Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

In the Arab countries like ( Egypt- Emirates-Qatar-Saudi Arabia..etc), for a girl to get married to the person she loves is almost impossible,, and the main reason is that those countries are still strongly attached to some traditions that are getting harder and harder to follow these days...I will put the major struggles here in a list:

1-First: The father and the brother have to agree on the chosen person:

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

Well, unlike in the western world or in Europe ,, the Arab girl doesn't have much to say in her own marriage, she can meet someone and love him and everything, BUT!! in order to get married to this person and have sex with him and live with him,,, THE FATHER AND THE BROTHER HAVE TO AGREE.

I mean if the father said no FOR ANY reason he wants,, she is forced to leave this person,, and stay single and live the rest of her life virgin and living at her parent's house until...she dies (cause it is improper for a single woman to live alone/abroad ..etc)

2- Second: In order for the father or the brother to agree on this person, the person must have all these things:

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

- His "OWN" flat ... the married couple CAN NOT rent,, many marriages in the Arab culture end because the groom CAN NOT afford buying his OWN flat. ..like, can you imagine how expensive is that ?

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

- A lot of money in CASH to give to the father as a " Mahr" which is supposedly a marriage gift in the Muslim religion, and was never mentioned to be something big at all in the Quran..but THE TRADITIONS have turned it to be a big amount of money ,,, like maybe 9,000 to 10,000 USD ( Depends on the currency). Usually the father will keep it aside for the girl in the future and not take it for himself,, but it is to show THE VALUE OF THE BRIDE ,, fathers always say " Easy comes Easy go,, he should pay this to show how much does he value my girl ..and that it is not that easy to take her from me"

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

- " Shabka" ,, which are the marriage GIFT RINGs .. well, in the western culture and in Europe.. the groom will go to buy a nice ring, an affordable one for him, propose to the girl, and then meet their families to announce the news.. Well no, it is not the case.. here, the groom goes first to the girl's house to meet the father who decides the value and money for the marriage rings ,, for example he will say " ok, you have your own flat? and 9000 usd as Mahr, ok you shall buy 9,000 USD value Shabka" ..and these big ass rings are the NORM (Tradition) in the Arab world,, like the mothers would say " oooo ALL your cousins and friends have gotten those rings for marriage,,why do we settle for the less?!" .. and HEY!! those are not alone,,, there SHOULD be the other normal plain gold ring that represents marriage.

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

- Mo'akhar: and this is basically a piece of paper that the groom is obliged to sign ,, and it states that in case he decided to divorce the girl ,, he will HAVE to pay this amount of money,, and of course!!! the fathers go "WILD" on this one.." let's rip the Motha-Fucka.. just so he never dares to divorce her" .. like, what if she happened to be a cheater? a crazy woman? what if they never worked out? how can he BRAVELY sign this paper???? ,,, so yes, here is another 20,000 USD for the groom to sign on.

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

- WITHOUT A DOUBT,,,, it is almost impossible for an Arab girl to fall in love with someone who is from another race/nationality/ or religion,, cause first, if he is from another religion, then he has to convert to hers (Which is kinda understandable although rough,, but at least this necessity is mentioned in the Quran).. but can you imagine if these are the requirements from a very normal expected groom from her own race/nationality and religion and how hard they are,,, can you imagine the obstacles they will put against her choice if he is not??

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

At the end, very very few grooms meet all these requirements, or afford to get all those things,, and it happens everyday that girls are pushed to break with the one she loves,, because THE DAD didn't find him rich enough/ qualified enough/ worthy enough.... no matter much he is a good person, ambitious, smart, trustworthy, kind, loves her, respectable,,, if he couldnt get all those things and meet all these qualifications, the dad and brother have ALL the right to just say NO, sorry,,, you better find yourself someone else,,, " I won't GIVE MY DAUGHTER TO SOMEONE LIKE THAT" ,, cause yes!!! the girl is kinda a property of the dad and brother,, and yes, it is their choice of course to give something that they own to someone,,right? ..

