Why Do We Even Listen to Society? Body Shaming is WRONG

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

Since when did we start to be too skinny or fat to be happy?

Since when did people start to go to surgeries just because they thought they weren't attractive enough? You don't have an answer, do you?

We are all fragile human beings. Why did we let the society to evolve to be like this?

My own experience about this is that apparently I'm too "fat" (5'5 64kg) to be attractive. What the fuck? According to society I should be looking like this:

Well, okay. Let's just get over THE FACT, that I'll never look like that. And it's just alright.

Why do curvy girls shame skinny ones? And the other way around? Why? Will it make you feel better about yourself? Probably not.

To me....

I also hate how people are body-shaming men.

Just stop doing this, people. Why do we have to make people cry? Why are we wasting time on making others feel bad? We only have one life to live. Better make it worth-it!

Just be yourself, dear people - everybody else is already taken. 💙

#bodyshaming #BATTLEROYALE #TeamRJ

~Isela🐱💙

[Fathoms77]

Body-shaming is indeed wrong. It just adds to the rampant self-esteem and self-image problem that is turning into an epidemic.

I do, however, reserve the right to call someone out who refuses to take responsibility for his or her own life, and flush their health down the toilet. Because it's not THEY who pay the price but all the rest of us... in a world of socialized medicine, the healthy pay for the unhealthy. Take away somebody's pristine health insurance and watch how fast they start caring for themselves. When everyone has to pay for everyone else, than everyone's health is everyone's business.

It's a system doomed to fail but hey, it's what we've chosen.

[bloodmountain1990]

What about people who have health issues that don't smoke, drink heavily, and have bad diets?

Those people you mentioned exists but should people go bankrupt because they can't afford health insurance, medicine and treatments?

For example, I almost had to drop out of college when I broke my wrist. A good chunk of my college savings went to pay off medical bills instead.

[Fathoms77]

@bloodmountain1990 It isn't difficult to determine what is self-inflicted and what isn't, despite our desperate desire to create a gray area for everything. Insurance was always meant to cover the accidental, the things we can't possibly control; it was never meant to give us all license to live like slobs and continually steal from everyone else in order to keep doing so.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yes, and I am not excusing that but just because there's people abusing the system and living like slobs doesn't mean it should be ruined for the people who truly need health care and have a freak accident or get sick from something not self induced.

[Fathoms77]

@bloodmountain1990 Like I said, that's what insurance is for. The freak accidents, the things you can't control. If it's self-inflicted, no, other people should not be paying for your care. That's all I'm saying.

[Noxifer626]

Sure, because a system ruled by private companies that only care about profit and don't give an actual shit about people is so much more effective.

[Anonymous]

No matter what we do, no matter where we go, we will always find judgmental behavior and thought. However, instead of constantly trying to defend ourselves all the time, we should listen to the criticisms with a grain of salt. The criticisms may seem hurtful, but if we take them with a grain of salt, we can convert the hurt into help. Maybe we can lose some weight. Maybe we can fix our hair. Maybe we can dress in a different outfit, in style, on budget. But ultimately, it's important to value yourself regardless of what you look like or what you have. And if people reject you for being you, then they have a diversity problem.

[Ratiocinative]

Does being fat make you a bad person? No, it doesn't, but being fat does make you unhealthy, less attractive, and less happy.

At 5'5" 143lbs I'd have to guess that you're a little chubby, unless you lift weights often and are stronger than most other women your height. Does that make you unattractive? No, but I guarantee if you lost 10-20 lbs you would see a huge difference in your social and romantic life.

Ask any man or woman who has gone from obese or even just overweight, to extremely fit with abs, and they will tell you the difference is night and day, especially when you lose the last 10-20 lbs and your jaw and abs really start to show. You will go from little to no attention from the opposite sex, to them coming up to you all the time.

