Search Results: love or money marriage

I actually felt sad for this infidelity story I've once read at Reddit. It was written 2 years ago. The woman was 39 (she must be 41 by now) and her now husband cheated on her with a co-worker. He spent some of his wife's money on the affair and took her homemade meals and desserts to secretly feed the other woman. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 kids. He ended up having a mid-life crisis and supposedly wanted to see what it was like having sex with another woman, even briefly fell in love with the other woman. She forgives and agrees to marriage counseling. She felt she owed him one and clearly wants to save the marriage.

Flashback to 2002 when they were just boyfriend and girlfriend:

When the woman was much younger (then 19 years old), she cheated on her then boyfriend (now husband) with his best friend Tony. He caught her in a compromised position, both asleep in the couch with the TV running on. Supposedly the guy was in boxers and she was with jeans on but only with bra on top. Apparently they had already finished doing the deed by then and there was alcohol. It was an affair going on for 3 months. She's been repentant for all those years, never cheated again and was faithful as a fiancee and wife. She got forgiven and (yes he still proposed 5 years after the cheating incident, claiming he forgave her completely and wouldn't bring it anymore) they still got married.

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

On the woman's previous post, she actually is full of guilt all over again and feels she deserved it. Did she deserved to get cheated on 20 years later? She cheated in 2002 as a 19 year-old girlfriend with no kids. He cheated as a 40 year-old married man with 3 children?

Both involved a cruel person stealing someone's market value. Men and women are obviously valued differently. When it comes to love and relationships or marriage, what's worse?

- A man that promises the world and purposely wastes the woman's time and years. Then when she gets to a certain age, she gets ditched for someone younger. Not only she doesn't get those years back but she's depressed about possibly not being able to have kids anymore. The guy destroyed her years and her motherhood. We are afterall valued for our youth and fertility. Men don't care too much about our careers.

- A golddigger makes it harder for the rest of us to find a good family-oriented man. She uses him with charm but somehow he doesn't realize what she really is like. She got what she wanted and then wants to ditch him for no reason (just that she got bored, that's it), just for monetary incentive. She gets half of what poor man's hard work, destroying his market value he worked hard for.

I really sympathize with both cases. No one deserves getting their market value destroyed by cruel narcissists. Though personally I think the first case is worse. Money can eventually be earned back even if it takes years or longer. However, once we can't have babies anymore, that's not ever gained back, literally never. If our motherhood is taken away, it's forever gone. Money isn't forever gone.

I've read this infidelity story before. I'll refer the names as Jane and Tom.

Jane was 19 and Tom was 20 at the time. They've been dating for 8 months or so when she got caught cheating. She cheated with Tom's good friend. Both got caught falling alseep in Tom's house, on his couch in a compromised position with the TV still running, an empty bottle of rum and empty snack bags. They had already finished the deed when Tom arrived. His friend was only in boxers and she dressed up with jeans but only had bra. Alcohol was involved and the cheating went on for nearly 3 months.

Tom somehow forgives that, reconciles and still marries her 5 years later. Jane changed for the better though, by her own admission never cheated again. Then 15 years into their marriage (and 20 years since her cheating took place) and with 3 kids, Tom begins coming home drunk and cheats for other reasons; midlife crisis. Tom briefly fell in love with the other woman, stole some of his wife's money to spend it on his affair, secretly gave his wife's meals to the other woman and was thinking about setting up a trip to France just to be with her for a bit, away from responsiblities, away from the kids, out of reality. Their ages by then are 39 and 40.