Things Not to Say to Someone Who Is Bisexual

[JustinTheGreat]

Most of y'all don't need to hear this. I'm sure a majority of you already know the things i'm about to say. But I still hear/see people say these things sometimes. Being bisexual myself I even hear some of this from my own family. Sooo this is just to educate the small percentage of people who still say these.

It's also a reminder to stop acting like you know about OTHER people's sexuality or feelings. That's one of the most annoying things. When someone (who is straight) tries to educate you and tell you you're wrong about your own sexuality. Stay in your lane.

I don't know why but I felt the need to add a gif of my girls Alex and Piper.

"Bisexuality doesn't exist"

Yeah it does, bye.

That's all I have to say. Who are you to say that someone else's feelings are fake? Just because you may not understand it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I hate when people say that.

"I don't understand why someone would be bi"

"I don't understand why someone would be gay"

So because you aren't gay and you don't feel that way towards the same sex, that means it's IMPOSSIBLE for anyone else to feel that way?

No bitch, everyone's different.

"It's just a phase"

(Or "you're just confused")

Yes, people go through phases. Especially if we're talking about teenagers or young adults in college. I'm sure all of us know someone who was like "oh i'm bi" one day and then they were like "Oh nevermind" the next. So yes, I think it is possible to have a 'bisexual phase' or be a little bi-curious.

But it's not a phase for everyone.

It's especially annoying when you've called yourself bi for fucking years and people still insist that you'll "grow out of it"

I've liked guys since I was 12. I'm turning 20 in two months. Don't you think I would of grown out of a "phase" from when I was 12 by now?

I love puns.

"Being bisexual is trendy right now"

Sexuality isn't a trend. Clothes are trendy. Shoes are trendy. Hairstyles are trendy.

I feel saying "being bi is trendy" is another way to invalidate people's sexuality and make it seem people are only bi because it's the cool thing to do.

It's not cool. It's a regular everyday thing. If you think lying about being bi makes you cool and makes you fit in, you're an idiot. Be yourself. A sexuality shouldn't make you cool...

"You're bi to get attention"

I think this one is usually said to women. Some people assume girls say they're bi because they think guys will find it attractive. Are there girls who have done that? yeah. Are there girls who have kissed other girls so they can draw attention. Definitely. But it's 100% not the case with every bisexual woman there is.

Not to mention there is more bad attention that comes from it then good attention.

"You're attracted to everyone?"

"You're in a relationship? But aren't you bi?"

"You're Greedy"

"All bisexuals cheat"

(and other things that suggest bisexuals need to be with multiple people)

I think this is the thing that I hear the most from people. People assume you can't be satisfied dating just one person. People think you NEED to be with both men and women to be happy.

When you're dating someone people actually get confused that you're committing to one person.

Or people just think you want to fuck everyone you see.

Being attracted to both genders doesn't mean you want them both at the same time. I'm perfectly happy and satisfied being with one person. I'm not into polygamy. I wouldn't even be interested in having a bi threesome (or of any kind) lol.

There ARE bisexuals who are polygamous but there are also gay and straight people who are too. It's not a bi only thing

"You're too afraid to admit you're gay"

Lol no. I'm pretty sure that being bi is LESS accepted than being gay. Considering that people don't even think bisexuality exists, they think bi people are greedy, or that we're all cheaters, etc. There are even gay people who think these things and aren't accepting of bisexuals.

I know so many people (including most of my family) who are 100% okay with gay people but are not okay when it comes to bisexuals. Like my mom, she told me "If you're gay that's fine, but don't ever tell me you're bisexual"

To end the myTake, here's a pun I heard today:

"I like both guys and girls but yet I still can't find someone to date"

"I guess you were just meant to be bi yourself"

Lol that was so fucking stupid. goodbye.

I hesitated to click the "submit" button because I feel this sucks and has already been done before but whatever. I don't care.

