Search Results: not as much sex

So last night I met up with boyfriend, we were supposed to spend the night & Saturday morning / evening together.

Unfortunately my brother (paramedic) got called into work & he was supposed to help our father with an appointment on Saturday morning. Dad is disabled so us kids take turns on who goes with him to appointments as we're both in the medical profession.

I told my boyfriend this & apologized a number of times for the short notice. I told him you know I'd have to not stay the night but we can continue on with the rest of the plan for Saturday.

Anyway come the morning he's left where he was (he comes from another city, was at a hotel). He didn't even bother telling me he was leaving or saying goodbye. I only learnt about it by asking what was he doing & a text back of "driving".

He said he was annoyed & had woken up at 4am with "nothing to do", etc. Honestly, in all the back & forth, it seems all he cares for is the sex (why else leave)

Yes I get it but honestly it was a minor situation on my side. It's not like I waited until he was asleep after having sex & walked out on him... he knew why I left and had been okay with it that evening (he'd agreed to Saturday).

.

I won't be involved with him much beyond this. I am not someone who takes kindly to emotional manipulation / abuse which, in many ways, his antics are.

I’m starting to realize that maybe men just don’t like me, I’m going to be 30 soon & never been in a proper relationship. I don’t want kids at least but I really don’t think I’m unattractive, I have self esteem issues so my opinion changes. But I’ve been on the dating apps for years on and off, my interest in them just became lesser over the years. Getting matches are never the issue it’s just it working out, always ghosting, fizzling out, etc. I’m told I’m cute/attractive, I never get asked out by guys in person, I can confidently say I’ve never been approached by a guy I found physically attractive. Back when I was 23 I dated someone briefly & I felt so offended by only being able to attract him it felt like settling I couldn’t be with him, I’ve been alone this whole time that shows you how men feel about me. When I was younger and around people my age more often I was told these guys found me attractive but they never did anything about it. The fact that beautiful people are always taken it makes me realize I’m maybe just not good enough. Isn’t it strange being as old as I am & still not meeting someone that I actually like? I’m not asking for a lot: good looks, taller than me (doesn’t have to be 6+ ft), educated, good sense of humor, not a cheater etc. I feel like I’ve genuinely become less interested in dating with my experience, I have a lower than average sex drive too I think