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Why It's Homophobic When Straight People Won't Date Bisexuals (Page 2)
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With my own sexuality I'd guess I'm bisexual but that hasn't made its mind up yet. Anyways, my boyfriend said "okay and?" when I mentioned it and keep in mind he's full on country raised in a christian family. He doesn't like lesbian porn but has no issue with me being Bi. Just because I'm interested in both sexes doesn't mean I'll go after a chick while I'm with him.
I'm dedicated to him and have 0 interest in anyone else. Isn't that all that matters? Or is it an issue that I made out with a chick before and not an issue that my mouth has been around another guys dick before? So if you're going to be against homosexuality and bisexuality, here's a friendly reminder that that sweet kiss you're getting from your partner, most likely has had someone your sex's nouth and genetalia stained all over it.
It's biphobia. The definition of straight is being attracted to the opposite gender. Period. Gay people get crushes on straight people all the time. Straight people get crushes on gay people sometimes.
So what would the person's sexual orientation have to do with being attracted to them? None because it's not superficial trait and it's not a bad personality trait.
Fuck all these people on here disagreeing with your myTake. They're clearly turned off with the idea of bisexuality, not the bisexual person. But that's okay, I'm glad a bisexual person doesn't have to put up with their way of thinking.
Well put
Except that it's not homophobic lol it's personal preference, nothing more, nothing less.
An opinion supported by the vast majority of people in the comments.
Not wanting to date a someone who is bisexual is no different then not wanting to date someone who drinks, smokes, has vastly different viewpoints and values is a vegan is a different political party then you, list goes on and on and on.
The only time it's homophobic is when people like you get crazy ideas in there head and try to pick apart people's choices, people that you don't know and know nothing about, not their thoughts, motivations, desires, wants or wishes.
Personally, I wouldn't want to date a bisexual gal. I want a gal that is strictly into men, and I am a man that is strictly into women. Just not a lifestyle that I participate in myself so if she DID participate in non-straight sex, we aren't a cultural connect.
All this modern "alternative lifestyle acceptance" stuff doesn't belong in my relationships, personally. I want a traditional marriage with children raised in traditional gender roles. No need to muddy and complicate this stuff.
I want my future wife that is attracted to men and not attracted to women. I want to raise my son as a male in gender socialization, a future man in male gender role. I want to raise my daughter as a female in female gender socialization, a future woman in the female gender role.
Is that so bad?
I don't want to date a guy who is comfortable putting his dick in another guy or taking it in the rear. Sorry, but that's supposed to go inside me and from a health stand point, that's just gross and to me, it's worse than putting it in another girl.
It's not homophobic. It's called preference.
"Uh, honey, do you mind if my friend fucks me in the ass while I'm fucking you?"
lmfaoo.
oh its definitely worse than if he put it in another girl! i agree
That's textbook homophobia, actually.
Some guys won't date a girl if she doesn't have big boobs/butt
Some girls won't date a guy who's shorter than them
Some people won't date outside of their race
Some people want to date specifically outside of their race
It all comes to the same thing... preferences. And you should just deal with it, in my opinion. Thank God we're not all the same.
Its not the same as not dating certain races. Its the same as not dating someone "because they find that race attractive".
there's a difference.
So many people missed the argument i made and thought im saying every reason they wouldn't date a bisexual is homophobic.
THATS NOT MY argument.
Its homophobic ONLY when you wouldn't date them because the thought of that person having gay sex or finding the same sex attractive DISGUSTS YOU.
Majority of the other reasons are just personal preference.
What exactly is homophobic about finding same-sex disgusting to begin with?
The point of all that LGBT stuff is about tolerating, isn't it? Or is it about forcing people what to like and what to not like? I mean I can tolerate same sex and still find it disgusting, you know.
@FakeName123 you can think gay sex is gross.
But thinking someone isn't good enough to be in your life because their gay sex or homosexual preferences disgust you, when you wouldve wanted them in your life otherwise is being homosexual.
