Guys, Keep Your Hands to Yourself... or You May Just Meet Your Match

[scarlett]

While the potential for violence is always there in our world, whether you are a man or a woman, the risk is a little bit different for women. Not only do we have to watch out for obvious threats, we also have to be aware of less obvious threats as well. Yes, I'm talking about sexual assault. I know we don't live in a perfect society and I don't expect the world to be totally free from danger. However, I do think that more people need to be taught basic manners. As a child, I was taught to keep my hands to myself. So why is it that some grown men don't know how to do that? One man learned this lesson the hard way.

Krystal Olsen, a bartender from New York who works in Arizona, was working one night when a random guy decided he had the right to grab and touch her inappropriately. The way she handled it is worthy of applause. When someone puts their hands on you without your consent, that is assault and you have EVERY RIGHT to defend yourself. Krystal took to Twitter to share her story.

This guy grabbed my ass, I dragged him out in a chokehold, he slammed me into a wall. And is crying like a bitch when he got arrested. pic.twitter.com/rL3qATmL3O

— knockout (@knockoutxo) July 1, 2017

Her post has now gone viral on Twitter, with almost 80 thousand retweets and over 355 thousand likes! Many people have praised her reaction and commend her for standing up for herself.

The best part is that you literally stood there taking this photo of him. So priceless. 🙌🏻

— Atheists (@atheists_music) July 1, 2017

You are awesome and I want my daughter to grow up to be just like you.

— Patrick S. Tomlinson (@stealthygeek) July 2, 2017

GOOD. FOR. YOU. 💕

— Kate Bigam (@heyescapist) July 2, 2017

However, some negative reactions have also rolled in from people who apparently don’t understand the meaning of sexual assault and feel that Krystal was wrong for retaliating.

Poor boy. You don't think you've overreacted?

— Tommy 'Guru' Allan (@TomBoxingAsylum) July 1, 2017

slight over reaction, probably could've used your big girl words instead of going straight to attacking him

— Chico Suave (@fergzilla10) July 2, 2017

I don't know. I just don't agree with choking and sending somebody to jail because they touched you once. I understand that he shouldn't have done it

— little Bobby Blade (@DucksuiG) July 1, 2017

The negativity she has received has been very telling. When a woman says "men shouldn't rape" and men respond with "it's a harsh world, you are responsible for your own safety" but then a woman is criticized when she DOES defend herself, that's a problem. Personally, I'm all about self-defense and I believe all women should take steps to learn different ways they can stand up for themselves against aggressors. An ass grab may not seem like such a big deal to men but for a woman, having a stranger grab you can be scary, you don't know what they might do next. It's true, your safety is in your own hands and if we can't rely on others to keep their hands to themselves, then it becomes our responsibility to show them we won't tolerate it.

So what is your opinion? Do you think Krystal overreacted or do you think she did the right thing?

[AdamThomas]

He deserved it. He shouldn't have done it in the first place.

When it comes to self defense many people are clueless, so they see certain reactions as over-reactions whether that be here, with cops, whatever. If someone is going to assault you whether violently or physically, you don't take a chance by allowing them to continue. To allow them to continue just puts you in more and more danger, the better option is to act fast and destroy the threat straight away.

Here, the guy grabbed her ass and she choked him. What if she hadn't choked him? He could have done more. Then at what point would it have not been an over-reaction for her or someone else to step in?

If someone punches me in the face once, should I let them do it a couple more times before I retaliate and risk getting knocked out? No, they do it once and I give them everything I've got until they can't get back up. That's not an over-reaction, it's common sense - someone assaults you, they're a threat to your safety, you take them out as quickly as you can and they shouldn't have done it in the first place.

[TheOtakuMaid]

Self-defense is eliminating a threat. if a robber breaks into your house sees you and runs and you headshot them that, not defense, even more, one is required to state a verbal warning before such action if someone is in your house you are first required to order them to leave. if someone taps you on the shoulder you are required to tell them to stop before taking action.
the issue I hold is not even to do with the action or the counter action but the sheer Hypocrisy if roles were reversed that does happen. these same people would be scoffing at a man who puts women in a choke hold for touching his crotch.

places with double standards lack equality. people who cry for Equality when they want double standards are Hypocrites and I will not support and allow Hypocrisy in such a matter to exist,

[AdamThomas]

@TheOtakuMaid

I don't care what other people or the law says that I'm required to do. If you're in my house I'm not gonna ask you to leave and give you the chance to attack me or injure me when you might be armed, I'm gonna hit you over the head with something heavy before you get the chance for being in my house in the first place.

You're right that people would react differently. That's just human nature I'm afraid, it's in our nature to be protective of women. It's also much less of a threat for a woman to grab a man's ass than vice versa.

[TheOtakuMaid]

with such double standards, you admit than Equality is impossible. and such claims fall on deaf ears. why should I care then? if Humanity is too stupid to see such Hypocrisy why should they not fall under shackles?

