Am I wrong for outing a man on social media who did me wrong?

[Anonymous]

I have a lot of hate in my heart for him for so many reasons… one … not telling me that he’s bisexual upon wanting to be intimate

2. Lying to me and saying that he wanted something serious when he indeed just wanted to hit after making me feel safe and told me things I wanted to hear

3. Using my vulnerabilities against me (that’s my fault) I should have never told him that I was protecting my emotional and mental wellbeing.

4. Disrespecting my boundaries after telling him that I’m not looking for sex or a relationship

5. Disrespected me on our “date” by saying insulting things regarding my mental health and my pics.

6. Ghosting me… only reaching out after pleading with him and telling him that he was weighing on my mental health… I felt humiliated and wish I never told my family about him

I went great lengths trying to expose this gay a$$ predator. Tagging his friends that I don’t know with him included… he does not give af… it’s affecting my life tremendously.. bc I could get in trouble for slander but I’ve come not to care or hold back.

[Finchie40]

Yes, because it’s wasted energy and time , by you doing that , just made yourself look just as bad as he is , the best thing to do is walk away and ignore someone that did you wrong , Silence and not giving a fuck is the best revenge

[Asker]

BUT TO WANT TO SLEEP WITH ME AND NOT TELL ME he's ATTRACTED TO OR SLEEPS WITH TRANS WOMEN

[Finchie40]

How do you know he sleeps with Trans women?

[Asker]

So on his dating profile I had switched my account to non binary and his profile came up…

He also follows trans women on twitter and he follows a trans woman escort who lives in our same city… he seems to be sexually attracted to trans women…I do believe he’s slept with them

He’s also lived in Atlanta…

There’s just a lot of signs I missed saying that he’s bisexual

[Asker]

ibb. co/cgLP6FX
ibb. co/R6Hhv7r
ibb. co/rt3Fc0w

[Asker]

https://ibb.co/dMHBJPx
https://ibb.co/LCSrJpP
https://ibb.co/LnWyX7Z
https://ibb.co/FhS8CG5
https://ibb.co/fGNXr4s

[Finchie40]

Is that the ones he follows

[Asker]

He follows 2 of them… the darker complexion trans woman is the one who lives in our city

[Asker]

He follows the white one

[Asker]

He follows the white one too.. then the other ones are just related content of pages he interacts with

[Finchie40]

He is definitely bi , but that doesn’t mean he is cheating on you

[Asker]

We aren’t in a relationship

[OlofssonBengtsson]

No most women blame men for all their problems. It's a normal thing nowadays.

[Asker]

I’m not blaming him but what he did was wrong and hurtful

[chilldude33]

It sounded like a lot to deal with until the last point... You were guilt-tripping him with your mental health to reach out to you? Both are in the wrong if that's the case.

[Asker]

True… but I wasn’t guilt tripping him.. I really had a delayed reaction to his behavior.. I was so blinded by it because I thought he was genuine and liked me.. it genuinely hurt! I just wanted to talk to him and I repeatedly asked him if I did something wrong … it was genuinely weighing on my mental health… because it WAS! I was so depressed.. even now.. it’s still hard for me to accept all of this…

It’s one thing to be in the closet but to not care about me and try to play me… then vanish. He deserved it

He’s 37 so I definitely thought he was serious about wanting a relationship

[chilldude33]

It sounds like you have some needs that are crazy unmet and you're desperately trying to grasp for the outside world to meet them. It ain't gonna work like that. That's all the "mental health" is - just needs being met or unmet. But it has to come from within first. Fill your own cup and all that.

You need to ask yourself what those needs are. So if we go off of this situation here where you're desperate for this guy. Let's explore what kind of needs are you trying to meet through this situation. Let's say that you want to feel loved, cared for, validated, secure.

Now you are going to play with
"How would I be acting if I was feeling loved right now?" (Not by anyone in particular, but a general feeling.)
"How would I be acting if I was cared for right now?"
"How would I be acting if I was validated right now?"
"How would I be acting if I was secure right now?"

Do that from time to time, and I doubt you would be doing anything you've just described. Good luck on your mental health journey. ❤️

[Asker]

You’re totally right… I am hurt and I do have unmet needs that I’ve had from childhood …

He offered me something I always wanted and needed.. safety, emotionally level headed …. Everything I wanted in a man…

I told him I wasn’t ready for anything and I had walls built up…

[chilldude33]

We all have unmet needs. It's important to explore what they are and question why are you drawn to the things that you are drawn to from the perspective of needs.

If we meet those needs from within, we can be set totally free. We wouldn't need to grasp for things from the world, and instead it's a full creative and self-expression mode. We wouldn't try to take things from the world and instead we could create and put out things into the world according to our vision.

[jahaims]

Waste of energy