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love

At the end..the girl is always left torn ,,, doesn't know what to do,, shall she just give up on her love to please the dad and brother and be a good kind daughter,, and not cause the family a big shame of running away and marrying the one she loves without their agreement, but live sad for the rest of her life,, missing and imagining the one she hoped she could marry?.. shall she just seek her happiness and runaway to be close to the one who has her heart? isn't it her right to choose the person whom she is going to spend the rest of her life with ? can't she at least choose the one she finally can give herself to and have sex with after she has been keeping herself virgin all these years to be a good daughter and a pure sister... are they going to stop their lives and share her the sadness with her if she departs from the one she loves? ,,,or are they going to only ruin her life,, and carry on with their own. Can she leave and break their hearts? ,..what if they never talked to her again after she ran away? .. it is a very cruel situation that many many Arab girls are pushed to face in such an important decision in their lives...

PS: How do I know all that? ,, I am an Arab girl, 25 years old,,, who is living this struggle RIGHT NOW.

Why It Is Almost Impossible for Arab Girls to Marry the One They Love
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Most Helpful Girl

  • ... This is the reason I hate Arabs. They were always barbaric in the past, and even after so many prophets and messengers have come they still couldn't get rid of this patriarchal society. Fucking disturbing. And now they portray it as an Islamic culture. Makes me want to spit on these Arabian people.

    You forgot to mention something: Yes, the family, especially the father has to approve of the marriage. But both the bride and the bridegroom's approvals are the primary thing needed for marriage, and if one of them isn't willing to marry from heart, the marriage isn't real; second is some witness, necessarily not parents. So the money thing and father and brother deciding everything for you, it's the patriarchal Arab society and not Islam.

    And yes, the parents and relatives are supposed to decide for you what's best, because they are more experienced and know you better. Islam has always encouraged being open-minded, and I'm sorry if Arab girls are forced to marry only rich guys. In Islam a man isn't required to be filthy rich, he is only obliged to be affluent enough to be able to give you food clothes shelter etc, all basic things needed for a decent life.

    Mahr and Shabka are cultural things. And they are fucking disgusting, I can only compare it with someone selling his daughter. If the grooms familt gives gifts by themselves, that's a different case. But demanding? Wtf.

    About Mahr: It doesn't necessarily have to be fixed before marriage, but even if it is then it should be between the ones getting married, not their patents; and in an event of divorce the husband cannot afford the Mahr, the couple can compromise a smaller amount, and the decision is between the husband and wife and NOT the wife's father. The Mahr is the wife's right and no one can take it from her.

    Arabs are fucking racist and I'll safely say I really dislike it about Arabs. Nowhere does it say that you can't marry a guy of a different ethnicity/nationality, the one and only requirement is that he must be Muslim too. If you people add up nationality and tribe and family tree in it, it's again a cultural thing. Is finding a Muslim guy to love so hard to find?

    Islam has given women a lot of freedom and flexibility in life. Every Arab women who has given in to their culture and let her father marry her off to a sugar daddy has fooled herself. My sister and brother-in-law took 12 months to convince our families to get married, but they did it, you can too. Just be brave!

    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      well.. i found it a bit rude that you said you want to spit on Arab people,, cause I am Arab myself :( ,, but what you said about religion is true,, Islam itself didn't put these expensive rules at all,, but this is a Cultural disease that has been taking a long time... Unfortunately yes, I know many girls in person who had to give up on the one they love because the father refused him for lame reasons,,, It is very hard for me to give up on the one I love,, I mean it is my life,, and I am not young ,, I am 25 years old, and I have my own job and money.

    • I'm sorry if it hurt you, :( I said "these" Arabs so I meant the ones who do these sick practices and spread a bad name of Islam for the people worldwide. Arabs should really be careful before they act because they are a very representative race.

