When someone tells you 'how to' do or be something, it will always be slightly or totally subjective. Being a real man means different things to different men, to women, to different cultures, to different religions and so fourth and so on. Obviously, I'm not a man, but I am a woman who has always had good men in her life, and from observing them and what I think makes them strong real men, I came up with a list of things that I think separate them and make them stand out as real men in my eyes.
1. A man acts as both a leader and a role model
Whether it's at school, work, as a father, as a husband, or as a friend, being a role model sets you apart and gives those in your care someone to look up to and allows you to be someone who deserves the respect of others by virtue of how you treat others in your own actions. You set a positive example for friends and family as to the kind of person you are and in turn would hope that they are too or would hope to become.
Being a leader is a big part of that. It's knowing when to not just follow to fit in or to blend or because you think it's cool, but to know your own mind, and break from the pack when necessary in order to accomplish your goals in life, or distance yourself from those seeking to bring you down. It also means taking up the role in the literal sense where you are providing strong leadership at your job, school, or in other facets of your life.
2. A man values his health and takes pride in his appearance
Whether you're a man or a woman, no one can function well or optimally if they are constantly sick, tired, beat up, don't exercise or eat right, and are just run down due to lack of personal self care. A real man cannot take care of his family or those important in his life or those things that matter the most if he's always exhausted or ignoring health issues.
When it comes to appearance, grooming and hygiene are important in regards to valuing oneself, and presenting oneself to the world which often go hand in hand with health and vitality. I've never known a man who constantly looks slovenly and unkempt to be happy or healthy or doing well in life. Even if you're faking it until you make it, people tend to take those more seriously who do put at least some sort of effort forth to show they at least care enough about themselves to try in life.
3. A man is true to his word and his friends
Real men keep their promises because it let's others know that you are true to your word, you are a trustworthy individual, and they tend not to doubt you and what you can do or say you'll do because of it. Often going hand in hand with this is that real men have strong bonds with their friends and treat them as brothers or as family, rather than people they can use to get something out of or who aren't worthy of their precious time.
4. A man takes responsibility for his actions
When you turn 18, you become an adult who is more than capable of understanding his mistakes and that his actions can have consequences. Adopting a lifestyle of blaming the world or others as an adult for ones actions, shows a high level of immaturity. At some point, one must learn that if you screw up, you've got to own that, and try to make it right, and then move on so you don't make the same mistakes over and over again, rather than blaming everything and everyone for things that are very much in your own control.
5. A man has real goals, dreams, and ambitions in life
Even if it is day one and you've decided this is your path in life, that is a start and something to strive for and work for or if you're already out there reaching for your dreams and accomplishing them and ticking off all your boxes, you're on the way in life. However, having no plans, no dreams, no ambitions beyond just waking up and hoping you don't die today, puts you in a mediocre category where that is the best you can ever hope for.
Ambitions, goals, and dreams are not something that are out of reach of any man no matter your social, physical, or economic standing in life. Putting in that effort and trying to be better than you were yesterday, is something that will push you into that leadership and role model role and will lead you to a path of no regrets in life and a life that is more than just blending in until you fade out.
6. A man knows his own worth
One of the most disheartening things is when a man does not know his own worth. If you're good at something, own that, and be proud of it, and don't let people tell you any less. Don't put down your strengths and talents or make it seem like you have none or no value or worse buy into anyone telling you that you are worth nothing. In terms of relationships, you might not be or feel like you're God's gift to women as told by them, but know you still have value. Use those brains, that humor, and be confident in it and yourself.
You don't need 100 women to see that, you just need the one. Also know your worth in terms of knowing that you are indeed better than a situation. It serves no purpose to be in a relationship, family, friend, or lover, where someone is just using and abusing you and treating you like nothing. Know that you are better than that kind of treatment and that you deserve to be treated like you would treat others. If you don't know your own worth, you can't expect others to know it either.
7. A man respects the women in his life
Just as you must in the above, know your own worth and value, you must know the worth of the women in your life whether that be your girlfriend, or you're wife, or your mother. In a relationship, if you say a woman is important to you and you love her, it should never be a struggle to want to be with her, to want to share everything with her, to want to take care of her, and treat her like a queen and likewise for her to treat you like a king. You prove this with your actions, how you speak about her, how you have a willingness to protect her, how you respect her and treat her, and most of all in how you love her. Treating your own mother with respect and love is often a foundation for this.
8. A real man takes care of himself and his family
Being able to work hard and pay ones own way in this world is part of being a real man. Everyone at some point will most likely fall on hard times, but it's what you do when you get there. There are men that have to move back home who just stay and never move beyond that point because they stop trying to be and do anything other than accept handouts. Everyone is fighting to stay financially afloat. Ev-er-y-one!
Find a way to support yourself, because when you start from there, it allows you to be able to do, see, and accomplish more than being stuck in your own childhood and always wanting for more, but feeling as though you don't have the ability or don't want to try to get beyond that life. Conversely when it's not just you, but you and a family, a real man does everything he can to make sure his family is taken care of. They don't leave when times get tough, they don't stop contributing their share, they fight for their family unit because it's important to them.
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