[AdamThomas]

@TheOtakuMaid

I think equality is bullshit, and I think feminists are hypocrites.

[castratedwhiteguy]

The fact that this incident happened in a public place with other people around, and not on a deserted street, restricts what the law would consider justifiable self defense. The fact that the guy groped her instead of trying to punch her is another strike against her. In this case, and as far as we know, she clearly assaulted the guy...

[AdamThomas]

@castratedwhiteguy

Again, fuck the law. If a guy grabbed my ass I'd hit him straight on the jaw. A lot of self defence laws are ridiculous. Even so, it seems here that the law was on her side anyway.

[Bluemax]

"He shouldn't have done it in the first place. "

Agreed, if he did it. What evidence do you have, other than her word, that he actually did it?

See my response. I'm asking you the same question I asked scarlett.

[AdamThomas]

@Bluemax

If it happens like the said it did, he deserved it. If it didn't, then maybe he didn't. That's up to the cops to investigate. I'm just a random guy on the internet saying that if a guy grabs a girls ass, gets his ass kicked and gets arrested I don't feel sorry for him at all.

[castratedwhiteguy]

Wrong! If you reread this tweet you'll notice that she said, "I dragged him out in a chokehold". Now, about the only way that this would be possible would be if she came up from behind him while his back was turned and he was walking away. If so facto than the need for self defense had already passed and she would be guilty of assault.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Not gonna lie - I'm an eye for an eye girl. If you wanna grab ass don't be surprised if you get hit. Mind you, I don't necessarily always recommend violence in such situations as it can turn into something more dangerous, but I can't exactly blaming someone for reacting. Yes, he wasn't actively raping her but sexually grabbing someone isn't okay and can quickly escalate in some situations so you have a right to defend yourself if someone decides they wanna start pushing up on you and touching you.

I don't care what people say about "Oh don't wear x, y, and z then" - your clothes don't change the law. Yeah it can give a certain impression and you can't blame people for reacting, but you can blame them for breaking the law, and putting your hands on someone sexually without consent, no matter what, is against the law.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I will say though: it's a bit much to be posting this stuff all over social media. But that's just me personally.

[lumos]

This is something I've always found so hypocritical. Women essentially get blamed for being raped because they did xyz and "got themselves into that situation" and "didn't try to defend themselves" or whatever (completely disregarding all circumstances, every bit of context and the simple fact that there's this thing called being in shock, but I digress). And then when a woman actually does defend herself and makes it a point to everyone that nobody should dare come at her because she's a force to be reckoned with, she's overreacting and being a bitch.
Like literally how was she supposed to know that this guy was only out to grab her ass and do nothing more. That in itself means that he deserves to get punched in his fucking face. When people constantly treat you as if you/your body is public property and they can do whatever they want, being grabbed without your consent just gets scarier and scarier.
If guys don't want to get punched in the face, y'all should learn how to behave and realize that women don't belong to you.

[castratedwhiteguy]

The problem with women punching guys is that this just might happen:

Woman suffers fractured skull near RU campus

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m0x9rqPTPo&spfreload=10

[Bluemax]

"Like literally how was she supposed to know that this guy was only out to grab her ass and do nothing more. That in itself means that he deserves to get punched in his fucking face"

Assuming he did what she alleges. What evidence is there that it actually went down that way? See my response. You're sitting on a jury. Same question to you.

[lumos]

@castratedwhiteguy right. Just one more reason to hate guys.

@Bluemax there is no evidence, and sadly there rarely is because how are you supposed to somehow document an unexpected attack? Dunno really what else to comment on that since I'm not sure what you're looking for.

[gaguser2453]

there is no excuse to hate ''guys'' what kind of horrible reasoning is that? his point was simple, unless you have NO option then fight, but please dont try and fight a guy for your safety as one punch can be REALLY deadly. even I avoid fights with guys if there are other options. with that said, if you have that option to leave like that girl did in the video, then please get the hell out of there or if there is help around ask for help and you can probably subdue him with more than one person but live to fight another day in court, not a 1 on one battle. Another thing, carry pepper spray this will help a ton. also here is another thing, I know how to behave, so instead of just saying guys you can call out the rapists, but dont lump me in with that crap

[RolandCuthbert]

I do not envy all the whining that is going to come your way now. It is so funny. All these supposed men's right activists know that men are physically stronger than women. They know that have no fear that if a woman catcalls them, that they will get sexually assaulted. But in conversations like these they all pretend they are victims. I have been at parties and I have seen men target women because they are drunk. We all know this happens. I think the issue is more complicated than you have talked about. And certainly more complex than the responses you will get.

I get that people want to go out and have a good time. In the circles I am in, I see that a lot. There are parties where people become sloppy drunk and start to fall all over each other hugging and talking about how much they love each other. Several times, there have been "incidents", where it is just too much. Either a man or a woman goes too far.