      Try convincing your father and maybe even give religious references? Ask him if he wants to see you happy or not? At least give it a try before quitting. Even in our country it happens but my sister managed to marry my brother in law despite him being poorer than us... after my father selected some guys for her and she didn't give consent to any, it was clear that she's willing to marry no one else. Try that strategy too. No matter what, nobody can force you! Yes it's time consuming, but all is well when end it well. Don't quit, don't lose hope, nobody can sign the marriage paoers except you. If you and the person you love have clear intentions to be together then Allah will surely help you. Be brave.

    • Moeske25

      My sister i enjoyed reading your story can you please tell me is the guy you love and want to be with is he muslim and is he arab? Please tell me

Most Helpful Guy

  • NearlyNapping

    You need to learn the value of saying "Fuck tradition I'm going to did it anyway". Then stick to it. You want your freedom? Then fight for it and be willing to pay the price. Until then you will continue being a slave to tradition.

    Is this still revelant?

What Girls & Guys Said

1532
  • raininthedance09

    LMFAO. The examples you provided above can apply to just about anyone regardless of background, they're called expectations. Everyone has them. My family is from from RAK-UAE born and raised, and they just want me to be happy, and if the man I want to marry loves me and makes me happy, then that's all they care about.

    • Anonymous

      well no, you didn't get what this article is about? ... "they just want me to be happy, and if the man I want to marry loves me and makes me happy, then that's all they care about" .. in most those countries, like mine... NO, they will care about these things more than your happiness,, and you will be forced to leave the person if not... I do know some girl-friends who had to break their relationship or engagement because one of these conditions couldn't be fulfilled. .. Maybe your family is different.. but that doesn't mean that this doesn't happen

    • No, you just have a fucked up family. Most of the people around me are allowed to pick who they want to marry.

    • Toad-1

      " around me"

      thats the key. around you. other countries are not so lax about it

  • Bananaman177

    The real question is why Western countries should import millions of Muslims and let them start building Shariah zones and expanding the same barbaric culture that ruined their own homelands.

    Why are we importing savagery from these mad brutes?

    • Anonymous

      These expensive traditions are not in the Islam religion.. it is ARABIC traditions,, don't have anything to do with being Muslim or not.

    • Islam is a weaponized version of pre-Islamic Arabic culture and traditions.

      Yes, this is known.

  • rozequarts

    Im arab and can't relate. But I do believe that it happens in some families. Sorry to hear what you're going though. If i was you I would do all i can to convince my family who I love is the one I should marry. But within reason, at times your family can advise you to stay away from a certain person, because love makes you blind and they see something "off" about him that you dont see. Dont take their word with a grain of salt, consider it, but in the end the decision should be yours.

    • Anonymous

      yes, That's what i say " at the end the decision should be yours" .. unfortunately, in my country ,, no, the last decision is the father's.. regardless of what you and your partner do. His no, is the No.

  • Eugene

    Gee, I wonder whether feminists will get triggered or be like "doop-dee-doo, nothing to see here".

    In any case, it's islam, what did you expect; it's a cancer of this world.
    Quit it, get out of wherever you are right and become happy, for once.

  • KnightCross

    BRAVO! Good that the Truth has been spoken! We need more women to denounce the stupidities of Islam! That only shows how materialistic and unfair are the reasons revolving a muslim marriage!

    Do you want an advice? Flee your country, flee your family, come to the Western world and be free. I would love to make an Arab girl happy by marrying her, assuming that she will leave Islam forever (I'm not even joking, i don't rule out that possiblity)

    • MaxxiBonn

      Married to a muslim guy, here. Definitely not opressed. Love my inlaws. Whenever I have a problem, I run and tell his mother and she deals with him. He joked and called me fat once. His mother beat his 23 year old ass with a broom.