You can not want a bisexual partner. Its the reasons why that determine whether or not its homophobic (or more correctly in this case biphobic)
*is being homophobic
I also can think picking your nose is gross and not want to date someone who has picked her nose, because I think that person is gross. It's called preference. That doesn't make me boogerphobic.
@FakeName123
It makes you a phobic of people who eat boogers , like rejecting someone because their bi and the idea of them having gay sex disgusts you , makes you biphobic or homophobic.
How exactly would I have a fear of something that I find disgusting? Please explain me the correlation.
@FakeName123
Its not just a fear, you feel uncomfortable with them, or have negative feelings against them.
You have negative feelings against people who eat boogers.
A better example would be if you wanted ro date someone but were so disgusted with them when you found at they dated someone who was Christian or Mormon, that you now found them unnatrractive. Your saying that means you have NO negative feelings towards those religions in that case?
Or the same thing but you were so disgusted with the person because they dated someone of a certain race before that you broke up with them, event though you truly liked them. Your words are saying that means you have NO negative feelings towards that race.
You are thinking in absolutes. Being uncomfortable having a relationship with them is not the same as being uncomfortable with them as a person. There is a distinction.
I still can like a friend despite finding his urine-fetish disgusting.
But even if I found them as a person uncomfortable or have negative feelings towards them - how exactly does that involve fear?
And I also can have negative feelings towards a religion and thus have negative feelings towards a person who follows that religion. If I were a pacifist and had negative feelings towards the military, I naturally would also have negative feelings towards a person who is in the military.
@FakeName123
Okay, what does someone being uncomfortable with being in a relationship with someone because they dated a black person? The person rejecting them thinks people dating and having sex with black people is gross to them, and thats why they won't date that person they did like.
Their response is "Oh i have no problems with black people but I would never date someone who would date a black person. Im sorry but the idea of someone dating a black person disgusts me. Oh but we can still be friends though, so it doesn't mean Im in any way racist towards black people."
By your logic you agree with that statement.
And the point of this is saying not dating someone because their homosexual or bisexual preferences disgust you is saying you have negative feelings towards that behavior. The word commonly used for it is homophobic or biphobic. If there's a different word to you that describes that then "thats" what im saying you are in that scenerio. This doesn't apply for every reason
Trying to spin it not only into homophobia, but also potential racism. Nice try, mate. I am out here. Obsess your life over "be tolerant people - don't have preferences, because thats sexist, racist, homopobic, transphobic, whatnot". Waste of time. I made my point clear and you refuse to understand it.
@FakeName123
The difference is my argument made sense and yours didn't. I gave a real life example of what your doing in a understandable context. You had no answer for it. That person has negative feelings about black people just like you would someone bisexual. Replace black person with "someone of the same sex" and replace the last part of her quote with "oh, but ill still be your friend, so that mean i have no negative feelings against people who find the same sex attractive even if they date the opposite sex"
If you want to leave go ahead. Everyone whos reasoning with logic instead of emotion like you would understand my argument. Good day :)
Sure thing mate. I know when its pointless to go on, because it was clear to me that you refused to get and react to my point and just repeated your own constantly. I will not interfere in your perceived victory
@FakeName123
What point did i miss? And you never refuted the last point i made. Your claiming victory when youd didn't shoot down my main points. The last example i used before you "gave up" was the core belief of my argument, you didn't address it. If you can shoot down that argument im on your side.
Nah..
Comparing racism to a dislike of dating guy people. What a convenient move.
This is so incorrect.
No, i some people find same sex sex disguisting , just as others may find opposite sex sex disguisting. That doesn't make you a homophobe. Most straight men will always find gay sex didguisting. Its in our nature.
However thats just a point i made, not relevant here.
As a straight man i wouldn't date a bisexual girl. I actiully find lesbian sez occassionally hot. But i would feel with a bi girl, she might crave that at some time and i can't give her that. And im not open to a 3 some.. So thats it... I think females might feel the same about bi men
Although I would gladly date a bisexual girl, it's actually my dream to date 2 and have all 3 of us be in a relationship, I sort of understand why others wouldn't.