I get that some women may feel vulnerable in those kinds of situations. But you cannot possibly speak for all women. There are plenty of women who love that environment and I know quite a few of them. Nowadays, I am older. When things are getting out of hand, I just leave.

It is a tough call for young people. I would not envy being a young millennial male. Here he is with raging hormones. Most are brought up in this culture where it is okay to drink and be sexual. But things are changing.

And I think making this situation black and white is problematic. I think this is much more complex.

As for this specific situation, I actually agree with the lady. She is a bartender. Everyone knows or is supposed to know, they are not part of the party.

On the other end, what is a guy supposed to do if he is just sitting there and a strange woman starts giving him a lap dance?

[LittleLila]

The problem I have with this is that men deal with way more 'sexual assault' than women do on a day to day basis. The difference being that when it happens to women, it's assault, and when it happens to men, it's just not.
Likewise, self-defence is seen as admirable and joked about when it comes to a woman defending herself against a man who (sometimes) may have not even deserved it, but when you watch a video of a woman punching a man square in the face repeatedly for several minutes and he finally snaps and drops her like a sack of shit, it's a huge debate on whether he was in the right or not because he's a dude and he just hit a chick.

I honestly can't stand posts like this. There is more than enough awareness out there for violence against women, but none for men. You clearly had good intentions when you wrote this but unfortunately, you are part of the problem. People bring up violence against women and beat it to death with repetition, literally everyone has seen an ad or poster about how it's terrible and shameful for a man to hit a woman. It will never stop, because unfortunately there are always going to be assholes out there, but how often have you seen any form of advertisement to defend men against women? Considering it's a serious issue today, there is absolutely no awareness being spread about what men go through with women. How many videos have you seen of a man constantly hitting a woman until she finally hits him back? I honestly have never seen a single one. But I watched two videos today of chicks beating the shit out of guys because they think they can't be touched before I'd even had breakfast.

Stop beating a dead horse.

[scarlett]

If you're so concerned about men, you're more than welcome to write your own content piece to bring awareness to it. Nothing is stopping you.

[CattleDecapitation]

I like you. You are knowledgeable.

[LittleLila]

That's not the point I was trying to make. But ok.

[scarlett]

Yeah, your point was completely irrelevant to this myTake. And THAT is part of another problem. Women can't bring up any issue without men (and apparently other certain women) screaming "but men have it so much worse!" Like... okay but how is that relevant to this issue of women getting groped by strangers? Everyone wants to say "but men deal with sexual assault so much more!" Last time I checked, we're adults and this isn't a pissing contest. Just because I mention an issue that women face doesn't mean I believe men don't have any problems of their own, it's simply not the topic I chose to write about. You want to talk about how there is no awareness for men, but what's stopping YOU from writing content to bring awareness to it? Nothing.

[LittleLila]

Your entire reply is why the problem of gender stereotypes exists.

[scarlett]

Whatever you want to believe 👍

[Jager66]

"Yeah, your point was completely irrelevant to this myTake. And THAT is part of another problem. Women can't bring up any issue without men (and apparently other certain women) screaming "but men have it so much worse!""

That is the result of the victim politics Feminism has been pushing for decades.

Hitchens predicted in the 90's that people supporting men's issues would, in the future, begin to use the same tactics. So it is simply turnabout, doesn't make it right, but that's what is happening because Feminism used this tactic to silence anyone from promoting any other issues, so now other groups are using that same strategy to silence Feminism.

[scarlett]

@Jager66 Makes sense. I don't even consider myself a "feminist." I have tons of opinions that feminists would likely disagree with. It's pretty sad when no one can bring up gender-specific issues without others saying "but men!" or "but women!" It's just stupid and minimizes any valid issues that are being discussed.

[castratedwhiteguy]

My problem with you basing this My Take on this particular Twitter post is that the story is incomplete and misleading at best and totally fake at worst. Given the fact that the incident did happen in a bar, you can bet that she had plenty of help taking this guy down. Also, look at his picture! He's a pathetic runt. He's not exactly a classic specimen of stoic manhood. I'd imagine that quite a few women could kick his ass. And to you ladies who advocate fighting back because of something minor such as a grope, I can only offer you this warning:

Woman suffers fractured skull near RU campus

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7m0x9rqPTPo&spfreload=10

[scarlett]

@castratedwhiteguy Sure, so we should totally just allow random men to grab us and not dare to stand up for ourselves. 👌

[castratedwhiteguy]

Scarlett, she shouldn't have started the fight in this situation because she was in a public place and because she probably had other options. However, she should have told the guy to get lost and than she should have reported the incident to management or to the bouncers. It's not a matter of right or wrong here. It's the fact that taking just one punch can be a life changing catastrophe as the video in my last post clearly shows. There are plenty of guys out there who could literally kill a women with one punch. And you're saying that it makes sense for a women to get physical with a strange guy over a drunken ass feel in a public place? I don't think so. However, if the incident happened in a dark alley or behind closed doors - then that's when she should be fighting back. Knockout's actions were stupid, reckless and borderline criminal. This is a bad and dangerous example for both women and men to follow and you shouldn't advocating these actions.