[ASEXY]

"Bisexuality doesn't exist"
It's weird how someone decides to think that a sexuality doesn't exist because you can't prove or disprove how a person feels. It's not tangible evidence.
"It's just a phase"
It's a phase for some people, but it doesn't mean it's a phase for the person you are talking to.
"Being bisexual is trendy right now"
I agree, sexuality is not a trend. It's part of who the person is, and only a small minority (2% I think) of people identify as bisexual. I highly doubt a mentally sane, straight person would identify as bisexual to get attention. So it can't be a trend.
"You're attracted to everyone?", "You're in a relationship? But aren't you bi?", "You're Greedy", "All bisexuals cheat"
Okay, these people don't understand bisexuality and sexuality in general for that matter. They are clearly ignorant.
"You're too afraid to admit you're gay"
Most people have this belief that men are either gay or straight, which clearly isn't true. And it seems like being a gay man is more acceptable than being a bisexual or asexual man. If anyone ever says that to you, another good response is to say "If I was fully gay, I would've accepted/admitted and happily lived purely gay because being gay is nothing to be ashamed of."

What we all need to accept and remember is that we aren't responsible for what people believe and say.

[Anonymous]

i used to be 100% against bisexuality because of the bible, my religion (christian), and just the way i grew up. but then once a girl moved to my city back in grade 9 and we became best friends. later in grade 9 she told me she's bisexual. i thought she was bluffing because i only knew what the bible and other people have said. but then i realized that she didn't seem stereotypical at all. i'm still best friends with her today and these things in this mytake were all the things i USED to think about bisexuality

[RachelleDraws]

That's really sweet. I hope you continue to support her.

[Opinion Owner]

@RachelleDraws thanks, and i do because she's like any other human in the world

[RachelleDraws]

I wish all the homophobes would give them a chance before immediately attacking them.

[Opinion Owner]

@RachelleDraws yah i know. some homophobes just can't be changed because they're stuck with strict biases, stereotypes, and perspectives on whatever it is that they hate about other sexualities. i was only homophobic at first because i never understood it and never met anybody who was gay, trans, bi, etc before my best friend

[RachelleDraws]

With most minor homophobes, there tends to be a rule of 3. Once 3 homosexuals come out to them, they seem to be more accepting.

[Opinion Owner]

@RachelleDraws i've never noticed that cuz the homophobes in my small town are pretty much staying with their mind set of "gays, trans, bis, etc are evil and will burn in hell" since that's what's said by many people. i see nothing wrong with being "non straight". it only took one girl to be bisexual to change my mind about it

[RachelleDraws]

Those are what I count as major. They take about 5 people coming out to them. Of course, there are exceptions.

[Opinion Owner]

@RachelleDraws that’s true. Also just wondering, would you still call somebody a homophobe if they think people in the lgbtq group shouldn’t be bashed and hurt, but people shouldn’t accept it? My one friend thinks this but I’m not sure cuz it seems 50/50?

[RachelleDraws]

Homophobia is the dislike of or prejudice against homosexual people.
So yes.

[Opinion Owner]

@RachelleDraws ahh yah. I was just wondering since she was seeming homophobic by saying it shouldn’t be accepted, but yet not homophobic cuz she doesn't want lgbtq members to get hated on

[OlderAndWiser]

"Bisexuality doesn't exist" You are right. No one else has the authority to look at your behavior and make assumptions about how you feel. Only you know how you feel and it is arrogant for anyone else to tell you how you "really" feel. Southerners regularly encounter that problem when we express pride in our heritage and we are told that we must be racist.

"Bisexuality doesn't exist" When someone says "I don't understand why someone would be bi" you should respond, "I know what you mean. I don't understand why anyone likes hockey!"

"It's just a phase" As you acknowledge, it is a phase for some people, and most heterosexuals have limited experience with bisexuals. People make assumptions based on their experience.

"Being bisexual is trendy right now" Yes, it is trendy for people to admit that they have a sexuality that is not mainstream. It is strongly supported by our PC culture.

"You're bi to get attention" Se see girls who we believe to be heterosexual kissing other girls on the dance floor. Pretending to be bi is an attention seeking device. Of course, that is not the impetus for bisexuality

"All bisexuals cheat" I married a bisexual girl and she cheated on me with another girl. Marriage over! I am not objective on this subject but, yes, it does happen. Get married or get into an exclusive. relationship and you must give up half of your sexuality. That doesn't sound like it would be an easy thing to do.

[LaikaFreefall]

Okay, dont shoot me... I think the fact that it's trendy right now has something to do with why there are so many bisexuals rn. lol. Wait, hear me out!
See, everyone falls somewhere on a line between totally gay and totally straight. Okay? And most people fall somewhere in the middle, typically leaning toward straight. That's what is natural, what is biologically determined to be so... But that's not all that needs to be considered when it comes to who a person is. There's also the nurture side of things. I feel it would be crazy talk to just assume there is no nurturing involved in sexual preference. Now, thats not to say it's a choice. Far from it! Just that it's not 100% biological.
Anyway, my point being that when a person lives in a society that is accepting of such things, a person is more likely to be socialised in such a way as to let their gayer side develop. And, should such a side be present, they would be far less likely to repress such feelings.

