Other people may have it worse, but...

Other people may have it worse, but...

This post isn't about just my personal experiences exactly, but I'll start you off with a few details about mine so that you can get a better picture.

I live in a 2 bedroom trailer with 5 people. We live off of 1 pay check. I can't get many luxury items besides the occasional trip to goodwill or stop at the gas station for a 99 cent bottle of tea. I also struggle with a few different medical issues that make losing weight nearly impossible for me, and I'm often ridiculed for it. I have a VERY low self esteem, and a few years ago that self esteem, near poverty, and bullying sent me into a downward spiral. I tried to cut myself. I didn't have many friends, so I had no one to really talk me out of it. I was in a mental fog. Nothing was helping me feel better, even laying in bed, watching my favorite shows, or eating good food. I couldn't make myself happy again.

I finally came clean about my new bad habit to someone I thought I could trust. When I did this, put my heart on the line, I was told to suck it up. Her exact words. "Suck it up, buttercup. You aren't the only one in the world with problems. You can deal with it, the starving kids in Africa can't deal with their own!" I was not aware that the starving kids in Africa were the only humans alive allowed to feel emotions. I didn't know that the starving kids in Africa required every last drop of pain in the world, leaving none for the rest of us. I refused to tell my mother about my habit since I feared she would give me the same response. Would my own mother care more about the starving children of Africa that her own daughter's new found suicidal tendencies?

Telling someone who has a serious problem that people have it worse is probably one of the worse things you can do. Would you tell a soldier who had his arm shot off all about how those starving kids in Africa felt, so he wasn't allowed to feel pain, sorrow, or anger? No, you would not. Yes, those children, those soldiers, those abused, those neglected, those weak and weary and hopeless and starved all deserve attention as well. These people need us, it's true. You can show your support through donations, and various other ways. But this doesn't mean that someone near you who is in pain, mental or physical, can't talk about their struggles simply because someone has it worse. Had this person not told me I should suck it up, I could have saved myself and my family years of pain and tears. I would have had the courage to talk it over with my mom, or gotten myself a counselor much sooner. Instead, I had to force myself to stop this horrible thing. It may seem stupid to you, but my mind wasn't right at the time. I've finally gotten myself stable, spoken to a trusted adult and worked through my issues, and I'm in a happier state now. This may not be the case for the next person that you brush off with "suck it up." Remember that.

Other people may have it worse, but...
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  • Spiorad_Aisce

    Good message - To that person their issue is the most important thing in their life and comparisons would have a negative impact on them and possibly their issue - If a person gets around to opening up, it is a big deal to them so give them a hearing - I have talked you before about looking after yourself but there is part of me that says you should say this is what I think, what I can do to help or here is people that can give you the best advice (within reason don't become a sponge for every problem people have) though that said don't dismiss anyone off even attention seekers or manipulators say truthfully why you are acting the way you are. In conclusion the vast majority of people who come to me are genuine so your take resonates very strongly with me.

  • Noxifer626

    True. It isn't okay to ignore the emotions of other people.