Search Results: not interested in sex

You know when you have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it. And I don’t either hence why I’m posting this 🤷🏻‍♀️

TLDR: based off the description, is this something that’s unlucky in love?

So I thought it was legit love. He talked of a future, etc. I didn't know he had visa issues till recently. Months after a bit of an issue between us.

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But when I asked for more than just meeting up to have sex he proceeded to.

He suggested we'd go to a movie & then went to his friend's birthday party without telling me. The day prior he'd suggested we'd do something that afternoon.

I ONLY got distressed / upset and maybe said things bluntly when it very much seemed he was only interested in sex. He was saying he wanted a future & yet his actions did not imply he was interested in anything other than sex.

Once he'd implied & once he said we'd do more - both times he bailed without telling me.

Since then his communication has been terrible at best and whenever he does communicate it's angry - because his visa issue is causing stress though I didn't know about this till recent. Or it's to either indirectly or directly in a way blame me for damaging our relationship when for weeks I'd been trying to mend things and he doesn't do jackshit (even text morning).

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The stupid thing is, is still do love him and yet it's like.

Even if he wasn't having an issue with visa his persona is not what he displayed at the start. It's actually sort of mean-spirited.

28F, I’m leaning towards bad luck. I’m very introverted & not the friendliest but I don’t think I’m intimidating. I’m told I’m cute/attractive, it’s not like I’m a runway model yet guys just never approach me. I’m told guys look at me but they never do anything about it & I’m too shy. I know there’s nothing wrong with me, most women seem to get guys so easily. That’s why I’ve been on and off the apps since I was maybe 18, getting matches has never been a prob. Convo always fades, ghosting, lack of interest (goes both ways) & some guys who are crazy. I’ve tried a lot of them, usually I stick with Hinge. It’s always a pattern of the guys I want who don’t want me back & the ones that want me I don’t like back. For maybe the past year I’ve become less and less interested, I reply to matches/msgs every couple of days? Even when I was more engaged it still led to the same pattern of no success. A few people have said maybe I’m asexual (haven’t had sex or masturbated in years), assume I’m gay or I’m unsure of what I want. Maybe they’re all wrong & simply I haven’t found the right person? I dated someone for a few months back when I was 23 & after dealing with someone I felt like I settled for, I decided I’d rather be alone vs be with someone I am not crazy for. I’m kind of at the point where I’m apathetic & I just feel too old to be bothered.