Society & Politics

The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North

The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North.

I've lived in the North most of my adult life. I usually travel down South every ten years so I can remember my roots. Plus I have an insane theory that if you live in a place for ten years straight you become "from" that place. And I don't want to feel like I'm from here...ever! I like being the odd man out. (Or Spy if you will..) So if you're thinking of moving North I've got a list of personal observations you might want to take note of.


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Con #1 The Accent:



It's number one no matter where you move in the North, East or West. My slow Southern drawl marks me as an outsider here. That's why I imitate the Yankee accent at work. As Jeff Foxworthy said, People automatically want to deduct Fifty IQ points when they hear me talk. And at work where I mainly swear like the Sailor/Painter I am, they usually deduct more. (When swearing natural accents come out fast) Still I work alone so it's not all the time.


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Pro #1 The Accent:



It's GREAT for Dating! People get so used to everyday local jerks using tired lines that it's a huge relief when you open with a "Howdy" or "Hey Y'all." From there it's a small matter of remembering your Southern Hospitality and Manners. It's also Awesome for dealing with the Cops! I've been pulled over five times for stuff I should've been ticketed for but when that accent kicks in I think the Cops start to look at me like a kid who just lost his dog. Either way I get away with just a warning.


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Con #2 The Snow:



Growing up down South I just had to deal with frost or an inch of snow at most. Still an inch of snow in the South shuts a town down for a day. Up here people are still playing Football and Golf with no problem. They still drive way too fast so you may want to get over in the right hand lane to avoid the tailgaters.


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Pro #2 The Rain:



Here's how we get even with the Winter Speeders! Few Yanks know how to handle the Rain. In a long continuous rain they slow down by 15 miles under the speed limit. I on the other hand can Puddle Jump and Hydroplane right past those slow bastards.


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Con #3 Strangers:



Up here people want to talk. Random people try to start a conversation with me all the time. *Sigh* It's very annoying to me. When I go places I have a set plan on how to get in and out in a matter of minutes but ignoring people doesn't work here. They just repeat themselves louder. Even just sticking to "Uh Huh"s and "Ahh"s people will still carry on the dang blasted conversation. And if they hear the Southern accent you're in for at least ten more minutes of talking.


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Pro #3 Friends:



Making friends is easy. They'll find you. And if you play your cards right any flaws you might have will be attributed to your "poor Southern raising." It's condescending but useful to get away with small things. In about a month it becomes law and I've heard people explain my actions away as "Oh, That's just PJ he's from the South."


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Con #4 The Arrogance:



Yankees naturally have this smug attitude when encountering Southerners. It's the basic "I'm more sophisticated and educated than a racist hillbilly like you!" attitude. I'm not racist and I'm smart enough to know when I'm being looked down on. But their delusions of grandeur approach Epic proportions!


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Pro #4 The Image:



Along with the accent they have a preconceived image of you as a Cowboy/Hillbilly/Train Jumping Hobo. They underestimate you every chance they get...which means they never see you coming or your sarcasm!


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Con #5 Their Accents:



Where I am they seem to have adopted a bastardized version of the German accent mixed with a tainted version of the Canadian accent. I've talked to both groups of foreign visitors and even they say "What The Fuck Are They Saying?!" I tell them if you hear "Oh Yeah" or "Ya-betcha" just smile and excuse yourself.


The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


Pro #5 Conceal and Carry:



I'm not overly concerned about Terrorists up here because one in five people are armed and will shoot back. The state's motto should be "Try That Shit Here And See What Happens!" In fact the last big thing that happened here was a bridge collapse and everyone was packing until they found out it was an accident. But it took six months before the stats went back to normal. And remember "Gun Free Zones" may cause tragedies but Zones don't apply to parking lots.



That's the list just bare them in mind when planning a visit or a move. If I forgot anything let me know in the comments.

The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North


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The Pros And Cons Of Being A Transplanted Southerner In The North
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