So I guess kind of what I'm saying is being bi may have something to do with it "being trendy" or "going around."
And just a P. S. the idea that "bisexuality doesn't exist" I'd actually argue it's almost the only thing that exists. lol It's exceedingly rare to find someone who is ALL gay or ALL straight. Like I said... it's basically a continuum.

[JustinTheGreat]

Well I disagree that most people fall in the middle of gay and straight. I think most people really are straight and dont necessarily have a gay side to them.
but I can understand that since bisexuality is so accepted now, more and more people are comfortable coming out and that's probably why there is a lot of bi people in this generation.

[LaikaFreefall]

I would agree most people are mostly straight. But I do tend to think most people are some teenie tiny part gay, deep down somewhere. But hey, different strokes. lol.

[bloodmountain1990]

I have met people who were in fact being bi as part of a trend or experimented and wouldn't shut up about it, but those were a VERY small amount of people and this was in high school around 2005-2006.

I personally don't care what one guy or girl does with their sex life, but people who always had to put it out there that they were bi i found to be just as annoying as guys that were like "yeah, i love pussy".

But again, those don't represent all bi people just like how those guys don't represent all straight guys. Just wanted to clarify.

Great take.

[Jemini_Crocket]

I agree with most of the things. Life of a real bisexual person isn't easy. I wrote real because I've met a lot of people who kept saying that they're bi but never were... so I believe it is a trend or was for a while. It definitely gives someone who's popular more attention if they say say something like that.

You will never get everyone to agree with you. I personally don't even want that but a little respect would be just fine but many homo/bi-phobic people aren't capable of that.

I absolutely hate when people say all girls are bisexual despite me knowing lots of heterosexual ones. Some folks are just stupid. :)

I wish being bi would give me more options as people say I have, I'm still a single af too :'D

[LovingLoverReturned]

Do you prefer a gender over the other?

I was shocked the other day to hear a straight guy wanted to be pegged.

I think I remember a guy in my school who appeared gay due to his attitude, talk and walk... but he may have been bi.. I think he hit on girls... well he wouldn't have been able to hit on guys because it isn't welcomed.

I know you can't speak for everybody, but from your observations or experience, would you say a "feminine" bi guy would mainly be attracted to tomboyish women and stereotypical men?

[JustinTheGreat]

I mostly prefer men over women. To be honest I’m more of a homoromantic bisexual, I’m married to a man and don’t think I could develop feelings for a woman. I’m just physically attracted to them.
But I’ve seen feminine men date other feminine men, or women before. I think most of the time fem men will be into masculinity but it’s not always the case.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Hmmm okay

[CuddlyCarla]

Another one to not mention to a bi person is trying to measure their queerness in some way. For example, a lesbian co-worker found out I was bi and mentioned "I would be curious to know your relationship history", the implication being that she wanted to know if I leaned more towards men or women and how queer I actually was and if that was acceptable enough to her. I don't owe someone anything. I certainly don't need to try to validate what someone else thinks. Regardless of percentages or history, I am bi and that will never change.

[azzntittiz]

I've had feelings for girls since I was a teen, the only confusion I felt was at that point in my life, like how can I get strange feelings for girls but have crushes on men?
I got more exposure to the rest of the world, and found out my orientation is bisexual. My only wet dream was about a girl, just imagine how confused I was at 14.
And yes, we can be satisfied with one gender in a monogamous relationship, it just works like that, I would actually go full on straight if I found the right guy, but for now I'm just having fun.

[bekkesmash]

All women are bisexual

[Jemini_Crocket]

@bekkesmash And you're an idiot if you believe that lol
I'm bi, my female friends though threw up once I mention them going down on a woman. You're delusional.

[bekkesmash]

That girl probably still masturbates to lesbian porn.

[Jemini_Crocket]

*facepalm*

[bekkesmash]

It's by far the most popular genre of porn to the female demographic (pornhub statistics). She probably does watch it.

