Search Results: the first step

In January 2025 I was chatting to a man briefly on an app. I liked him and he suggested meeting up. Things were going fine, we talked about expectations etc. prior to meeting. He also mentioned that he’d had a stillborn baby in his last relationship. It left me speechless but I offered a lot of empathy. After that admission, he retreated a few days later and said he didn’t see us going anywhere, which contradicted everything we’d chatted about and our similar values.

Fast forward to September, he reached out again and we ended up chatting for a couple of months every day. He arranged a date with me. The pace was slower this time, we didn’t jump right into talking about the serious stuff. Consistency was there, he was incredibly kind. We met for the first date and it was nice. We laughed, he told me a little more about what he’s been through (loss of brother, rehab, stillborn baby, loss of partner, rehab and then turning his life around). We made physical contact and hugged and he told me I looked lovely. He arranged a second date before the first ended and I met him again. We chatted a bit more, not too much in-depth but enough for me to know he liked me. We admitted we liked and were attracted to each other. We hugged again and before that date was over he arranged the third. We met for our third and went to the cinema. When he said goodbye I could feel more closeness in his hug and goodbye. This time he never arranged a fourth date.

I noticed more intimacy in his replies after this date and he said he hadn’t been sure whether to kiss me. I said I was happy for that to unfold naturally. But after the kiss question? I noticed a slight stall, things weren’t moving. When I asked if he still had time for dating, he deflected the question back to me and side-stepped. Basically saying we’d been busy and that distance doesn’t help along with us not being ‘excited’ to talk to each other. A bizarre reply, because it contradicted his actions completely.

I don't have much hope for the future anymore, it feels all very bleak. I don't know if there's really a point in working hard, studying or even expecting to have a half decent future, because ai will replace almost all of us unless the tech ceos and the government wants to step in, which they won't with how they are. there's a big chance we'll all be dirt poor living horrible lives, in technofeudalist ultra conservative dictatorships, in the not all that distant future, if WW3 doesn't kill us first. the risk feels more imminent than ever. then there's climate change, and if we're dirt poor and abandonned by our governments, we're even more fucked. life will be horrible for men who aren't ultra rich already, but for women it will be even worse since i'm like 75% sure with the heritage foundation in power with their projects, and the massive brainwashing of gen z & alpha boys/men, women will be stripped of their rights completely and all the western world will follow. so i don't know if there's a point in sticking around, if on top of everything i'm going to end up as some slave to some guy who hates me.

i've always known govs were corrupted and there's lots of hidden evil in this world, but now it's so naked and blatant. everyone is becoming crazy, and we're all getting so extreme politically. i also feel like i feel this world is being operated increasingly by evil rich people who hate us and want to do everything that makes them more powerful and rich at our expense, and there's nothing we can do.

I think we're all living in the very end of an era; of peace in the west, freedom, high living standards, abundance, and human rights. I think soon, we'll be living in a horrible dystopian world none of us ever thought we'd know.

i sometimes wonder if living is worth it, if we'll all be miserable soon without escape