I don't think it's about a dislike for gays. It is more about jealousy. It could drive a person crazy if they had to constantly think "does he find him attractive" or "does she find her attractive".
The idea that a heterosexual relationship may not be enough since the bisexual individual likes both straight and gay sex can be intimidating for close minded people.
It requires a certain level of trust in a partner to not interfere with them having friends of the opposite gender. In the case of a bisexual, anyone could be a potential sexual partner (well not really but the options are certainly greater).
@CosmicallyCombined said everything there is to say here:
"You can’t tell people who to love and who to date. Just like homosexuals and bisexuals don’t want people telling them who they can date, YOU can’t tell straight people that they must date you."
You're not going to shame someone into liking or being attracted to you. It just isn't going to happen. Yeah, it may hurt your feelings, but everyone has the right to choose who they want to be with, including your prospective partner.
Thanks :)
How does this not have more likes?
Are you kidding? No one will ever force anyone to date anybody. some dont like redheads, dont like short guys, whatever. I won't date a bisxual and good luck forcing me to. they can do what they want but if you are with a man then try to be with me? no thanks
Here's the thing; why can't people like, or dislike, whoever they want without being labeled a racist? We are all attracted to different qualities and there is nothing at all racist about that. If you are a man who prefers women who have blond hair and blue eyes, who also just doesn't like red heads and would never date one, doesn't mean he is "racist" against red heads. I'm attracted to a particular "group" of women more than others, it doesn't matter what my preference is, I'm not racist whatsoever. I also wouldn't date women from more than one race, not because I'm racist, but rather, I just don't find that "look" (it could also be mannerism, etc.) attractive to the point of being interested in dating them. I think if people really don't want racism, then we need to stop referencing race altogether. That's my take and I'm sticking to it.
A lot of people are going to say it's just a preference, like dating someone of another race or a short person, or someone with a certain hair color. I get that - you can't really control what you find attractive and what you don't.
However, being bisexual isn't a physical feature, nor is it something you can control. So it boils down to a statement of "I am not attracted to someone that engages in homosexual activity". And, that's irrelevant in a relationship because presumably they wouldn't be doing that while in said relationship. Take that a step further and say bisexual people aren't as faithful as others and you literally have a situation in which people aren't dating them because they are afraid they might engage in homosexual activity. That is, homophobia.
I've dated several bisexual women, and they aren't any different than any other girls from what I can tell except in two ways: 1) they're much more open minded, and 2) threesomes are generally easier to coordinate.
Nor can you control your race, height or natural hair colour.
So then by your logic, if a person is unable to control who or what they find attractive, and a person happens to not find bisexuality attractive, that does not make them a homophobe.
Because your attention can go beyond what is physical.
It's not irrelevant.
And if it were the case that bisexuals were less faithful ( for argument's sake ) surely the straight partner would be averse to to their inability to remain faithful over their sensual relations.
And also, being repulsed by homosexual activity does not make a person homophobic.
Because that would mean that every straight guy who doesn't like watching gay porn is a homophobe. Which simply isn't the case.
@MakeShiftThug I said "nor is it something you can control" simply because that's a common thing people harp on. My main point was that bisexuality isn't a physical thing, which you didn't address at all.
Also, in this case being repulsed by homosexual activity isn't what's being discussed. It's being repulsed by *someone else* engaging in homosexual activity.
"Because your attention can go beyond what is physical" one example being bisexuality.
Exactly, you find their environment in that area repulsive.
@MakeShiftThug and in that regard, you could be considered a homophobe.
I don't think that not wanting to date a bisexual person is the same as not wanting to date someone because they are attracted to black people.
Those are two different things, black people are not a gender. Being attracted to them is not a sexual orientation.
I see nothing wrong with being bisexual, I just wouldn't date a bisexual because I would feel insecure.