[bekkesmash]

And if you are one of those who think women who masturbate to lesbian porn are still straight... well hahahahahah shit, that's absurd.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@bekkesmash I knew someone would claim that all women are bisexual. You are wrong.

[Kreneman]

Everybody in the world are in titled to their own opinions as well as their morals; and granted people's opinions may not be right but you do have people that do know what they're talking about (meaning they know what say to Bisexual person). Bisexual people are homosexual people and its not impossible that a human being like yourself or other homosexuals can be attracted to both sex but at same time you do have other homosexual people that have a problem with this as well because the man you maybe dating want you to be loyal to him the same as the woman may want the same thing but what it really boils down to when the time comes for you to be with that one person, your going to have to make a decision on what sex your going to be with and people will still call you Gay if your with a man or some will call you somewhat straight if your with a woman anyway because that is just how people are.

[Rissyanne]

Bisexuals should live their life they way they want. But dont get pissed when someone who is straight doesn't want to date you. I would never date a bisexual man.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Did they consciously form each of their bodily members in the womb? Did they get to decide which sperm fertilized the egg? Then that first statement cannot be an absolute.

That being said, the rest of what you say is true.

[Rissyanne]

@ObscuredBeyond Dude... it is none of my business what they do. I just dont want to be a part of it.

[razor97]

@ObscuredBeyond nobody chooses to be boy or girl. it's not a choice. nobody chooses. you are definitely a superstitious person

[ATuairiscean]

First of all I actually liked the joke at the end - All very good points that you make - Really when I think of judgey situations, I always think "Are you perfect, the answer is always no and people in glass houses don't throw rocks" - I just have a set of rules based around consent and non abuse (Obviously more thought out but don't have space for full discussion here), if people stay inside those loose limits they will have no issues with me.

[Astoriana]

People fear what they don’t understand. The conservatives that frequent this website fear more than most. I wonder what that means for their level of understanding...

[Pink2000]

So I have a question. When you're dating another man does that mean you're gay or still bi?

[JustinTheGreat]

still bi

[hiddenbehindabook]

yup still bi it’s not as if you’d lose ur sexuality when u’r in a relationship :)

[Imustacheuaq]

I think attraction like all things in life is on a gradient. It's not black and white, but every shade of every color. Some people only like the opposite sex, some only the same, and yet a great deal of others like some variation in between. Frankly people should be able to choose whatever they like in this regard as what one does with their own body and any other consenting adult is no ones business but their own.

[sawno]

This take could have gone wrong on many levels. But after skimming the headlines i can say all of these points should have no need for defense because all of them are redicilous statements in the first place. As a result i skipped over your actual defenses but was glad you are defending the right kind of accusations rather then it being comedy or propeganda.

[ObscuredBeyond]

They need redemption. But who hasn't had to be redeemed from something or another? Yet, that doesn't necessarily make any of these other statements true of the whole group. However... there are some individuals who are bi that are the reason these stereotypes exist. One of my exes, surprise, was bi. And she was a cheater. And an attention whore. And, turns out, a lot of... other things. Couldn't drop that hot potato fast enough.

[ladsin]

Haha bi Felicia

I think a pretty good indicator of my bisexuality is that my dad thinks I'm only gay, and my mom thinks I'm hetero but just having sex with men as a phase XP

Good mytake lol

[Izumiblu]

I generally don't have discussions with bi people about their sexuality. I really don't care what other people do in the bedroom that's between you and whoever you have in your bedroom. I prefer that it be kept that way.

[ObscuredBeyond]

I care just enough to want to hope that anyone with self-destructive sexual hobbies can eventually rid themselves of them. That being said, I agree that I don't want them to broadcast details of their exploits where said details are not asked for, and where they cannot be unseen.

[Anonymous]

I AM BI AND THIS MAKES MEH SUH HAPPY THANK UU T-T All my friends say its "just a phase". Like, fuck off.

[demonics]

Don't you DARE tell them they're lying... even if some dating sites population of bisexuals is 10X the national average... lol

www.huffingtonpost.com/.../...cupid_b_7640726.html

When you need a damned Re:actor V3 to figure out whether this person has the equipment you're looking for.

[Regular1]

To my knowledge, I've never met a bi-person. And I can easily live out my life keeping it that way. I don't care who anyone has sex with but I agree with most of the things you wrote never to say to them, i. e. they ARE confused, they ARE doing it for attention BECAUSE it's trendy and most are afraid to admit being gay.