My personal steps on being a real man.

My personal steps on being a real man.

Hello guys, this will be my first myTake! It's my first time to write about something so I hope you like what I'll be discussing!

So firstly, I am a highly sensitive male and I only have a few friends, most of them are guys. I'm also close with my brothers and my uncles as they taught me the real meaning of masculinity. Fortunately, my loved ones have unconditional support for me being an HSP even though I'm the only one in our group of friends who hasn't dated. I never had a girlfriend but never did I felt alone because I know that happiness comes from within.

Anyway without further ado, I'll be sharing the things my brothers taught me about real masculinity.

1.) He respects himself

His body, his family and his properties are treated with respect. He has complete virtue towards everyone around him and acts like a decent individual towards people he meet. At the same time, he will not let anyone step on him no matter who that person is whether men or women, he will not tolerate being stepped on.

2.) He is generous

From being generous for himself, he's also generous to other people. He helps the ones in need and gives a hand to helpless people. A real man is also chivalrous to his girlfriend/wife (occasionally) and doesn't need anything in return, not that he'll turn down the help given to him, but it just means that he doesn't rely on help from others and if he receives it, that will be a lucky bonus for him.

3.) He lifts other people up

Unlike those men who put people down in order to feel better about themselves, he instead lifts others up in order to feel good about himself. He wants everybody to feel good about themselves and spread this attitude towards others. A real man is willing to share his success to the ones who supports him and inspires others to do the same as well!

4.) He knows his worth

A real man will NOT chase after a person who doesn't want to be with him. Just like pursuing a relationship with a woman, he doesn't tolerate mind games like: making him jealous or being talked down upon. He has a high value and will leave that person behind if he knows that the woman is just pushing him away (whether serious or just being hard to get).

5.) He's able to stop fights rather than creating it

Just like the bouncer in clubs, he won't let others create chaos in public places. He has full discipline and expect others to act accordingly. Shall there be a rumble, he won't hesitate to stop the parties getting physical (although I admit I still have yet to get fit in order to be able to do this because I'm just overweight).

6.) He challenges himself

Challenges that involves improvement of skills, knowledge, abilities and attitude. He pushes himself to his limits and at the same time, he accepts his flaws or any other shortcoming he has that other people may dislike as there will always be people who will either like or dislike you, nonetheless life goes forward which leads to...

7.) He knows he's not perfect

Nobody is perfect and although that doesn't mean we should own up to our mistakes, we should stop pleasing others in order to satisfy them everytime as this may lead to you losing yourself. He needs not to change for a person because he knows that if they truly are his supporter or lover, they will accept him for who he is.

8.) He appreciates the good things in life

He doesn't ask for more and values the things he have. He also is grateful towards the people who love him, especially to his family, relatives, girlfriend/wife and children (assuming he's a dad). If he has the ones making him feel great, then he gives back as well, that's the part of showing gratitude, you're not only thankful but you're also investing the same efforts to the ones who do for you.

9.) He gets things done

When he says he will do something, he grants his words and move. If he has goals in life, he never stops to achieve it, he will do everything he can to get it. He never lets himself get sidetracked by any obstacles in life and he manages to get past the obstacle and strive to attain the goal he desires. Quitting isn't a part of his vocabulary, and he's serious on how to achieve his dreams. He pursues the things he want in life and completes the objective but also knows not to force things.

All these traits may or may not fit to your idea of being a real man but hey, end of the day valuing your emotions and loving yourself as a man is part of being a positive influence to stop this toxic masculinity from spreading. Though being strong is also one thing a real man must do in tough times, as a matter of fact strike the perfect balance!

Thanks for reading, once again I hope you like this!

My personal steps on being a real man.
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Smoke-n-Growls
    People are getting up in arms about why this is gendered, but honestly it just seems to me like this is one dude's personal list of what he's aspiring to.