At the end of the day, people are free, and should be free to choose who they date. I 100% see where you're coming from though. I just don't think I would personally do as far as to say homophobia, I think for some people it's fear (not of all gay people rather that there will be too many options) But I'm only speculating because I've never been in that position.
That being said, I do think there is a LOT of hate towards bisexual people. And it needs to stop.
It seems to me that it's each person's prerogative to date whom he or she chooses, without regard to sexual orientation, race, religion, or any other group demographic.
I have dated certain guys because I wanted to date them, & it is not for anyone to dictate to me whom I should be dating, based on whatever criteria they may have.
The reason I don't want to date a bi-girl is NOT because she isn't straight but in MY EXPERIENCE 4/5 times bi-girls carry some form of baggage like mental health issues, anxiety, or promiscuity.
Now I'll just wait for some idiot to comment how I'm wrong or generalizing by making judgments on things I have personally seen and they haven't.
What if a person doesn't like to date fatties, trannies, blacks or tall chick's? Is it bigotry or preference? Gays don't like dating the opposite sex and we don't say they are hetrophobic. People just date who they are attracted to and some are not attracted to by people who gives a shit?
Thats not the right comparaison. Its like saying " i dont date people who would date black guys. The thought if someone dating a black person disgusts me. But i have black friends and i dont show any form of prejudice and hate towards black people i interact with."
This is only in the case where you reject them. Because their homosexual preferences disgust you or you have negative feelings about them
Your title says it's homophobic to not date bisexual people I am responding to that. It wasn't talking about people hating on them for being bisexual. Also if you reject them becuse their sexual preferences digust you that is a good reason. Some people like BDSM some are digusted, same with beastlity, furries or peope into polyamory
You didn't address the race example i used. Thats what it looks like to me. It doesn't look like a personal preference like bondage or something. Whats your opinion about the person's preferences in my example under your opinion?
Ok you just keep describing preferences. You should say people shouldn't date racist or homophobes. If a person doesn't date blacks that doesn't make them racist. If a person doesn't date bisexual people that doesn't make them homphobic. It's only bigotry when they think blacks or bisexuals are less then human.
Thats not my example... My example is someone who doesn't date anybody WHO WOULD DATE A BLACK PERSON.
The person their rejecting is their own race. But theyre rejecting them because that person in their own race would date a black person.
Your looking at your example, whats your opinion about "my example".
Unless thats what you meant. Because im not talking about rejecting someone because their race. Thats the example your using and its not what im im talking about
So why not say you shouldn't date a racist or a homophobe. You make it sound like because a person wouldn't date a black or bisexual they are a bigot
I never said in any way someone who wouldn't date a black person is a bigot.
Look at it this way
Person A doesn't date black people because he doesn't find black peoples facial features attractive and has no negative feelings towards black people
Thats not racism, thats personal preference like your saying.
Person B doesn't date black people because whether or not their attracted to them they are disgusted with that race. They think black people are inferior.
Whats your opinion on person B?
Person C says he has black friends, says he doesn't treat black people differently then other races, but wouldn't date anybody who would date a black person (this person he's rejecting isn't black) because he's disgusted about the idea of someone finding black people attractive and someone dating them.
Whats your opinion on person C?
Your opinion on person C is the race equivalent of bisexual or homosexual negativity to a straight person who rejects a bi person cuz they think gay sex is gross.
Not all reasons make you a biphobe or homophobe, if its because you think them liking gay sex is gross then thats why
*of a straight person
I guess person b is a striaght up racist so I wouldn't have anything to do with them. Person c is just weird, I wouldn't judge a person for feeling that way becuse we all have weird ass ideas when it comes to sex. As long as the person is only grossed out at the act of gay sex and doesn't think they should thrown off a building for id be cool with them.
See how you thought person C was weird. THATS what it looks like to me. Do you see why i thought it was at least weird?
But im okay with your opinion.