[scarlett]

@castratedwhiteguy Yeah, because telling a guy to "get lost" will definitely make them leave you alone. If it was that simple, no one would get assaulted or raped. No one has the right to put their hands on another person without that person's consent. Period. I don't care if a guy is drunk, it's called personal responsibility and self-control. And you can't say when another person should or should not feel threatened. If a random dude is grabbing me, I can't read minds. I don't know what his intentions may or may not be. This doesn't only happen in bars and I am *not* talking about this one situation, but in general men who think they have a right to grab women. I've been assaulted before so now I carry concealed. I don't need to fight a man with my bare hands. My whole point with this myTake is that more women should know how to defend themselves. The fact you think men should be able to assault women and we should just take it because it's "just a drunken ass grab" is sad.

[troychapman]

faith in women lost😢

[Asad1ONE1]

Thanks for defending us girl. At least someone cares.

[RJGraveyTrain]

There is a lot I agree with here as well ^ I'd like to see you actually address this issue.

[skykid1992]

You said like a really anger person. he said she should have got help since she was in a public place and in no real danger. My sister got her ass grab in a pubic place before told him to stop he didn't so she ask for help less then 5 sec later the guy face was on the floor. But honestly she should have slap the shit out of him or broke his hand. A choke hold is uncalled for and i known if i did the same id be in jail right now, random girls slap my ass all the time and what do i do? I tell them to stop or give them a dirt look them if they dont stop my girlfriend brokes hands.

[troychapman]

why is everyone so violent

[LittleLila]

@troychapman Probably false entitlement.

[Bluemax]

*IF*

He did what she alleges he did, then she absolutely positively unquestioningly had a right to defend herself.

In fact, that's so important I want to repeat it.

If he did what she alleges he did, THEN SHE ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY UNQUESTIONINGLY HAD A RIGHT TO DEFEND HERSELF.

*BUT*
I have found absolutely NO EVIDENCE that he did what she alleges he did other than her word. I have seen no video evidence. I have seen no one else come forward and testify they witnessed he did what she alleges he did. This doesn't mean it didn't happen, but I've found no evidence.

No one seems to be questioning *IF IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AS SHE CLAIMS IT DID* nor does anyone seem to be even remotely interested in *EVIDENCE*

She tweets it. Therefore it must be true. The police arrested him? Well, police are perfect and never misjudge anything. Thus it must be true. There isn't a possibility that it was an accident (and people have brushed against me inappropriately and it was an accident, and I have brushed against people in inappropriate places and it was an accident... just add alcohol and I can totally see a needless stupid fight erupting... in fact I have seen them erupt). If she was sexually assaulted, did she have the right man? Mistakes can be made in crowded places. Don't give me this "that never happens or happens very rarely." I've seen it happen with my own eyes.

This is a serious question, scarlett. What evidence is there that things went down exactly as she claims? Seriously, what evidence (and I'm asking this because I honestly haven't seen any, and I'm eager to see evidence)?

Another serious question, scarlett. If you're on a jury for a trial identical to this one, and there is NO EVIDENCE BUT HER SAY SO, do you vote to convict this guy?

[scarlett]

Sexual assault is often hard to prove and is frequently a "he said/she said" situation. I'm not arguing about whether or not he should be found guilty in a court of law, but rather a woman's right to defend herself. I simply saw this particular story trending online and used it to paint a bigger picture. I don't think anyone here is talking about whether or not he should be convicted and thrown in jail, but rather the WOMAN'S RIGHT to defend herself against a man who is grabbing her. Look at the comments, tons of men have said if a man grabs a woman, she shouldn't retaliate. The biggest point I was making in this myTake is that more women should learn self-defense and be able to protect themselves against men (or other women) who feel entitled to their bodies.

[almadafie]

@scarlett So, in order to further your point, you chose to sacrifice the reputation of the man in question?

[scarlett]

@almadafie I didn't sacrifice his reputation, I'm not the one who uploaded his picture to the internet. This story was already trending before I shared it here on GAG.

[almadafie]

@scarlett You still chose to post it here, thus expanding upon his humiliation, yet at the same moment you admit you are not sure if this incident happened as the report said it did, you went ahead and posted something you weren't sure is true or not, with such emotional vigor.

[scarlett]

@almadafie Yeah, because whether or not this *particular* story is true, women being assaulted DOES happen and that's the bigger point I'm making. You can bury your head in the sand and all you want but it's simply a fact that situations like this story DO happen and my entire point is advocating for women to know how to defend themselves. Not that I expect you to understand since you victim blame women for getting assaulted in the first place.