    These qualities are all great - and things women can and do aspire to, as well. It's just that for the author these are the things he's using as benchmarks to qualify himself as a "real man". Aside from gating his masculinity when he doesn't need to, I'm failing to see a problem with it. He doesn't need to cut himself off from being considered a "real man" unless he attains these standards for himself, but it sounds to me more like he's treating these as steps and guides for himself more than anything.

    And I think that's admirable, and it makes his goals clear and actionable.

    I mean, I'm bi, so I don't care if the person I see is male, female or anywhere in between or outside - these qualities all register to me as desirable and high value. Man, woman, enby - if you exhibit these qualities consistently and without bitching, then I think you'd be a "real catch".

    Nice list and I agree that these points are all fantastic qualities. Are they strictly "masculine"? No, but I'm proud of the author for owning them for himself.

    As for point 5 - being overweight doesn't mean you can't stop a fight. Most times, sheer presence, clear mind, and strong emotional discipline combined with situational awareness will help you de-escalate a situation. I'd suggest martial arts - not brawling, though. Something structured with teachers who will teach you when a fight is necessary and how to de-escalate. I'm a short woman, but I've been able to de-escalate and extract myself and friends from dangerous situations just out of sheer awareness and presence. Especially if the bar fight crowd is your most common threat, just learning how to talk a drunk down from a confrontation is enough.

    Cool list, and keep doing your brothers and uncles proud.
    LikeDisagree 11 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thanks for the positive feedback!

    • Kaeleigh1

      I agree! I think this post by JohnGarcia was refreshing and very positive! Only thing I would add is let the strongest and kindest male of all, Father God teach u (and me and all of us,) and to help a person to always have humility and honesty spoken in kindness. Honestly I felt so happy and refreshed when I read your post above! Stay encouraged!

  • MzAsh
    Good content! 💜
    Like 7 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • I don't really see why this myTake is gendered. These sound like generic traits that any (adult) human should have, regardless of their gender. Otherwise, I agree. The world would be a better place if more people, whether male or female, had the characteristics and personality listed in your take.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • JackSmy

      @Tiffany_Taylor_Made Why is it 'gendered'? BECAUSE HE IS A GUY!! DUH!!! How can a man speak for a woman, even when most of the things he said do apply to both genders!!!
      If he had posted and said it was for both genders, some woman would bitch and complain HE is SPEAKING FOR WOMEN, and how can he KNOW!!
      Can't you just read what he posted, like it, and say it is good, without having to find some kind of fault with EVERYTHING?

    • @JackSmy: I read the whole thing sweetheart and directly said I agreed with it, but commented that it didn't need to be gendered. I understand he's a guy, but he's also a human too. The characteristics and personality traits that he listed are all humanist traits, not masculine/male-only traits. Having self-respect, generosity, helpfulness, self-worth, peace, the will to challenge yourself, knowledge of your imperfections, value in life, and the will to accomplish things isn't just for men. Thus, with this same article, he can speak on behalf of how humans can become better humans without mentioning gender at all. For example, if he replaced every instance of "man" and related pronouns with "person" and changed "real" to "good," it would still make sense.

    • JackSmy

      @Tiffany_Taylor_Made Thanks for the Condescending "Sweetheart" comment, and I accept everything that you said, and understood, except that you had to comment that is was "gendered" and for the reason I posted in my response, my dear! :)
      Best wishes, and not wanting to start anything, but I've been beaten up, so many times, on here, by women, while trying to make a good point, VALIDATING their equality, only to be shit on, because of one single word, or something someone misread.

    • Show All
  • Tonytoutouni123
    To all the idiots screaming "SEXIST and GENDER blah blah blah": This MyTake writer is writing about HIS STEPS in HIS LIFE! He IS a MAN!
    He never said that women can't have these goals too, but since he is a man, it is completely understandable that he chose the title that way.
    What's so hard to understand about that?
    You feminists have no idea how annoying you are 🙄

    Great MyTake!
    Like 2 People
    • There is only one thing I don't like about your MyTake: the term "toxic masculinity." What is that supposed to be? Don't let anyone tell you that there is such a thing. Being asshole or criminal or whatever, it is not something manly.

