Search Results: do people really change

So here's a little riddle. Why, after I leave restaurants, do my pants almost always smell like perfume? Do you know? 'Cause I don't. (But I have a guess.)

I go out to restaurants, and I would say easily eight times out of ten, when I get home, change my clothes, and decide whether they are going to get temporarily aired out (I hang my clothes on a drying rack when I get home) and then later re-hung or folded to wear again, or put in the laundry hamper, I notice that my pants always pick up the smells of what was on the fabric seats or booth benches. Yeah, it's gross. It's always only on the... ass, the seat. Sorry if that's a bit TMI, but there ya go.

Do you ever notice this, smell this? Wanna' play a fun/not so fun game? Smell your pants when you get home. (Almost all my pants end up in the hamper, even if I only wore them for a couple of hours that evening at the restaurant and that's it.)

If it's a cheap place, it might smell like fried food (it's the oils that are so potent.) That's gross, but it makes sense.

If it's a nicer place, it'll smell like women's perfume, and occasionally men's cologne.

Have you seen anyone else spray themselves at a table? Do you do this? Or do the people you dine with do this? I really want to know what y'all are doing out there.

And no, it is not cleaner that the restaurant uses. It's definitely perfume. And it sticks in clothing because of the oils in perfumes, as opposed to disinfectants, body washes, etc.

I'm leaving the Anon option on this one, 'cause I really want your honest answers, thanks!

Background

A few people in my closer relative are diagnosed with personality disorders that are connected to lack of empathy. So now keep that in mind.

My morals:

I strongly believe hurting others is wrong. And I am for punnishing people who do that. I do not believe people change. And I have no empathy for people who do evil actions even if they are trying to change. That's why I'm afraid if I have kids I'd murder them or something if they did something really wrong..

With that being said I only judge people for their actions the same I would judge cancer. I see no difference in a grown person raping a child being killed and someone killing cancer.. they are both alive stuff that do harm.

My traits:

I never felt like I was human.. I mean I feel more like I'm just taking space in a room.. like a gas. I never felt the need to have a partner because I can always hire a cleaner/chef etc.. I believe human kind are evil as a base and everyone are secretly out to get me in the end.

I tend to laugh if someone dies.. in joyful way. Although I cognitivly understand it's horrible and I cognitivly feel bad for that person and their family I never expeience it emotionally. Same way I can be cognitivly stressed but not emotionally..

I can turn on and off my empathy however I want.. and whenever I want. If I focus on my cognitive empathy enough my emotional empathy can grow..

Also one of my parents told me as a toddler I would never cry when they left for work... I don't know if that means anything.

I think I have a very strong cognitive empathy (more than the avarage person) but almost no emotional empathy.. unless I turn it on.

Disclaimer!

I do want to meet the one for me and have kids in the future (problaby). I dont really see the point of life other than success and proving people wrong. That's why I think I be the type to end it all once I reach what I want. But I'm not depressed I just see everything neutral..

Assuming you do not yourself adhere to gender roles. if you do then this question would seem unnecessary and odd 🙏🏼

This is not judgement against anyone’s preferred style of dating. And this is not about trying to change anyone. This would be someone who thinks they want a “fluid roles based on situation & competency not gender, egalitarian relationship’. As apposed to ‘hierarchal or strictly gender role based relationship’

So for example. They do not think they care about gender risks it’s not something something they say or think they are looking for but they have I become I explicably bothered if you’re a girl and you initiate a date or you are a boy and you ask her to take care of the plans.

personally I do not care who does what, I don’t want to control the situation and I do not want to be controlled. In dating like in a relationship I would want a team effort with people playing their strengths which will be unique to each person and hopefully comparable with their partner. I woke it get along with someone who disturbed if there is not behavioral segregation…

However, if someone had unconscious expectations of rigid gender roles, but did not consciously require it, I guess whether I stayed would depend on if they really were ok with things being fluid or only thought they were but deep down they wanted the gender role situation. I guess that’s take a bit of talking and some time to sort out.

I recognize certain traits may be more pronounced in each sex respectively, and I have nothing against anyone doing what they have natural feel for. I’m just not comfortable making an issue out of it and forcing anyone to perform in ways that they don’t gravitate towards naturally just to fulfill the idea that it “should” come naturally.

also I understand my example was heavily cliche’ — this is hypothetical and initiating is a fairly ubiquitous occurrence in dating so it seemed universally comprehensive & relatable. 🤷🏻‍♀️