I'm a shy and quiet person, so because of that I have good observation skills, which one gains by sitting back and looking at everyone around them. One thing I have not only observed but experienced firsthand, is people making excuses for people who do bad things. They try to find reasoning and logic, to justify their bad behaviors especially to the people who were victims of those people's bad behaviors.
So, I'm here to tell you.........
IT'S NOT OKAY TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR PEOPLE WHO MADE A CHOICE TO HURT SOMEONE!
See, I was bullied in school and apparently according to society and people on here that's my fault. Doesn't matter that I didn't do anything wrong and that me simply existing was reason for them to bully me, all that matters is that "kids will be kids". At least that's what people tell me. However, if by the age of 11, 12 and 13 you don't know it's wrong to call people names or stick their head in a garbage bag, I'd say that's a mighty problem wouldn't you?
I get people do stupid things when they are young and 11 maybe young but if you're old enough date at 11 than you should be old enough to know that what you are doing is wrong and hurtful, if you don't that's a problem.
I know that was 15yrs ago for me and I forgive but I'll forget or stop having people justify what they did to me, which is wrong. People say "you don't know what was going on in their life at that time", maybe not but they didn't know what was going on in my life at that time but that didn't stop them from tearing me down.
I lost two grandparents in the 7th grade 5 mouths apart from each other. My dad almost went to jail because his stupid boss made up allegations about him they weren't true and I remember us going to small court proceedings and everything. That doesn't matter though, does it? It just matters that they were going through something in their life at the time (potentially) and so that gives them a free pass to have broken down my spirit and treat me like crap. Right?
It's doesn't matter the ramifications that being bullied had on me mentally or emotionally or how it completely changed me and my brain chemistry or that I've spent many years of my life trying to build myself back from the ground up. That I've had many dragons and fears to overcome and many things to change about myself, I still do til this day. That doesn't matter though because "they were young and young people do stupid things", so that definitely makes it all better doesn't it?
People don't just make these excuses for kids who have bullied other kids, they make it for rapist, abusers, murderers, people who commit crimes and were shot by the cops. People make excuses for a lot of bad people who did bad things, some worse then others.
No matter the offense though, the outcomes are always the same, someone being in pain from another persons actions and other people making that pain worse by making excuses for that person that did wrong.
I write this because I saw just the other day one of the people that bullied me has become some sort of celebrity chef, which I don't care that he got that career. I care that I haven't seen that persons face 15yrs and to see it again brings it all back, everything they did and everything they said just comes rushing back and it's hard to handle.
Sure it feels a little unfair that the universe has been kind to him, while it's still kicking my ass no matter how hard I try to achieve my own goals and dreams or that I fight everyday to do so. However, that's not the only hard part. The hardest part is seeing that persons face again and reliving in your mind that time in your life you so wish wouldn't have happened to you. So, I can feel upset about that. I've at least earned that right.
So.......................
PEOPLE OF THE WORLD STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR BAD PEOPLE AND BLAMING THE VICTIM AND TELLING THEM TO GET OVER IT! Just STOP!!!!
Bullying is WRONG
RAPE (or any kind of sexual abuse) is WRONG
Physically abusing someone is WRONG
Holding up a liquor store at gun point is WRONG
Stop making excuses for bad people; it just makes them feel it's okay do bad things. Everybody should be held accountable for their actions. You can't justify it away.
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