So many people have answered: "Because men are equal to women" or "I don’t have to invite the girl if she wants to be equal, she should pay” “You ask, you pay, if you want equality” “Why should I give her chocolates, she can get it herself”. Inviting a girl dinner or giving her chocolates or whatever doesn't make her equal. Equality is not based how financially stable you are, what if someone is poor and can’t pay for dinner? Does it make her or him inferior? Absolutely not! Another example; I’ve invited my mom to dinner a few times, even though I knew she could paid for us, but I did it because I want to show her I appreciate her, I think she deserves the treat, furthermore it’s a sign of generosity. It doesn't make her inferior than me. And she may have been the one who asks, but I’m willing to pay for her, my treat no matter who asks. Many men who engage in what they perceive to be “gentlemanly behavior,” it is simply a means to an end. Either they believe that women are a weaker sex more in need of help performing basic tasks, or they assume that enough “nice” gestures piled up one after the other will inevitably result in sex. And neither of these perceptions are healthy; neither of them are accurate or positive. It’s the woman’s right to choose if she wants to give herself or not, no matter what the man do, how he is, what he does, etc. Her body, her choice.
Equality is not based on the roles we have, men and women were made equal, but their bodies were made different so their behaviors are different as well. Because I have a vagina it doesn't make me inferior, because I want to be chased by a guy it doesn't make me inferior. They think that because we demand equality, we can't demand chivalry, or any romantic actions (like pulling chairs for us, lending us their jacket etc.). If a girl wishes a guy who likes to pamper her girl with chocolates, open doors for her, pay for her dinner, does it mean she wants to live in a time when women couldn't make their own choices in life, or have a voice in determining the political state of the world? And that's the key. We don't live in that world anymore. I do understand what they’re saying “Women can only choose one avenue or the other”, but I also understand this : If the guy I'm dating wants to open the car door, lend me his jacket, or fix something broken at my house, I'm sure as hell going to let him. Why? Because that's what real freedom and equality is. Real freedom means I no longer have anything to prove, so I'm free to allow myself to be taken care of once in a while, especially by men who are only doing it to be thoughtful. But let’s not act like it takes all the time and effort in the world to be a halfway-decent guy. Seriously, it can be really simple. And we women could do the same sometimes, everyone likes to know he or she is appreciated. It’s not rocket science. The guy puts in time and effort so she knows he’s interested and appreciates her. And the girls take hours to try to look her best so he knows she’s interested and appreciates him. And if she isn’t into it, oh well. You'll at least know you tried. But, don’t go through life thinking that cutting out effort in the beginning will lead to happiness in the end. If you put garbage in, you'll get garbage out.
Men tend to be the ones who usually try to conquer the girl, and women tend to be careful when it comes to having sex with someone since ages ago, why? Because we need to know that the guy is a good person, as physically they’re stronger than us, sexual or physical abuse can happen, furthermore you can get pregnant, and since we're more emotional, we get more attached. We want to be sure that the guy is able to be kind, respectful, and thoughtful. Because this kind of chivalry doing everything possible to make a woman feel safe and acknowledged is not based on what it means to be a woman. It is acknowledging that she encounters, likely on a daily basis, many men who disrespect her humanity. She is catcalled, she is pushed, she is touched against her will, and she is talked down to and made to feel profoundly uncomfortable. She can’t tell who is following her, she doesn’t know what a man’s intentions might be, and she doesn’t want to be in certain places alone at night. And when a man makes extra effort to make sure she knows that he means no harm, that he treats her with respect and wants equally to make sure that she is okay, he is saying that he knows what we most likely feel so often. And while, in a perfect world, we would be treating both women and men with the exact same levels of deference and effort, the truth is that one group simply doesn’t need it like the other one does. The world isn’t as disrespectful to them, isn’t as damaging to their ability to walk through things freely — even at night. This kind of chivalry, the chivalry that comes from acknowledging how cruel some men can be to women, should be praised and acknowledged. It should be the kind of thing that we expect from men.
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