    • @MaxxiBonn "Whenever I have a problem, I run and tell his mother and she deals with him"> Do you really think that something so intimate like a married couple life should be intervened by other people? You BOTH should be the ones to solve your OWN problems! That's how marriage works, that's the beauty of marriage, the growth of responsibilities, the growth of maturity, etc. Asking his mother to beat him just shows how immature you both are

    • MaxxiBonn

      Of course we sort things out. But look, this is a middle eastern family. When you marry a Lebanese person, you marry their family too.
      I was simply stating that an islamic family isn't what the west thinks. Some are, yes. But if I was in that situation, wouldn't I be too scared to confide in his mother? I'm not, because his mother and his famiky see me as thier own. Not just some woman who is there to cook and clean. They go out of their way to make me feel appreciated and respected.

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  • JudgmentDay

    I wouldn't be surprised if more Arab women want to give up and call it quits on those religious traditions and cultural practices. It's just way too many fucking restrictions. If you are able to support yourself then you might even just leave it all behind and never return to that kind of restrictive life with beliefs that have so many restrictions on how you're suppose to marry and determine how you should live. Do what you must or could, because only you can decide your own happiness and know what is right for you. Take whatever risks or chances that you must otherwise you might regret that you didn't try and take your chances. Any other case, you don't really have any other options, just do the best that you could to endure until the opportunity comes around for you to leave it all behind and go somewhere else where restrictions like those don't matter and don't apply.

    • Anonymous

      yes, i am 25, I have my own job and money ,, and I can certainly leave ,, it is just hard you know? i am trying to find a middle ground ,, where they out less obstacles and conditions, so we can do them, and get married,, but no, they are so selfish ,,

    • I am guessing that you are in Egypt because I suspect it would be much more difficult in the other countries you mentioned for a woman to just walk away. Plus, I doubt this site is legal in those other countries, but I have seen Egyptians on here before.

    • Anonymous

      @Jackblue yes, I am in Egypt ,, it is not as closed as Saudi Arabia,, yet the traditions are stronly practiced and valued to matters like marriage, and boy/girl rights, and power of the men,,, etc

    • Show All
  • chrisrockwingstop

    that sucks! the arab world needs a generation of strong arab suffragetes to rise up and win democratic rights just like in u. k. and america. If all the women are holding out, public opinion of men will folllow QUICKLY

  • cth96190

    I have a female friend who is teaching English in Saudi Arabia.
    I tried to warn her before she went there, but she would not listen.
    She has described the society as a form of Hell on Earth and cannot come to terms with the way that she and Saudi women are treated as subhuman.

  • Because guess what? Men know other men. We pick out all the little fuck boys she thinks loves her and toss there disgusting turds aside. Western women get hurt because sex is what revolves around the agenda of men and they're too stubborn to seek the help of their male relatives. The list of things isn't required it's just to see if that man has the balls to come with or without it.

  • Maazin

    You're asking at the wrong forum and you will find no solace listening to such people over here especially men. You will only find bigots and losers here who instead of helping you find a solution or middle ground will indirectly attack your culture, ethnicity and way of living.
    Talk to your parents and continue as long as possible.

  • Brokenheartedx

    A way to control women.. a case of do as I say or else.. God forbid a woman to have free thought

    I sometimes suspect the reason why men hide away women in tent like clothes is to either mask the bruising or to hide t

  • JohnDoe3000

    Well, maybe it's consolation that this means the Arab guys can't marry the ones they love in equal numbers.

    by the way, am I an asshole for asking what happens when no rich suitors turn up? At some point the male relatives will have to agree to a poorer guy, won't they? So why can't that guy be the girl's boyfriend?

    • I agree there's probably a bunch of Arab men and women who don't get to be with the person they want. I'm kind of wondering what happens if a father doesn't find anyone suitable until his daughter is older. Wouldn't he have to compromise before she's 30 if he wants grandkids?

      Very informative Take by the way

  • Analinda1999

    if you choose to be a slave then you will be a slave. allowing others to choose your life for you is something women have been fighting against-successfully-throughout history. you either attempt to control your life or someone else will.