People are just confused since your title sucks. It's literally saying people who don't date bisexual people are homophobic
I've seen and read stories on gag about bi women saying how they "love" their partner but have an urge to be in a relationship with a women and miss being in one. The reason why me, including everyone on this thread refuse to date a bisexual is because we'd have to compete with the opposite gender. With a straight partner it's different because we can fix and improve our acts in bed since we have the same sexual organ, but with a bi partner its impossible So by your logic its transphobic to date a trans since I would never be in a relationship with someone who used to be a man. Everyone's entitled to their preference on who'd they date and you have no right whatsoever telling others who they should and shouldn't date.
It's not homophobia, it's a preference. Going by your logic. Being a gay man would be sexist against women
How does my logic say that. The gay man didn't find you attractive or like you more than a friend, thats why he didn't date you. Now if he did find you attractive and wanted to date you, but found out you were straight and was too disgusted with you to date you , then he is indeed heterophobic
Yes it is homophobia for example a straight woman liking a guy, finding out he's gay and bein disgusted. But what's not homophobia is finding out he's bi and don't really wanna date him anymore, maybe because she doesn't like the thought of her specific partner to like guys, not homophobically (if that's a word). She's not disgusted but might be put off by the idea that he fucks guys with the same dick as he fucks her with
That IS homophobia, its the same as when a two guys are best friends and one comes out as bi. His best friend doesn't want to be his friend anymore and kicked him out if his life because he doesn't like the thought of his friend engaging in homosexual behavior. Your saying thats not homophobic at all?
It is homophobia in your example, just not as extreme. If its because the thought of them having gay sex offputs you its because homosexuality makes you uncomfortable to accept someone in "that" case.
Now if it was for different reasons like a lot posted on here, thats not homophobia. Its mostly personal preference that every person should be okay having
But the woman might be uncomfortable with the thought of her man with another man. Should she suffer through that. It's not as if this women as over homophobic. She wouldn't scream I'm dumping you because you're a filthy fag
"But what's not homophobia is finding out he's bi and don't really wanna date him anymore, maybe because she doesn't like the thought of her specific partner to like guys, not homophobically (if that's a word)."
That's the literal definition of homophobia. Go look up a dictionary
@MoreQuestions stop being bitch to me and trying to be smart. Different people have different preferences.
The point is in this case she has something against guys having gay sex or going both ways. Its not as extreme as saying "get out fag". It still means she has a problem with that behavior.
The same way as if she broke up with him because she found out he dated Mormons and Christians. And the thought of him dating a Mormon or Christian disgusted her so much she dumped him. Even if she didn't say anything derogatory about those religions and she's not in a hate group against them. It means she has something against those religions or their behavior, If she didn't it wouldn't be a problem.
In this case the appropriate term is biphobic, but it still applies the same.
I wasn't sayin she was disgusted. It's hard to say what I'm trying to put across
Then its clearly a negative feeling towards bisexual and homosexual behavior if she would break up with a guy she liked or reject a guy she liked "just" because he's bisexual and has a preference for the same sex.
If she didn't have negative feelings towards it she wouldn't have a problem with it. And she especially wouldn't reject him or break up with him over it if she liked him before she knew
Thats the point
Actually, your preferences are irrelevant since I wasn't even talking about them. I was just stating a fact. That's that the word "homophobia" means, and the dictionary isn't going to change it's definition to match your preference.
Not my point
@MoreQuestions so someone should just stay with someone when they don't want to then. Ok nice world
Lmao I never said or implied that anywhere. The fact that my words sailed right over your head says a lot about you. All you did is put words into my mouth
@MoreQuestions the fact that you judged me from the way I interpreted a few words; says a lot about you
Well I didn't judge you the first time but you actually did it twice. Even though I made it clear the first time... And I'm not the one who resorted to insults right away. You called me a bitch the first time.
I don't think it's because they are homophobic that they wouldn't date bisexuals, but knowing that their bodies have been with the same as theirs. I don't think many women would want to date a man that has had sex with another man because of where their penises have been in, and they don't want that same thing inside them. Men probably don't have too much of a problem with that though because most men like lesbian action.