You're only 15, so I assume you're in high school. Kids tease all the time in high school for anything they can think of. In the real world, adults rarely care what you look like as long as you aren't trying to tell people what to think. If a fat woman goes around telling people that she's beautiful and that anyone who doesn't think she is just can't handle a real woman, then yes, people will probably mock her mercilessly.

If, on the other hand, a fat woman acts like a normal person, and just has normal friendly conversation with people, and doesn't go around telling men they need to say she's beautiful or else they're part of the oppressive patriarchal society, then people aren't going to care what you weigh.

Sure, there are some people out there who are jerks and make fun of fat people for no reason, but one thing everyone needs to learn in life is that unless you've done something to offend someone, people treat you based upon how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about you. If some random stranger comes up and insults you for no reason, I can guarantee its because they are unhappy with themselves. If someone is happy and enjoying their life then the though of insulting some random stranger for no reason won't even cross their mind.

[3Didnt7say]

Why do we listen to the society? You're forgetting that we ARE the society if you want change then go out there and be the change you want there to be. Don't ask other people to do what you're not doing and even if they don't you can't really force them to like what you like ever. I'm trying to be negative here but its the naked truth no sugar coating, HUAMNITY can never fixed the reason being that your version of a better world and my version of better are completely different to each other and or the next person. So the closest we're ever gon' get to a perfect world is by really being what we want the change to look like and hope for the best. Because from i can see society NEVER stick up for skinny people or even try to build up the skinny people's confidence its always feel sorry for FAT people and boost their confidence by bringing down skinny people because somehow people have it screwed in their head that's you can't complain about being skinny unless you anorexic skinny or really FAT or on the chubby side anything inbtween that get overlooked😏🙄.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

Mine isn't really about my body even though I do work out and eat healthy. It's about my face. I don't have an attractive face, so I work hard at trying to have a nice body to compensate for that, but it doesn't work. The face is more important than the body, and if it wasn't for the fact that I want to be healthy, I probably would have let myself go a long time ago. I actually have when I was in High School. When I was a teen, I let myself go because I was bullied about my face so much. When I hit my 20's, I started to cry because I realized I let my health and body go. So I worked hard on getting a nice body again.

I just turned 30 today, and I used to hope that once I hit a certain age, people would stop caring so much, but unfortunately that hasn't happened for me yet. So instead, I plan to try hard in my 30's not to care so much about what people think and just enjoy life. It's something I should have started in my 20's instead of wasting them worrying about what people thought. I know it's going to take some time, and it won't happen overnight. However, I don't want to spend my 30's avoiding going out in crowds just because someone might make a snide remark about my face. I don't want to wait until I am old and grey to wait for acceptance. It's something I have to work on even on the internet. I never talk about it around people I know. It's something I keep to myself, and I act happy around everyone. Now I am going to try and turn that to real happiness. So I need to do my best to do what people have been telling me for years to do. Think positive thoughts.

I might even write a MyTake on it.

[Anonymous]

It is wrong. I saw a woman been body shamed at work and it was horrible. She is petite, physically weak and easily intimidated by other women. I remember she was pregnant and a lady told her she was as big as a house, she said it very loudly and walked off laughing, the lady was very hurt. Then I was at a meeting with her when she returned after maternity leave and another female manager was there and said to her, I can't imagine you pregnant do you have any photos. To me it was questioning how this lady could produce children like her. Thankfully the lady said no as that lady could have bullied her more. Another time she went to collect a file from another office with another lady. The manager that commented on her while pregnant, noticed the file. Unfortunately the lady then said oh it was very heavy it took too colleagues to carry it. The other girl stood up and went x is a weed, I had to carry it the whole way. X then went I did carry it, however the girl went yeah out the office door then you gave it to me. In all occasions they made x look weak as she was unable to stand up for herself, as well as not been their equal

[nog6422]

Since when did we start to be too skinny or fat to be happy?

Well we've only really started getting fat in the last century or so. Before that only people like kings were fat and they were pretty happy.