  • bamesjond0069
    Wtf is with all these whiny ass girls hating on this? Lmfao.

    While some of these are specifically masculine ie being able to stop fights. Some are not. However a womans list would certainly have different things on here. Either because there are feminine qualities that would replace the masculine ones and because some general ones are de prioritized in importance. Ie a real woman is not necessarily a high achiever out to conquer the world and get things done.
    Like 2 People
  • Virginmartha
    Shouldn't these qualities be gender neutral. I mean...🤮
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    • Sorry if you think this myTake is sexist.

    • @Virginmartha
      No they shouldnโ€™t. They can be gender neutral but they donโ€™t have to be. He could have said โ€žpersonโ€œ instead of man, but there is no need at all for this, since he IS a man! These steps are HIS personal steps to become a good man, and obviously not a good woman. You feminists are so annoying ๐Ÿ™„ and not very bright either.. This MyTake is not sexist at all!

    • Calm down @Tonytoutouni123 it's to early to be this pressed

  • Ignore these people who complain about this myTake being gendered, it's your personal steps. I don't know why people can't be grateful of the things nowadays. Anyway this Take is awesome. 😒
    Like 6 People
  • Bubbles45
    Sounds like you have a bright future, good luck to you :)
    Like 3 People
  • keenmind2007
    Great first my take and some excellent points on the discussion.
    Like 3 People
  • Bee-Hatch
    Maybe rephrase the question as how to be an adult, and productive member of society? These are hardly gender specific traits
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    • It was not a question it is a mytake about his view on his personal journey to be a real man as in what attributes he follows.

      It is his view so technically he need not change anything its people who needs to just read his experience and his story

    • Bee-Hatch

      Bit late to the party but we'll done for trying. And congrats on not fully grasping what's been said in the replies.

    • Better late than never ๐Ÿ˜‰, and I think its well grasped that's why cared enough to reply ๐Ÿ˜Œ

  • Bat-Perv
    10. Protects & takes care of his own.
    "5.) He's able to stop fights rather than creating it" I'm all for diffusing conflict and unnecessary fights but that's a mistake to get involved unless it relates to you in some way. Two guys in a nightclub want to fight? Let them or risk getting shot or stabbed. You see a couple physically fighting, stay away otherwise you may find yourself in a court of law for assault and 2 willing parties willing to testify against you. Different if its a guy hassling your sister or your backing up your friend.
    Like 1 Person
  • OceanMelon
    This was a great My Take.
    Ignore the people saying this should be gender neutral, these are your PERSONAL steps on being a real man.
    Like 2 People
  • Bananaman177
  • Cozybcuz
    I'm not sure I'd define this as masculine considering that a woman who has all or most of these virtues would not necessarily be considered masculine. I think it's more of a life philosophy with a couple of principles/virtues that helps to be a decent person. Although I guess some people would call that being a real man. Either way I view masculinity and femininity as arbitrary traits which definitions just follows the current norm of society. I'd argue that you should not even consider such things, rather look to find your own way as you more or less have done. So I guess being a real person, your own person.
  • dpy87
    Absolutely, it doesn't have to come from physical strength. Actually guys that try to act too masculine come off as overcompensating.
    Like 1 Person
  • b5fan
    Sorry. A real man never uses the term toxic masculinity. That term is misandry.
    Like 2 People
  • MountAverage
    Yeah, those are all great qualities. Basically all the things these self-proclaimed "alpha males" are not.
  • Not_Average
    Can't disagree with any of this although I'd think this isn't gender exclusive.
  • Kaeleigh1
    This is awesome and I totally agree! Thanks for sharing!
    Like 1 Person
  • WrestlingHero01
    "Real man" is just a no true scotsman fallacy. All men are real men.
  • lucky840
    💕 perfect timing 💕
    Thank you 💗
    Like 2 People
  • JackSmy
    Well said, Good Sir.
    Like 2 People
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