Is Going Greek Worth It?

[Anonymous]

I went into college taking Greek life with an analytical eye. I knew that the houses in our village would be swarmed with girls walking around in heels and dresses-trying to look as stereotypical as possible, hoping to get a bid from any sorority filled with chicks that could care less about GPA and quality when another hot PNM could help boost their rep on campus. I, being a dumbass, thought that I had survived this "putting our best face forward" round of recruitment by rushing in the spring. Little did I know, my sorority, which prides itself on quality instead of looks, had just as many sisters that are shallow mentally as the hot sororities.

In Greek life, there are so many guys and girls with a variety of personalities, just like all of the non-Greeks on campus; however, there are generalizations that one can make about each of the houses. "This one has hot chicks, this one is all blondes, this one is too basic, this one has fat chicks, etc. I am talkative, pretty (so I've been told), and kind, so making acquaintances is nothing for me. On the other hand, I'm analytical and can immediately read when I don't like a sister or vice versa. Even if I don't like her personality, I talk to her to be civil and respectful instead of giving the silent treatment. Surprisingly, the silent treatment I receive from most of the sisters my age! I'd expect that from older girls, not the ones I have to graduate with. My mom taught me when I was little that I don't need to kiss anyone's ass, so I moved on to befriending frat guys.

I acquainted a lot of guys last semester. Growing up with brothers made talking to boys easy along with catching shade for being one of the better looking members of my chapter. Only about 6 of our active members are actually hot in my sorority (by frat rankings), and I'm not far behind them. Some of the guys that I know happened to be crushes of my sisters, which definitely made situations awkward. When I'd go out with my sisters, I'm usually one of two or three getting hit on at any given time since some hot girls are taken. Being the bitches that they are, other sisters and I would get left at outings by ourselves. Somehow everyone got a memo to leave except a handful of us while being in the same room. Coincidence? I think not. It has happened too many times. I can greet a full table of sisters and not one of them will look up to say hello back to me. Meanwhile these are the same girls that use me to get into parties because they're afraid to enter without me, even though they've been active longer than I have. This brings me to my next point: are sororities really about sisterhood?

Greek life is supposed to be having a group of people around you with similar values that help you reach your greatest potential academically, socially, and through service. From what I've seen, the most materialistic, "basic" sororities are the ones that have close ties on my campus. Yes, they are fake, but at least they are fake TOGETHER. I look at the bonds that all the other sororities have and the obsession with their letters and bigs-something that few in my sorority seem to have because many of them are judgmental introverts that frown upon those who can go out and have a good time with or without their presence. Why pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to just wear letters? Make that money worthwhile and spend it on forming real bonds, or don't rush.

Even though I've ranted my brains out, I'm going to do the unexpected thing and tough it out. I'll adjust to their prissiness and throw my two cents occasionally-you know, be the change that I want to see in our chapter. I'm mature enough to pick my battles sparingly instead of trying to fight every sister that has wronged me or pretended to be my friend. If you ever think that you're going through a rough patch in your membership, you are not alone. I know what I'm doing is breaking down walls between us and other Greek chapters on campus, so I can influence those who rush in the future to be well rounded individuals and create something that we call true sisterhood.

*GREEK LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT*

If you want to rush, be involved. You're the future of your chapter!

[OlderAndWiser]

I was initiated into my fraternity 45 years ago. This was at a small private college where about 65% of all undergraduate men were in fraternities. I then transferred to a large state school and I did not affiliate with my fraternity's chapter on that campus because it was so drastically different than the chapter where I had been initiated.

I have stayed in touch with several of my fraternity brothers and I am involved in my area's fraternity alumni association. Being a member of a fraternity has added to the value in my life but every chapter of a Greek fraternity or sorority must be evaluated on its own merits and not judged by any national reputation or by any reputation of the Greek system in general.

[myTake Owner]

I feel as if the fundamentals that Greek life were founded on were so much more valued when you joined. now it has become a popularity contest and a means of making connections with those who hold positions on multiple organization boards or getting a hookup with some business because "a guy knows a guy that can get a job done"- at least on my campus. Greek life is like a big high school here.

[vishna]

There are great service based co-ed fraternities. A lot of the big sororities on my campus are supposed to be prissy rich girls. And a lot of the guys are huge douches. That's just how it is. The smaller, less glamorized sororities and fraternities are filled with less stereotypical people. (there are great human beings in the big ones too) But my college has a lot of douches and barbies to begin with. But the fraternities are worst than the sororities, they get into the most trouble, cause the most drama, and make national headlines at least every few years for something really negative.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but you sound very stereotypical. It's okay if you think of yourself as attractive but you just went on and on and on about it. It's become quite clear that's the only thing that truly seems to matter in your eyes and the eyes of the sorority you decided to be a part of.
Some sororities are about camaraderie but the majority like yours is really just girls using each other and then putting a smile on to hide the less than admirable behavior. Sororities are like that at my school. Every time I talk to a girl in one they just go on about all the girls in their house they hate.
The greek system is on the decline for things like this (and the more increasing stories of racism in frats that make national news and the increased of hazing/alcohol related deaths that are happening in the houses)

[myTake Owner]

I totally see what you mean, but I can also understand where she comes from. When people make you feel like you're lesser, you start priding yourself on superficial things to make yourself feel better about your situation

[myTake Owner]

Sorry that should be "can you understand where I come from"*

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like the greek life isn't really worth it for you then or at least that house. The greek life isn't really as glamorous as people try to make it seem. Again it's probably not going to be around forever the only thing keeping it around is the aura of "tradition" and alumni money. But the image of tradition is slowly dying and after awhile there won't be enough alumni to keep it going.

