Search Results: emotion and dating

There have been a few times in my life where I dated women who had “school girl” crushes on me. However they later quickly bailed when they got to know the real me.

I am not a psycho or anything. I am definitely a deep thinker and can be sensitive about things. I got some depression but I’ve always been independent both financially and emotionally. I get support from friends but I know it’s ultimately up to me to fix my own issues.

Anyway I’ve improved on how showed my lesser sides to women as I have gotten older. Gotten better at being careful about what emotions I will show women vs. which ones I’ll keep a lid on. Especially when it comes to insecurities

But I can remember dating a few women in the past who were initially head over heels for me because of the fantasy they had in their head about who they thought I was. Sure it felt good initially. They often pursued me and made dating easy. No problem getting laid in that scenario (usually their idea). They also would act seemingly supportive and tolerant of my personality. But this always ended bad. Very bad. One girl ghosted me after dating for 9 f*cking months. And all while I was dating I was aware they might just be daydreaming only to do a 180 later when their “emotions” changed.

But there have been a few women I pursued just to discover issues with them later that was less than pleasant. It was a turn off but I never did a quick 180 immediately just because they didn’t match up to the original image I had of them in my head.

Me (29M) and my fiancé (29F) have been dating for 3 years and been engaged for a little over 6 months. We have wedding plans for July. About a year into our relationship she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. She told me about it and I told her I could forgive her for it if she stopped talking to him and let him go. Our relationship was great after that and we were both very happy, we got then got engaged after dating for about 2.5 years Anyways about 5 months ago I saw a notification pop up on her phone and it was from him. Turns out that they had been talking daily for who knows how long. We got into a big fight at the time and I told her that I did not want him hanging out in the background of our relationship and she agreed. Then a couple months later I heard his voice on a Snapchat message she was listening to and that turned into another fight, insisted to me that their relationship is just platonic and she’s not trying to get with them. She said she can’t go without talking to him and didn’t see what the problem was as long as they weren’t hanging out. I was not happy about it but agreed that as long as they weren’t hanging out I was ok with it. These last two months have been increasingly hard for us and I feel that there is always tension between us. Intimacy between us has pretty much become non existent. Multiple times the subject of her ex boyfriend has been brought up and caused us to fight. I don’t know that I can marry her knowing that he is still in the picture. Anytime I try to talk with her about working on our relationship she completo shuts down and gives me very little input. I’ve tried so hard to be ok with it but the reality of the situation is that I’m not because I feel that she is still emotionally invested in him and holding out giving emotion to me in our relationship. I just can’t rationally understand why she would want to maintain 24/7 contact with him texting and snap chatting every day when we are supposed to be getting married.