  • TripleAce

    We have been pitting against each other... today's cultural norms are conditioned over the years... we're just born into it, whether we like it or not... and somehow have to deal with it. Opposing it usually creates friction

  • skykid1992

    Middle ground= tell your parents to grow the fuck up that they can accept your boyfriend or lose you as their daughter easy. My ex girlfriend left me because of her parents did nothing but cry didn't even care how hard it was on me. Now my current girlfriend told her parents to stfu accept me for me or she's moving out. And that was the last she heard of them about dumping me, yes they still take shots at me and talk shit but who cares.

  • candyaurora

    I feel sorry for you. You should stay strong and focused and know your rights. I must add that you should have mentioned that all the evils stated above are a by product of the centuries old pathetic culture and patriarchy and lack of educationa and is infact very much contrary to the teachings of Islam.

    • Anonymous

      yes yes i did,, i did mention it in my article.. also in my comments

  • windfall2017

    Marriage as I've understood in middle east is about brokering between clans esp to a wealthier and resourceful clan to and to increase networking. The girls especially are just properties of a family especially the father. This orimitive practice reminds me of the old roman times where a woman's value is only in serving a man and boring him offsprings.

  • MrOracle

    Many of us would like to help you, but there is little we can do. It's going to be up to women like YOU to stand up for yourselves (even if it's at significant risk to yourself) and to stand up for the generations that follow.

    You have the gift of education and access to the rest of the world (at least in the form of communication) - advantages the generations before you largely didn't have. It's up to YOU to use those to your advantage.

    Change will be resisted - often severely - but it will take constant, organized fighting and sacrifice by Arab women to change this. It can't be changed from the outside - certainly the culture won't change because FOREIGNERS told them to - it will need to be changed from within.

    Find other women in your situation, organize, educate each other, support each other, make your stories public, and hold your ground! It won't be fast or easy; it may take several generations in fact, but it has to start somewhere.

  • Unit1

    That really sucks.

    But it is what is to be expected in the 3. th world countries and the practice of the islam. It's actually the very nature of religion to control lives.

    Poor women!

  • Wontstop

    the earth is flat get away from the traditions of the world
    reflectionofmind.org/.../...E-A-DOME-1024x438.jpeg

  • PrincessPie

    I'm sorry i can imagine your struggle but obviously don't know what you're going through.. i hope you do manage whatever happens to be with someone who you at least care for and cares for you.

  • i_research

    I cannot relate.
    I am glad to have nice parents, who are traditional and has religious values.

    • Toad-1

      did your father choose for you as well?

    • i_research

      @Toad-1 I am not married yet. My father would not choose for me. I would tell him when I find someone suitable for me. If he finds someone for me, he would tell me, and I would give my consent if I agree, or I would refuse if I don't like the guy.

      But in my family, my mom has more saying on this matter than my father.

  • AlienIshboo

    I shall prescribe you a dose of Marilyn Manson music followed by a few books by Richard Dawkins and stand-up comedy routines by George Carlin. Next you can watch Penn Jillette's various TED talks, followed by various youtube videos by TJ Kirk.

    There is no god. Your oppressive culture makes you suffer for nothing. Escape, and live the life you deserve. These people do not wish to see you happy, they seek only to appease their make believe overlord. The Quran is bullshit: https://skepticsannotatedbible.com/quran/index.htm (all religions are, but since the Quran is near and dear to your heart, it's the only one you'll care about. Believe me, there are just as many contradictions in all the other religious texts).

    You are not Arab. You are you, and whatever life you choose to make for yourself.

  • Well at least he allows you to use social media something I suspect a lot of fathers from the region would not.

    • Not that I am justifying anything, but clearly your father is not completely closed off to change like some men in his position might be.

    • Perhaps he will eventually change.

  • es20490446e
  • juststrollin

    Wow, I had no idea, thanks for explaining. Im from America

  • John_Doesnt

    It sounds like Arab countries and cultures are just as crappy as I imagined.