[myTake Owner]

I dwelled on attractiveness for so long because what other Greeks say about us got to me: that we are not only unattractive, we're not fun. Adding insult to injury, we also struggle with low numbers. My ranting comes from frustration, and a fear that our chapter won't exist if we don't appeal to enough PNMs if all these attitudes don't go away. I want us to do better. I don't want any more girls to drop a bid due to our title-a social sorority- not being upheld. I was a pledge not long ago and immediately saw the issues. Where is socializing when girls isolate us from the Greek community, or the sisterhood if we can't tolerate each other enough to synergize? I'm not saying we have to be best friends, but we should be able to work together when needed. We have such quality in serving others, yet we won't put effort into improving ourselves. Some girls want change, but are mistreated despite being the main ones progressing the involvement with other Greeks.

[9mfeo]

It's not something that has ever appealed to me. My alma mater had banned sororities and fraternities from the campus, as they feel that it doesn't promote a culture of inclusion.

Now that I'm in graduate school, I'm really not impressed with them. It seems to be a bunch of people that just like to get stupidly drunk under the guise of volunteerism. I'll admit I'm biased against the entire idea, but I can only report what I have seen.

[myTake Owner]

I definitely understand that perspective. It was like Greek life was completely disconnected from student life, yet has all positions of power in organizations

[9mfeo]

It's not sanctioned by the university here either so there's no money involved.

[justlilly]

There is literally no way I would have ever joined a sorority. I couldn't deal with the sorority girls just in my classes... how would I have ever lived and socialized with them? Also, the frat bros were total idiots. They were good for the free drinks I got from them at the bars, but that is about it.

[ZoeyMercer]

you didn't talk about the hazing? i didn't join one this semester but i was thinking about it. i am pretty shy and also I don't know if I'm attractive enough to join one. isn't it also about connections and getting jobs? at least thats why some of my friends joined, to meet people that would help them in the future lol...

[myTake Owner]

Hazing isn't a factor on my campus. There's zero tolerance for it. I apologize for not covering that

[BertMacklinFBI]

i couldn't tell you from personal experience, but I'd say nah just get your education and bum out. my friends joined frats and their life wasn't anything close to American Pie, which is what they were expecting. these are campuses located in SoCal.

[myTake Owner]

It's a lot of responsibility and not all partying like people tend to think. We have to keep good GPAs and be very involved. The only American Pie-like moment that people might have is their first semester, because after that transcript comes in with low grades, they basically get suspended from socializing until they prove that they can balance work and play.

[BertMacklinFBI]

that sounds legit then. my friends told me they barely got hazed, who knows maybe their house wasn't hardcore enough to do some real hazing, even though it's illegal, but hazing is just plain stupid, if you happen to go through it.

[myTake Owner]

I did not whatsoever experience hazing. People love to throw around "we don't do that. It's illegal" but the more real statement is "do you feel a close enough connection to your future brothers/sisters to interpret some of the questionable things we do as a memorable moment of bonding, or a threat upon your wellbeing?" We had no interpretable experiences in initiation, so I cannot relate to hazing.

[Spirit_Is_Free]

Being non American my impression of sorority life is some weird Stepford Wives exercise and I don't find it in the least bit attractive along with the "Hello everyone it mightn't look like it but I have really big balls" fraternities.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing about Greek life. I've been somewhat interested in it, but I know some girls in sororities and that takes up all of their time. I'm not really interested in all the drama

[rgb008]

I went greek and it was definitely worth it, to me!

[JamesDylan1990]

If I ever go to college, i'll just study, fuck fellowship lol

[myTake Owner]

It's not all bad! When I take myself out of trying to befriend those in my chapter, we do a lot of good with community service and fundraising for our philanthropies. It would just be more enjoyable if I had my close group of sisters around me.

[ArchDruidMordred]

What does this have to do with being Greek?

[OlderAndWiser]

"Greek" refers to greek-letter, national, social fraternities and sororities.

[myTake Owner]

I just ranted tbh. It's more about the lack of sisterhood more than Greek life in general. We preach loving your fellow sister but don't back it up. I know girls have had these same experiences in our house and other houses on campus. "Sisters" who walk by and act like you don't exist. "Sisters" who purposely belittle you and only use you to their benefit. "Sisters" who exclude you from group activities. I know a lot of girls that aren't involved within our chapter because of this. I'm trying to ignore the negativity but I might end up being less active and hang out with the less active girls. Their personalities are better. I get that we can't like everyone but I respect them and am cordial. They could at least do the same for me. It's so sad seeing some of these girls trying to fit in with a group that doesn't want them around.