[Idontevenknow444]

bury your head in the sand? ''The negativity she has received has been very telling.'' what has been telling about it? you dont even have proof of the story, yet your take was CLEARLY on her side off of a simple tweet with no evidence. what you did is shameful to say the least if this guy is innocent.

[Bananaman177]

She did great, but if you play stupid games, you're gonna win stupid prizes.

Rapists are no different than say, a mountain lion. A mountain lion does not care if you're a mountain lion hunter or a mountain lion conservationist. It doesn't care. It only cares that you're made of meat.

And you can hate mountain lions if you want, but there's no point, because it will still kill you and eat you no matter what, first chance it gets. Hate it, love it, ignore it, be afraid of it, be mad at it, just doesn't really matter. It's just gonna do what a mountain lion does. Because that's what it is.

And it's really SHITTY in my opinion to paint all men with such a broad brush and to imply that any or all of them are just "potential rapists," when there's guys out there in this world who would risk their life to defend you and expect nothing in return, but that they just can't bear to see somebody being hurt. Men die for women all the time, and women die for men too, ALL THE TIME.

Men and women are actually supposed to be. . . . . . A TEAM!!! (Gasp!)

[Tanisha69]

you are right tho

[Dale1982]

I just don't like the way you address it. Men. As if we're all clones of each other and we need taming and disciplined to act appropriately by women. I'm an individual and I've never forced myself on a woman in my life and I won't be told I'm some lowbrow, potential rapist. Men are just as much in danger as women in this world you're so fond of commenting on and putting to rights. Where I grew up nobody would touch women and kids but men were fair game, not for sexual assault but for pure horrific violence. I got a lock knife stuck through the back of my head when I was 18, I was mown down in a hit and run outside a nightclub, been stabbed and had my lung nearly cut in 2. Don't give me that shit it's only women who are in danger, we all are depending where we live. I knew guys who will never get a 2nd chance to live down what happened to them, they're in the ground. So gonna stop with your 2 dimensional, feminist take on life. Stop talking as if women are the eminent species and men are their footstools. The problem mostly doesn't exist outside of the net like most social problems

[scarlett]

Sure, men aren't all the same. The title is simply meant to address a wide audience and grab attention. If nothing in this myTake applies to you personally then great.

[lacorine197]

I agree with this man, couldn't have said it any better!

[Anonymous]

I recently participated in a jury in a rape case with a female victim and a male defendant. The jury consisted of 8 men and 4 women. Without getting into specific details, the more and more the facts of the case came in, the more and more we realized the "victim" was so full of shit. Her eye witness testimony was definitely rehearsed and we had a sneaking suspicion that the prosecutor coached her on what to say. Anyways, the evidence actually more or less completely exonerated the defendant, but the 4 women in the jury still wanted to return a guilty verdict. When we tried asking them why they thought the man was Guilty, they were unable to give a meaningful response. They were all emotional. They thought that just because she was a woman who complained of rape meant she must have been 100% right, and their entire argument rested on appeal to emotion fallacy.

We ended up getting a hung jury. I really hope the guy gets a fair trial in his next jury and its not stacked with women. Seriously they won't even consider the evidence in the case.

[lord_chilled]

Well, for the first part, im gonna have to say that men deal with way more violence and assaults than women. A lot less secual assault, but adsaults nonetheless. A woman is much less likely to get raoed than a guy is to get beat up. So thats the point im making here, if girls say you are a fraid of going out because you could get raped, then we guys could also be afraid of going out because we could be beaten up.
Id say everyone should be a bit careful at night and preferrably travel in groups, unless they are moving in vehicles. Just a lot safer.

And as for the post, it seems genuine, so if it went down like she said, then i completely support her. Some guys say she shouldn't have put him in a chokehold or went overboard, but really guys , most men know better than to just go grab a strangers ass, and if you do that, all bets are off. Had that coming. However, the problem is that i can't just believe a girls word alone on this anymore. If ither people were there to confirm it then its ok

[lord_chilled]

Its becayse i used to believe girls without doubting them , just taking them by their word, i have even "white knighted" a bit in the past and sometimes sided with the girl just by her words and i know a lot of guys still do this.
But later it turns out a lot of them were full of shit.
Knowing that makes me look like an idiot later.
A girl gets chased by a guy, im concerned for her,
Later on , it turns out she was flirting with the guy, led him on and he was playing with her and she ran away laughing when he just smiled and walked away. For some reason she tought the story seemed better when she made it look like he was after her to "get" her... smh
Another girl said a guy was trying to force himself on her when in actuallity it turned out he just asked if he could kiss her.
He was an awkward guy who made the mistake of making a move by asking a question. Tagged rapist there because she felt weirded out by it.
And then there's plenty of bar scenes where i witnessed first hand where a

[lord_chilled]

Guy and a girl are flirtibg, drinking and having fun, when he gathers the balls to make a move, but it was a bit too soon, and she slaps him or pours the drink in his face at best, or gets violent and has him kicked out at worst.
At some point , you will stop believing these things unless you have actual proof. I know that it does hapoen, but all my life i have never seen a guy grabbing or assaulting a woman. However i have seen this crazy stuff quite a bunch of times

[jacquesvol]

@lord_chilled "all my life i have never seen a guy grabbing or assaulting a woman."
I advise you to consult an ophtalmologist.

