Search Results: will a guy ever love me

My boyfriend is the best guy i have ever dated he makes all the efforts and loves me a lot which is why i said yes to him.

It has been a year since we started dating and i have to remind myself most of the times to reciprocate his efforts it's like a task for me and it does not come naturally as it used to with my first boyfriend. I love him tho but he love me more and i am not able to reciprocate that much efforts and love.. recently i have found myself being irritated coz he shows too much affection but i hide those feelings from him.

I don't want to loose him but i feel bad cos i don't treat him as well as he does. I think his looks embarrass me sometimes from posting a picture with him but i love his nature and personality.

Should i leave him so he could find someone better or should i stay with him and try to love him more... it will really be hard for him to move on and i don't want him to go through such pain neither do i want to loose such an amazing guy.

Even with no actual experience I still believe I fall under this category, I wonder if I need to manifest the law of attraction or something even though I do think that’s bs.

You know when you have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days. Dating apps are the only way I’ve tried dating as I dont have a social life but dating apps have been successful for quite a few people I know. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it. And I don’t either hence why I’m posting this

TLDR: based off the description, is this something that’s unlucky in love?