  • springocelot

    Sorry you're going through this. Unfortunately, I do attribute it to islam. Your prophet only had 4 criteria for marriage and nowhere is personality, love, or compatibility mentioned https://sunnah.com/bukhari/67/28

    Of course, he said this during the days when clans were common where consolidating wealth and power of families was more important back then. Love marriage was not a thing back then. But as orthodox islam takes everything prophet says at face value for all time, what you're going through is a symptom of that.

    I also think it's cruel to make a man not of the faith change his religion just for a girl. That quranic rule alone has torn many couples apart.

    • The religion mentioned in the Hadith is actually personality and good manners. Did you know the Prophet's first marriage was actually a love marriage where his wife after being impressed with his honesty and good character proposed to him.

    • @candyaurora - still no love is mentioned. as for the marriage, she was a rich lady. it's said he'd only agreed to marry her if she were to provide for him as she approached him. i'm not sure of her motives for marriage, but from his side, it seems like a co-dependent relationship at best.

    • Where did you read that the Prophet married her for her money? Let me tell you her motives she was impressed and attracted to his intelligence, honesty and character. I will be surprised if you still think that was wrong or hinting at any type of codependency. Also I am not sure if you confuse and mix the terms lust and love. Yes their marriage was not based on lust but it was love.

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  • BertMacklinFBI

    best thing you can do

    you do you

  • Phoenix98

    Run..

    • If only it was that simple and easy, I doubt everybody can simply just drop everything and ditch.

    • Phoenix98

      @JudgmentDay Obviously.

      But is apparently is that easy to since millions of them have been migrating to Europe.

      So I guess take it with a grain of salt.

  • zagor

    What country are you in?

    • jacquesvol

      Good question, indeed, I uess it can be very different in other 'Arab' countries.

    • jacquesvol

      edit *I guess______________

    • Anonymous

      Egypt... and It is not a very very religious country like Iran, or Saudi Arabia,,, but definitely the traditions are still strongly taking place,, and the power of dads and brothers are still so overwhelming ,,, and yes, the expensive requirements are still strongly taking place.

  • SuccessfulHornDog

    Run away as fast as you can

  • TrollG0D

    Good.

  • Anonymous

    it is very rare to see girls dating western guys does it ever happen?

  • Anonymous

    Hi!

    I understand how you feel, as I come from a rural part of a western country where traditions still sometimes control how people live. I understand why people cling to traditions. Especially in a place where there are few jobs and the cost of living is high, traditions can be comforting in times of poverty.

    However, things are not hopeless for you. There are ways for you to gain some control over your own life while still being a "good muslim woman" in the eyes of your family and society.

    First of all, you write English very well. Good job! That's an important skill that you can use to control your own life. If you speak, read, and write English well enough, you can use your skills to get a job teaching English or tutoring rich kids. There might be other jobs open to single women in Egypt that I don't know of where you can use this skill, I am just using it as an example that is very "traditional."

    Of course, it is not enough for you to just decide to get your own job. Even though you are earning money to gain control over your own life, you need to pretend that you are working to be a good daughter by supporting your parents. Tell people that "I've realized that my family is very important to me, so I'm working to earn and save money for my parents so that they can live a peaceful old age, free from poverty." Set aside some money for your parents as an allowance or a pension.

    This will increase the pressure on your parents to approve of the person you want to marry, since it would be ungrateful for them to turn down your boyfriend while they are being supported by your salary.

    Another alternative is to study abroad. This route is obviously a lot harder and is more expensive upfront, since you have to pay for the costs of applying to a university, taking acceptance tests, airfare and tuition. You are also essentially choosing to run away from your family, although you're doing so in a way that is less embarrassing for them. Studying for a career that is in high demand (nursing or software engineering are in big demand in most western countries, especially Canada) will increase your chances of being able to immigrate to a less traditional country when you graduate.

