Search Results: what does sex feel like

I felt like I had a strong connection with him because me and him would literally agree on everything and I felt like we were almost the same person with very similar points of view on everything, I should’ve seen that as a bit of a red flag too tbh. And the fact we are both autistic, and had very similar special interests.
Everyone says how amazing he is, but he’s leading me on (because I really really fancied him and he could tell), used me for sex once, then gaslights and manipulated me. All his answers are always vague. It’s like he’s either very blunt and cutting… or extremely vague and won’t give a direct answer. Also during sex he refused to use lube or condoms and I stupidly went with it, I’m worried he might’ve possibly done that to give me an sti (but he seemed pretty clean down there). He was also very selfish and I was on top the entire time. The afterwards he says he feels bad and that he’s crossed the line and that we both need to put a line there and not cross it again… but the next lesson starts flirting with me again… then I told him that I won’t be getting lessons for a while because I need to focus on coursework… so I’ve left it at that.
The whole time I felt like I was nothing to him, even though I was giving him everything pretty much and I was feeding his ego.
strange thing is, he got divorced AND left the Uni job (he taught me at uni too) at the same time and said it’s because the principle offered him no work after an argument happened and put it down to the principle being petty. He also said how he has a terrible temper and got a disciplinary after bursting into a rage at another staff member… so this is really suspicious. I also felt like he was opening up to me by telling me all this stuff… but really I was paying for lessons and he was using me as a therapist or thought he could take advantage. Also he’s very good at what he does, but seems to over inflate it and lies about how many gigs he’s done etc.

I’m just wondering whether I should get over this guy. But I have very strong feelings for him, so it’s very difficult. I get the feeling that he doesn’t want to pursue or just isn’t pursuing for whatever reason.

He’s my guitar teacher and taught me a bit at uni… we had sex 2 weeks ago and then afterwards he said he feels bad and like he crossed a line and said he didn’t want to cross it again. But he still blushes around me, looks at my chest and goes red in the face and giggles/chuckles then looks down, and seems a bit flirty still. He did seem very surprised that I had sex with him. He was like “omg kez!” When I went to suck his dick that time.

Why was it okay for him to disrespect my boundaries regarding sex… to make someone feel safe in the beginning just to be hurtful and bring up things that I didn’t want

I feel triggered by his actions because of things that happened in my past and my attachment issue… is that his issue entirely? No.. but what he did still felt so predatory and hurtful

He’s bold enough to do what he did why can’t he be bold enough to tell me he’s bi or that he’s into trans

Why isn’t he bold enough to go with his true attraction… he’s bold enough to hurt me why can’t I hurt him back?

He’s bold enough to insult me and say “ does your dad know that you post those pics “ then maybe I should be bold too and let his dad know what he likes?

He ruined my life and everything I worked so hard for because he couldn’t respect my boundaries and tried manipulation/ coercive methods to get what he wants. It’s not okay. It’s triggering and I hate that I’m still hanging on after a year feeling hurt and worthless

To be straight up and tell him I’m protecting my emotional and mental well being and wasn’t ready for anything and he pretended to care.. it’s wild