What It Takes to be a "Real Man"

LadyTerror

I'm just gonna get to the point. This is what I consider a real man.

1. He should be 10 feet tall

Tall guys are more manly. They can show dominance over other men using their height and make you feel protected. Not to mention, their babies will be tall too.

What It Takes to be a "Real Man"

2. He should be able to lift 2 tons

The days when people say "A man should be able to carry his woman!" are over. Men now should be able to carry at least 260 women on their shoulders. Strength is another sign of manliness because as I said above, it makes you feel protected. Men with strong muscles are also better to look at.

3. He should have a beard this long

Maintaining a beard that long shows that he can also take good care of his family.

What It Takes to be a "Real Man"

4. He should have slept with at least 22 billion women

I know that's more than the world's population, but I still think it's reasonable. I want a man who knows what he's doing.

5. He should be 18 inches down there

Go big or go home.

What It Takes to be a "Real Man"

6. He should have taken care of all of his enemies

A real man knows how to protect his family. And if that means beating all of his enemies in a fair fight and even killing them if needed, so be it.

7. He owns literally all of the wealth in the world

I need a man who can provide for me. He needs to be so rich that even cultures that don't have a concept for money would sell everything they have to him. If he can't even do that, gtfo!

What It Takes to be a "Real Man"

For those of you that didn't get this already, yes this is indeed satire. For the men who really try to live up to these standards, good luck and try not to hurt yourself.

What It Takes to be a "Real Man"
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  • Jxpxtxr
    I wanna put an emphasise on #3! Merlin-Beards are SOOOO important, it really hurts to witness their increasing disappearance from every day life!
    Is this still revelant?
    • Jxpxtxr

      *emphasis

    • LadyTerror

      Yes. And fun to play with too

    • Jxpxtxr

      Omg yes! All the cute little braids you can make and flowers you can put into them <3

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Anonymous
    Oh, it's only satire. I already thought I was real man. :(
    xD
  • Anonymous
    yeah, cause, a woman knows how to be a man
    • LadyTerror

      Read the take

    • Anonymous

      i know, i saw the things you put in it, it's obviously satirical but, to the point, im just saying, yeah, cause a woman knows how to be a man, and all

  • Anonymous
    Yawn, yet another pointless myTake.
  • Anonymous
    What i sense is actually a girl who's insecure about herself and has been hurt by men before... so common in women today. So sad.
    • LadyTerror

      I'm not sure if you read till the end but ok

    • Anonymous

      i did, what i was trying to say is that i feel something has hurt you in the past

    • LadyTerror

      I'm assuming you didn't read the part where I said that this is satire (which was obvious enough)

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