Since when did people start to go to surgeries just because they thought they weren't attractive enough?

For thousands of years according to Wikipedia.

You don't have an answer, do you?

Actually I do.

Why did we let the society to evolve to be like this?

Why wouldn't we?

My own experience about this is that apparently I'm too "fat" (5'5 64kg) to be attractive. What the fuck?

That's actually about a 23.6 BMI which is completely normal. Not fat by any standards.

Why do curvy girls shame skinny ones?

Not all do. Some do because they want to feel better about themselves.

And the other way around? Why?

Again, not all do. But some do to feel better about themselves.

Will it make you feel better about yourself?

Apparently so.

Why do we have to make people cry? Why are we wasting time on making others feel bad?

What do you mean "we"? I don't do that.

[AleDeEurope]

Being in the science field has to be so difficult nowadays. You can prove people that being fat is detrimental, that it not only affects your looks, but it also affects your brain, that you're more likely to be less happy if you're fat, that you're more likely to get a heart stroke if you're fat...
You can prove all these and you'll get called a fat shamer, an asshole... like if it's your fault that nature works this way.

You're right, we should stop listening to society. We should stop listening to all those "it's ok to be fat" comments, and we should start listening to doctors and specialists. If they say being fat is bad, then stop trying to make it ok.

[Emmdk]

No we should encourage people to lose weight instead of shaming them into losing weight. there's a difference

[AleDeEurope]

@Emmdk How is "you're going to die" not encouraging enough?

[redeyemindtricks]

I'm fully with ya... as long as you're allowing for the difference between body-shaming (= bad) and genuine concern for someone's health (= not bad at all).

Like, if it's obvious enough that someone is engaging in self-destructive habits (massive weight gain over a short period... or the opposite, as from anorexia/bulimia nervosa), then a good friend/partner WILL call that out.
With tact, of course -- and empathy. And NOT shame. But, friends/partners look out for each other.

Beyond that... YES! Well said, girlfriend. (:

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

Of course I allow that!:)

[TheFlak38]

It always depends on the person's status how someone defines body shaming. When I tell a horrible fat cunt she should stop eating because she's too heavy and being overweight is NOT healthy, call it body shaming or not, Im realistic and warn her about what she's going to suffer.
When I have horrible fat people living on benefits that WE are paying with OUR taxes, I will show no respect to these biological ruins.
www.telegraph.co.uk/.../...but-refuse-to-diet.html

[Amuro]

If someone it doing something unhealthy tell them. If they are anorexic tell them they are killing themselves. If they are way too fat and all they do is eat and don't exercise tell them. They are killing themselves it's no better than someone chain smocking cigarettes, drinking every day, or snorting Cocaine every day. Doing these things are unhealthy and they will kill you.

Most people in America are fat it's true it's not a men's or women's issue it's a people issue. Getting at a healthy weight is not an issue of dieting it's about changing your lifestyle and changing the way you eat.

Could you answer my question.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2112691-was-i-wrong-to-ask-for-the-money-back

[RandomBritishGuy94]

Shaming is the wrong way to go but the whole "plus size" movement doesn't help people getting healthy.

In the UK being large is actually hurting Society because of the NHS. If you pay your own medical bills fine but you should respect those who otherwise look after you.

As long as you're healthy looks shouldn't matter but the fact is they do. It's nature to be attracted to a set type of person. Being large normally means you're unhealthy and well you can find people interested in you that number is small.

[EchoOfLife]

here's my thoughts, I think shaming someones body is insensitive and wrong. Who are you to judge someone else. I think if you are comfortable in your skin, then do you. HOWEVER, I think you can strive and work to be the best you, you can be. Maybe if you are 300 pounds you may be comfortable in your body, but do you feel thats the best you can be? there's a difference between body shaming and being healthy.