[lord_chilled]

@jacquesvol my eyesight is 10/10 dud

[jacquesvol]

Open your eyes then

[lord_chilled]

@jacquesvol much easier if you werent a smartass.
You lived longer, saw more things. But its not as often as you probably think.
Most of they time its just a simple misunderstanding instead of a guy just going apeshit on a girl for no reason

[jacquesvol]

@lord_chilled I've seen co-workers coming to work in winter, wearing big sun shades, to hide they had taken a beating from their idiot.
I bought and brought flowers for my secretary when her husband had broken her some ribs.
And I've seen and heard much more of the same.
And it disgusts me.

[jacquesvol]

I've known a girl fired because she declined to go to the sauna with a manager, co-worker.
Several officers contacted HRM, trying to save her job. No result.
I've known a manager putting his hands in the cleavage of my (then 40 yr old boss)
I've known more of the same. I've known another short tempered manager hitting a male employee in the face.

I didn't live a sheltered life.

[jacquesvol]

And yes, it's a white collar job. Well paid.

[lord_chilled]

@jacquesvol im not saying it doesn't happen.
But im saying the proportion of probable bs to an actual attack is heavy in favour for bs.

And i dont wanna take this off road, but you seem to harbor some resentment as to why the abusive husband gets their love while you didn't get anything 😏..
Just the way you said "their idiot" and you bringing flowers and how you despised those guys.
Yes those guys are crazy but their women still love em for some reason. Thats just how the world is man

[jacquesvol]

Ad hominems are fallacies

[jacquesvol]

Quote:
"Knowing that makes me look like an idiot later."

[lord_chilled]

@jacquesvol?

[vonasaurus]

i think she did what was needed, in order to ensure her own safety.

my body is not public property; no one- man, woman, both, or neither- is entitled to my personal space but me. and, if a random stranger grabbed me or put hands on me without permission, i'd likely respond in the same way krystal did.

but there's a huge double standard when it comes to this sort of thing. you get raped, it's your fault; if you defend yourself, you're aggressive and a life-destroying bitch.

people, if you don't want your life "destroyed", don't rape and don't touch strangers without permission.

someone needs to explain the concept of personal space to these entitled wastes of space.

(i tried to use gender neutral language, since anyone of any gender can be raped.)

[Bluemax]

" if a random stranger grabbed me or put hands on me without permission, i'd likely respond in the same way krystal did."

Serious question. If you later found out that you were mistaken, you got the wrong man or that it was an accident, how do you respond to the person you got in a choke hold? Would you willingly pay for his hospital bills? Would you willingly pay for lost wages? Seriously, what would you be willing to do to make amends?

I have seen this happen. My female friend slapped the wrong guy. Yes, she was grabbed, but not by the guy she slapped.

[vonasaurus]

@Bluemax for me, violence is always a last-resort response; if i hit someone, it's because s/he's given me reason to believe that my life is in danger and that s/he will physically harm me if not incapacitated immediately. therefore, it's extremely unlikely i'd go after the wrong person.

still, if i did somehow get the wrong guy, absolutely; if security footage or other empirical evidence (not just his word) proved that it wasn't him, i would apologize and gladly help him.

(we don't pay for hospital stays here, but i assume you mean if i lived in the us)

bonus points if he can help me find the culprit and turn him in.

[BellePepper]

You know what's crazy? We've literally been having this conversation for over 100 years.

Edwardian women would stab guys with their hat pins when they got handsy. Instead of the guys saying "yo maybe I shouldn't grope women" they fucking made hat pins *illegal*. www.smithsonianmag.com/.../

So like cheers to men for not changing in over 100 years and kudos to Krystal for carrying on a proud tradition of badassery

[NatashaJ]

I can tell we going to see more female vigilantes over this issue. These pervs going to mess with the wrong cray bitch.

[BellePepper]

@NatashaJ LMFAO

[NatashaJ]

Lolll I'm not joking there going to be more cray cray females out there eventually.

[BellePepper]

@NatashaJ Is it really crazy though?

[NatashaJ]

Not really until female start pulling guys on catcallers.

[BellePepper]

@NatashaJ?

[NatashaJ]

oops guns

[godfatherfan]

So she put him in a choke hold and only he got arrested? Another shining example of how women get away with anything. They can put in false police reports, have sex with guys under 18, etc and nothing happens. Guys will get arrested and convicted. He had no reason to touch her. So if he grabbed her ass, and she called the police, then she is in the right. Grabbing a woman's ass is not the same as putting her in a choke hold. So as soon as she assaulted him, she was in the wrong also. So she should have been arrested also.

