone who’s being genuine. Snooping feels like an addiction, but ask yourself, “Do I really need to do this?” every time. Instead, focus on strengthening trust through open communication. If you don’t let go of the past, you might ruin your future.

[Anonymous]

Giving passwords is too much... you can totally invade his privacy and log into everything he has whenever you want. Can he do that to you? Most guys won't put up with this crap. If you keep at it you will ruin the relationship. He will get annoyed that he's not earning your trust despite doing everything right. You will break him down and he will give up.

[eniqma]

Girl, you’re doing yourself dirty! Your new boyfriend is honest, open, and trusts you, but you’re still on high alert because of your past. Stop testing him for something he hasn’t done. When you feel the urge to snoop, ask yourself, “Am I actually hoping to find something bad?” Trust isn’t built by constantly looking for proof it grows over time. If you keep carrying past paranoia, you’ll end up poisoning your relationship. Breathe, let go, and enjoy what you have.

[Asker]

This is a really good reminder, thank you! Instead of living in the shadow of the past, I should appreciate what I have now. Trust is built over time, you're right. I'll keep that in mind

[Nikki1989]

I know from first hard experience, it is difficult to trust any man, but explain to your partner about your experiences and the struggle you're facing with trust.

[lightbulb27]

What a great guy to be mature, understsnd your wounds and hinour you.
Write doen every day how you feel about trust and decelop a pattern of trust as you pray and meditate to heal your wounds.

[magiusX26]

either trust him or leave. being like that is poisonous to a relationship (lack of trust) . it is onvious you are still not over your last relationship so should not have entered a new one till you were over it.

[MotherEarth2020]

He is just feeding your spying and snooping. Start with having trust and leave jealously at the door

[TheSpaceGnome]

You have to be vulnerable and believe him to find out if he is trustworthy, until you do that, and see the outcome, you will never fully trust him, and so you won't feel loved.

[WhitneySnow]

Trust him. Dont listen to the voices in your head that say he’s going to hurt you.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Imagine how he must feel. Never being trusted. Subconsciously being prejudged and accused of being unfaithful. That should do the trick.

[HungTexan]

I’d suggest y’all just need to tuck every free minute. I time tir cheating or snooping.

[genericname85]

what do you mean "how"? you just don't do it. it's not complicated. if you don't want to do it, just don't.

[Yohenis]

You cannot stop it and in the end you'll ruin your relationship. If you really love him and want to be with him you'll never look into his phone starting from today

[Phoenix98]

Learn to trust him start small and work your way up.

[Surely]

If you trust him as much as you say. Just stop 🛑! Can you be trusted if you don’t trust your current boyfriend?

[Massageman]

See Bob Newhart's sketch on "stop it".

[dragoblack]

By telling yourself "no" when you get the impulse. Start to meditate over those thoughts and tell yourself this isn't your past relationships.

[beefcakebradybatson]

Remember he's an adult as you are, and if you have suspicions about his fidelity, speak to him, girlfriend to boyfriend.

[LiamJHayden]

You just stop. If you don't you might drive the new, honest guy away.

[jahaims]

You can't trust anyone because you don't trust yourself

[Nothingfree]

If u can’t trust someone it’s no point of dealing with them

[In_Trance]

I think you need to take time for yourself and find a good therapist

[foxsquirrell]

Talk to a relationship councilor for some professional help on these matters.

[Connie88]

Maybe you're doing or done something you're projecting or guilt.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

If you really feel that way why are you acting like you do not?

[Anonymous]

Once bitten twice shy

What's wrong with being a little distrustful?

[Staximus]

Just stop doing it or get off the meth

[Anonymous]

Break up with him.

[KrakenAttackin]

You are a mess.

[Anonymous]

Girls like u are weird asf