So, in short, NEVER EVER SHAME SOMEONE, and if you are comfortable so be it. HOWEVER, don't give up there, always strive to be the best you, you can be!

[RationalMale]

Is it wrong to shame people for drinking too much, since consuming alcohol will damage your health or possibly mess up your life?

Is it wrong to shame people for smoking, since that can give you a hundred different health problems?

Then why is it wrong to shame obese people, for the fact that obesity can give you a hundred different health problems?

[Emmdk]

At the beginning she writes that we should encourage people instead of shaming them. So instead of shaming a fat person for being fat, we should really just try to help them into realizing it would be better to lose some weight

[Shorty1991]

I have no sympathy for those people, but yes it is wrong to shame them since its their lives and has nothing to do with you. You think that shaming them is going to make them listen to you. No. Body shamers are people who choose to pick on others to make themselves feel better. Or they just have nothing going on in their boring lives when all they can do is pick on people

[LittleSally]

You're missing the entire point...
Shaming is wrong. Regardless of what - if they're doing it only to themselves. Would you shame a suicidal person for being suicidal?
Think a little...

[RationalMale]

@LittleSally. Ever seen Terminator 3, where John Connor is desparing in the crypt? So Arnold grabs him, picks him up by the throat, and insults him? John finds his spine and arnold drops him, saying 'anger is more useful than despair.'

[LittleSally]

So... the point of this little story of yours is that you feel despair when you don't shame someone?

P. S.
Because people who get shamed don't feel anger - they feel deeper despair. In case this eluded you.
media3.giphy.com/media/xscMM0IVJX20w/200_s.gif

[RationalMale]

@LittleSally Simple point. I'm sorry it eluded you.

When someone is despairing, it can be extremely hard to raise their spirits and move them to act, as you may have discovered if you talk to down people. Anger inspires people to action and takes their mind off whatever is moving them to despair.

[LittleSally]

You're not getting it at all... You're saying the exact opposite of what people usually do and how they usually feel. This may be how you are - but most people fall into despair, not anger... And if you really believed that despair is bad - then you should probably stop shaming others for things that are none of your concern... if you really Do care about them and aren't just doing it to make yourself feel like a 'better person'.

[Emmdk]

@Jordank922 I don't agree with you. But we just got different perspectives on the matter. Please mind your language. It won't cost you anything.

[Shorty1991]

@Jordank922 so you think that shaming is going to make them listen to you?
Not shaming it doesn't necessarily mean that being fat is portrayed as a good thing. You can still be against it but not resort to lowering yourself to being a childish bully. That's school boy stuff. If those fat people complain about their health, then surely they'll have the sense to do something about it themselves. If they choose not to, then be it on their own heads if anything happens to them because of weight issues. But if those people are still healthy enough, them just leave them be. They'll live their lives and we'll live ours. This is also one of the reasons that fat people pick on the anorexic or skinny people, because they ask for it by picking on the fat ones first. Yes obesity can give you a hundred different health problems. But it can also be down to genetics. I've seen plenty of obese people live until they are a ripe old age.

[RationalMale]

@Shorty1991 Actually, yes I think shaming people for being fat will drastically encourage them to get in better shape.

[Shorty1991]

Well if that's the way you want to go about it then go ahead. But I don't see the point on lowering myself to that level. I'll tell you something, when I was at primary school I was fat and I got picked on. Plus I could run a lot faster than most skinny or slim people in my class. None of the childish bullying motivated me to to anything about myself. I was fat, but I was happy and healthy. I knew a dude that was older than me, who used to pick on me every time he seen me. When I got to secondary school I got taller and started losing weight. The next time I seen him he had a big belly and bigger tits than me. So just watch. My dad used to also pick on me. He is now an alcoholic with a belly the size of a barrel. So just watch, coz karma can come back and bite you. I don't pick on anyone because I've been through bullying myself and can relate to anyone a little overweight. But from what I've seen, the people who had the cheek to diss me back then have all turned out like that

[Shorty1991]

Themselves. Also people who were once like that themselves have the audacity to pick on other overweight people. Well that just makes them hypocrites.