[castratedwhiteguy]

You're exactly right...

[Tanisha69]

no police will arrest a girl just for putting a guy in a choke hold after he grabbed her aass. think about it, guys are stronger and bigger. a choke hold evens the odds and he isn't going to be grabbing anything of hers while he's struggling to breathe

[HereComesDrTran111]

I think this is being leveraged to increase women's paranoia.

Just don't overreact to this and get violent when you and a guy have been flirting for a while and he touches you to see if it's ok.

And be careful what you allow sOme men to get away with but not others. Because the others see a man touch you without permission and you smile about it, they naturally think that it's ok to do that kind of thing.

The great majority of us don't mean you any harm. In fact we love the shit out of you :). We just make mistakes sometimes. I think you're wise enough to know the difference.

[Agent]

Uh, let's not get ignorant. While the guy did commit harassment, based off self-defense laws, in order to defend yourself you must use "as much force as necessary" to remove the perceived threat. Like it or not, the amount of force she exerted on him very clearly exceeded the amount of force required to make him stop--it was more so the result of 'anger' rather than 'intent to prevent harm to herself'. All that was required was to push his hand away and loudly tell him (so other people hear it) not to do what he just did. Something like this has happened to me once; I didn't choke-hold anyone.

Anyway, just for the sake of information, how did the whole situation actually play out, anyway? I don't want to go off assumptions here. Was it a straight-up fully intended ass grab?

[Idontevenknow444]

''whether you are a man or a woman, the risk is a little bit different for women.''

not really. No one suffers from male crime more than males, and more men in prison get raped than women outside of prison. besides that, domestic violence cases are almost equal towards both genders. what I have a problem with is people being sexist morons who use the term ''men'' so loosely when not even a fraction of men do this. Lets here the equivalent to your post but towards another group. A butt grab may not seem like such a big deal to black men. One black man learned this lesson the hard way. this is the equivalent to your logic. in other words, you are on par with a racist by antagonizing a group that I happen to be associated with. as a reader, It honestly feels like you are personally addressing me and other men, who have nothing to do with this. Besides that, there is no proof or evidence of the event besides her tweet and the arrest, but you seem so happy about it, how strange.

[Goodwifie]

I had my brother's fiancee's dad put his hands down the back of my pants when I was 16 I told him to fuck off. It was Christmas day and I decided not to say anything because I knew that my brothers and dad would go after him.
I had a guy grab me after we got got off at the same train station I was 19. I dug my nails into him so hard. lucky for me the guy that worked in the secure parking heard me, looked up and saw what was going on. The guy ran off.
Unfortunately I have been in a situation where I couldn't fight back.
I was at work one day and I was standing there talking to an old man and next thing I know he grabbed me by the shoulder, pulled me in and kissed me on the cheek. I was grabbed in a way that I couldn't move away from him. Now it doesn't seem like much but I didn't tell him that he could touch me, he had no permission. It shook me up and I didn't know what to do.

Maybe this woman was just fed up with the unwanted groping.

[FakeName123]

"When someone puts their hands on you without your consent, that is assault and you have EVERY RIGHT to defend yourself"

No, you don't. There is something called context, moderation and principle of proportionality. And the case you show above doesn't seem to have that.

Next time a girl smacks my ass (and that happened quite a few times), I gonna chokehold her as well. Let's see how you react then - oh wait. You probably would be up in arms, because there is no moderation of my side. And rightfully so.

[Chief16]

So, the next time a guy is harassed by some woman and he does the same, what do you think the public reaction will be? It will be called man brutalizing woman. And chances are HE'S the one who's gonna be handcuffed. And this is the bullshit part. You see when men defend themselves, it usually chalked up as gender violence. When women defend themselves, its some applause worthy deed that deserves a medal. He had it coming? Yeah, sure. From what she says, he was being a douche. She COULD have choked him, have him arrested, taken his picture and told her friends and family and maybe the town would know. But no, she had to take it to social media for a million people to see, what an amazing job she did. That's literally like destroying someone's life. There is no more private life for that guy.

[scarlett]

If he doesn't want to wind up on being blasted on social media then he shouldn't go around grabbing people without their consent. I also have no issue with men defending themselves.

[TheUglyMonk]

While it was harsh and I don't why she did it *talking about posting his picture on social media*, it does a good job sending a message to other people like him to think twice before they try to sexually assault anyone.

[Chief16]

@TheUglyMonk does it? Rape as a major crime hasn't had any dives. Because most rapes are done by serial rapists who know how to avoid the system. And its existed since the dawn of time.

[TheUglyMonk]

@Chief16 Yea I know that. I'm not talking about rapist, I'm talking about people who harass or assault other people, it's so easy to get away with it and what I was saying was if the average sexual assaulter *like that guy* hears about something like that he'll think twice before doing it.