    Above all, have hope, work hard and do not get discouraged. Remember that your life belongs to you. There is no shame in making your own life instead of living the life your parents or society think is best. You have a goal and IT IS YOUR HUMAN RIGHT to try and achieve that.

  • Anonymous

    i think that as long as i use the general as my car insurance provider, ill be ok with her father

  • Anonymous

    Because they get acid thrown in their face or stabbed to death by a relative

    • Anonymous

      @Omar5881 told me this

  • Anonymous

    It's also impossible for a lot of guys to marry the one they love because women aren't attracted to them. Who knew.

    • Anonymous

      Congrats on discovering that some people actually struggle in the dating world. What a huge revelation.

    • Anonymous

      Thank you for posting this. I would never have guessed that dating wasn't super easy for every person in the world until you so wisely informed. What would we do without you anon?

  • Anonymous

    but islam says that you can't make your daughter marry a guy if she doesn't want to

  • Anonymous

    I'm in love with a catholic and I'm Arab Muslim and in the same boat.

    • Anonymous

      it is going to be a very very hard road, trust me

    • Anonymous

      He said he will convert for me , will it work?

  • Anonymous

    We have problems with Christian child marriages in the US, Christian families that are overly restrictive and sexist, forced or arranged unions, modest dress restrictions, all kinds of things - right here, among Christians, in a country where women are guaranteed the right not to live under that. (And those Christians would be the first to scream bloody murder about Sharia law.)

    Sexism is really common everywhere. It's a struggle all of us share. What can a white American lady do to help women under the conditions you describe in the Middle East?

  • Anonymous

    Typical treatment of women in Islam.

    • Anonymous

      Unfortunately, it is not in Islam itself,,, these are traditions that have been taking so long in the Arab culture,, but the religion itself, never mentioned those very expensive conditions,, but yes, it mentioned the power and rule of the father over the girl :(

    • Anonymous

      Which is why this "power" is trash and treats women like trash.

    • Popo21

      In Islam, forced marriage is a NO NO
      And parents have to make sure their kids want to get married to whoever

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  • Anonymous

    This entire post is why Islam is a horrible ideology and should not be accepted by anyone.

    • Anonymous

      obviously not!!! these conditions are not in the religion,, these stupid conditions are 100% cultural and traditional.. Marriage in Islam is much easier,, and with none of these expensive requirements

    • Anonymous

      I can tell you without a doubt that ALL of these conditions are based out of the religion.
      Marriage is easier because women don't have a choice and are often children when it happens.

  • Anonymous

    depends on what arabs are you talking about, lebanon, israel, plaestine, and syria are not exactly like you mentioned, sure religions play a rule and most of the time marrying from a different religion could very well cause a serious problem however these days its not much of an issue anymore as i know many people who married from different relgions... as for the brothers and father agreeing, well kinda i mean he doesn't have to be rich he just have to be decent and someone she can depend on in the long run, i know plenty of not rich guys with good wives so its not really an issue anymore.

    all in all you can love who you want most of the time and no one cares or makes it hard for you, how do i know? well its just how things are and it happens where i live , maybe in teh gulf area it different but here its not , love happens just like in the west.

    however i do have one complaint... some women thing they're worth a fat bank account, a personaly servant and all the good things in the world despite not having anything to offer in return and even if they did have acting like a spoiled/gold digger littel bitch is not nice.

  • Anonymous

    I have said it before and i will say it again. arab countries about 300 years behind the rest of the world.

  • Anonymous

    good

  • Anonymous

    Aw sorry you're going through this:( unfortunately I think it's a problem of Islam. I'll never hate a religion, I just feel sorry for the girls and boys that are a part of it, including my best friend. I hope you find someone you love and keep hope because out there someone has been made for you😊

    • Anonymous

      Well, it is complicated,,, those expensive things were never mentioned in Islam... These are traditions that have been taking place for many years,,, and the parents can't let go of them,, which is so hard for the young people these days :(

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