[RationalMale]

@Shorty1991 "Karma" doesn't make people fat. If people have the discipline to eat healthy and exercise, the vast majority of them will be a healthy weight. A tiny fraction have medical issues.

[Shorty1991]

Maybe I'm being superstitious but that is honestly what's happens to most of those people who picked on me. Not all skinny people eat in moderation either. If they are brought up on bran flakes and porridge or humus when they are younger and are very rarely allowed a treat. They are more likely to pig out when they get older. I've just said that I was overweight, happy and healthy when I was a kid. I had no illnesses or any health problems. Of course obesity in USA and obesity in the UK aren't exactly the same. The USA just go OTT super sizing everything.

[fuqthegovt]

Sure I have an answer: since the day humans came down from the trees and probably before when the dinosaurs went extinct and mammals took over. Wanting to mate with what is attractive (generally that doesn't include fat, deformities, or anything that gives off a vibe of bad genes) while wanting to avoid what is unattractive is the basis of evolution with every animal, including humans. It's nature's version of selective breeding. That's probably why fat- or ugly-shaming is so much fun and amusing (Nicole Arbor demonstrates this well, even if she does piss off a lot of fat people or people that are insecure with themselves for other good/obvious reasons), on some level everyone is hardwired to do so and it's instinctive.

[MaLifeBeLikeOooAaah]

Humans are sheep and insecure pussies that's why they follow the crowd.

But encouraging the ignorant fat people won't work... They should know they're costing the government money, wasting time and damaging themselves mentally and physically. You can encourage them however with responses like "I'm beatiful being big" annoys me... fact, you're not.

Nice my take :)

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

Thanks :)

[bloodmountain1990]

Appearance/body shaming is wrong but on the flip side of that, no one should be shamed for not finding someone attractive.

For example, I've had times where a girl used misleading pictures and info and said she was average but when I met them, they were obese. Aren't they shaming themselves because they're hiding what they look like?

I personally hate being in those situations because I'm not gonna insult them for how they look but I'm also not gonna lead them on and tell them they're attractive when I don't think they are. Appearance may not be everything but it matters somewhat.

[Hidden_P]

Fully with you.

But I do believe full body acceptance is wrong. We need that line that says "love you need a diet" but the rules correctly are so fine and it's ridiculous. I agree with you.

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

True :)

[JensonStatement]

Shaming is wrong in every form but people should also know what is healthy and that's what most people now forgot. They all want to be that perfect or only listen to them selfs.
According to men; men listen up to society and society in beauty is mostly ruled by women.
A few men in the fashion indusrty do but mostly women.
Example: Most people said brades were ulgy. Now Kylie has them, every girl wants to. Kim K started the fat ass show with Nick Minaj and now everybody wants to twerk and have fat ass while first it was ugly.
So for once and for all; shaming is ugly but be careful with your weight because over 100kg is not healthy at al and under 40kg also.

[Winter_Storm_Guy]

I like this very well done thanks for sharing your awesome
i agree it's wrong to shame people based on their body image
or their body size we are all normal it's society that has the problem

:) ;) :D :-)

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

Thank you

[Winter_Storm_Guy]

You're Welcome :)

[dipta]

It's funny how the fault lies always with somebody else.
I'm not saying that there isn't body shaming and that it doesn't pay a cruel part in the diet's world, but there are many people who belittle themselves spontaneously, i. e. they envy the body of other people without anyone even having said anything to them. Gotta blame the mirrors then.

[Nothanks700]

I think it's messed up when people make snide comments about me being skinny. Why is that acceptable? Would you make comments to someone about them being fat? Ofcousrre not, that's incredibly insensitive and rude. Just don't comment on people's body shape; take care of your own how you want- that's it.

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

Okay, that's your opinion