So... my engagement with this community has been reasonably brief.
I joined with curiosity and good intentions. My first observation was a bunch of men complaining about women. They made assertions that they were 'good guys', 'trying their best', 'down on their luck' and so on.
I had empathy. So I wrote a MyTake seeking to support and assist these men. What ensued shocked me deeply. A seemingly unending outpouring of misogynistic vitriol and victim mentality.
I've honestly never experienced anything of the kind in my real life.
I have had the good fortune of the presence of countless great men in my world. Let me tell you, great men do not behave in this manner.
What I have observed here amongst a large proportion of the male users can be boiled down to two things: fake moralising and fear of female sexuality.
And at root is just one thing: utter desecration of the feminine principle.
DESECRATING THE FEMININE & SCHISMS IN THE MALE PSYCHE
There are countless schisms to be easily observed in the collective male psyche amongst many of these GaG users.
Women here are frequently described by men as "hoes", "used pussy", "only good for twerking and OnlyFans" and on and on...
These same men then wonder why women never "give them a chance" (I dunno... would you want to give someone a chance who kept calling you a hoe?).
They suggest that women have relinquished old school values. That women have no loyalty. That women can't cook. They portray themselves as men of honour who would be wonderful and loyal husbands "if only" women were not Godless and immoral harpies.
And yet, these same men also discuss women in terms of their "market value" (vomit). They talk (with relish) about women "hitting the wall". They do not acknowledge the wisdom and value of women which comes with age. The soft and unconditional caress that a grandmother provides. The comfort that two wrinkly hands will find in one another after a lifetime of togetherness.
On the one hand they suggest women are only valuable in terms of their appearance and sexuality, and on the other they denounce women who have taken the time to deeply invest in these things.
On the one hand they castigate women for having "impossible standards", and then in the next breath they suggest women are "too easy".
They weigh in moralistically on issues such as abortion - demonizing women who find themselves in heartbreaking situations. Never once do they encourage their brothers to insist on contraception or have reversible vasectomies to prevent the situations that give rise to abortion in the first place. It is always and only the women's fault.
They suggest they will never marry a woman - they are 'going their own way'. They then complain about the proliferation of single mothers.
I could go on and on. But what I sense underneath it all is this. These men have experienced rejection, betrayal or lack of access to women - for whatever reason. And by denouncing that which they deeply yearn for, yet cannot reach, they create psychological distance between themselves and the object of their unrequited affection.
DEMONIZING THE DESIRED & THE ARTIFICE OF THE MORAL HIGHGROUND
See, it is easier to demonize women's bodies, women's sexuality and women's souls than to admit the truth - these men actually want and need us more than anything. And by the same token - women need men just as much. We all suffer in this odious void and rift-space between the sexes.
But the truth is this: we must remember that women's bodies and women's sexuality are life-giving. We are life. Wisdom traditions the world over have venerated the feminine principle because it is the mother of all of us. Our sex, our bodies, our fecundity are the stuff of magic. As are yours.
Interestingly, many of the men who have spewed the most pernicious vitriol here have done so (apparently) in the name of the Christian God. By clinging to a transcendent code which affirms the apparent superiority of the masculine principle while (conveniently) denying and seeking to suppress the sacredness of female sexuality, they can retreat into a 'safe space' of moral superiority.
It is easier to think of oneself as morally superior while doing little to advance ones own life. It is easier to fill oneself with the puffery of the myth that God is on your side, than to acknowledge that deep down you are suffering in aching loneliness and angst. You crave a gentle woman's touch, but you cannot get it - so you retreat to the space of faux puritanical vitriol and judgmentalism.
Yet this fake moral highground is not reserved for the Christian evangelists. The red pill and MGTOW mouthpieces here also suffer from being similarly poisoned by the ideology of hatred for the feminine.
I get it - love hurts. Women have hurt you. Bad women exist. Yes, it's true.
And yet, a great man will never allow these facts to prevent him from reaching the magnificence that is possible in honest and deep communion with a woman of heart and soul.
RESURRECTING THE REVERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
Until men can resurrect their reverence for women, they will never experience the ecstatic bounty of endless love which is possible in deep relationship with a wise and radiant woman.
Until men can relinquish their insistence upon desecrating the feminine, they will never experience her grace. They will remain in a perpetual loop of bottom-feeding attitudes and behaviour. Calling women 'hoes' at 3am in the morning is not the behaviour of a great man.
Of course, this reverence must go both ways.
I have great respect for the masculine principle. I hold deep honour and an endlessly open heart for men who fearlessly show up to the world with integrity. Unfortunately, with a few exceptions, I have not seen very much of that here.
In terms of my own accountability, I myself have engaged in debates with men on this site who are not worthy of my time. I will no longer do so. Instead, I will remain open to fruitful and respectful discussion with men who show up here with thoughtfulness, intelligence, respect and good intentions.
May this be a call to elevating the dialogue between men and women here.
Because God and Goddess knows, we need it!
Peace out, GaGsters. Let's try to be good to one another.
Love, NicoletteXO
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