[Chief16]

@TheUglyMonk I don't know about that.

[Bluemax]

"If he doesn't want to wind up on being blasted on social media then he shouldn't go around grabbing people without their consent"

Cause if it's on social media, it *MUST* be true.

[Anpu23]

Here's something for you to chew on, I often wear a kilt and one day fairly recently I was out shopping and I had some strange woman try and lift my kilt in a grocery isle. As a guy what should I have done? I couldn't hit/slap or assault her in any way, going to store staff wouldn't have worked out for me ("what did you do to provoke her?") and the only recourse I had was to leave the situation quickly with her standing there laughing.

This is not an issue only women face, I've had my penis grabbed at a club a few times, I've been catcalled etc. And yes, I was forcefully abducted and raped when I was 13. (Only reason why it was legally rape was I was forced to give felacio to an animal).

Yet it seems that whenever we have this conversation it is "men, keep your hands to yourself" I'll counter by saying PEOPLE keep you GD hands to your Fing self. Why is that so hard?

[MlleCake]

Of course you can slap her hand away, or shove her away, or do whatever you feel you need to. Same when your penis is grabbed.

[Anpu23]

@MlleCake and go to jail. A guy can't hit a woman in the US especially a stranger.

[Anpu23]

@MlleCake check this video and watch how helpless these guys really are: https://youtu.be/KPiN4DJHA64

[MlleCake]

@Anpu23, It's not illegal to use appropriate force in self defense in the US. We are learning, as a society, to understand some of the experiences men have with assault and violence. They are not well understood, and I want men to feel like these are things they can speak about and effect positive change in society by activism to increase our understanding and create resources for men.

I am sorry if you feel you have no physical recourse in these situations because of societal prejudices. Many women feel they also have no physical recourse, so I can relate to you on what you're feeling.

But I created a whole thread for you to discuss THIS issue instead of continuing to derail a thread that is about something else, that is also entirely legitimate.

[skykid1992]

Honestly she over do it she should have give him. A warning or dirty look or a slap to the face. And if he didn't stop or come for 2nd then she should have broke his hand or kiss his ass. Random girls slap my ex 70% of the time when am out but you dont seem me putting them in choke hands.. yes am a big guy but thats not the point. I have had women all of size hit me even punch me in the face with out anyone to run away but never once hit them back. Normally if am in a pubic place other men come to my aid or some girls but very rarely.

[Blonde401]

I think she's bad ass. I had a guy grab me in my own workplace a few weeks ago and I went mental. I didn't touch him though, we have bouncers for a reason but had it been anywhere else... guy would have had his fingers broken.

[Bluemax]

"I think she's bad ass"

If things went down as she alleges, then I agree. Serious question though. What evidence is there that everything went down exactly as she alleges? See my response. Same questions to you.

[AndrewMG]

@Blonde401 ... Look I'd had one or two beers, I was in the wrong but that's no excuse to turn my hand into the shape of an Oven glove!! lol

[Blonde401]

@Bluemax 'she alleges'. Get lost. Why would she make that up. If there was cause to arrest him it clearly comes down to more than just her alleging.

[Blonde401]

@Bluemax if you want me to read your response post it here. I'm not going to search for your post. Get over yourself.

[gaguser2453]

''why would she make that up'' because people do that all the time. the logical conclusion is we dont know. sadly, we have people who pick sides. what I just said is irrefutable. now block me like you did to the other guy.

[Blonde401]

@gaguser2453 so the photo of him in cuffs means she's made it all up? Yeah ok son. And I didn't block anyone on this thread. If you wanna argue with me then come up with facts, don't assume I've blocked anyone because I haven't.

[Blonde401]

@gaguser2453 I love that you assume his lack of response is because I blocked him 😂 No. He can still comment. He's not been blocked.

[gaguser2453]

''so the photo of him in cuffs means she's made it all up? '' I didn't say that, all I simply said was we dont know what happened. all she did was send out a tweet, sadly, thats enough for you to lock him away for years. please, never goto jury duty. And I assume you blocked him because you had done the same to me some time back when I was using another account. you are intolerant, and you dont really care about facts either because nobody can tell you anything. Anyways, im really expecting you to do what you did before

[Blonde401]

@gaguser2453 ah congrats on revealing yourself. I'm sure I blocked you because you're a woman hating, intolerant person yourself. Thanks for letting me know that I need to block you all over again! I don't block BlueMax because he's not a woman hating loser and I don't mind a debate with him. I love how you assume I shouldn't be on jury duty because I like a story I've read. Enjoying a story and sitting on jury duty couldn't be further away from each other. But it's pretty clear you hate women and you need to let everyone know that.

[Blonde401]

@gaguser2453 what a loser you are that you have to create new accounts to get out of being blocked. I block people who are abusive. So you must have been abusive to me. Or you just didn't let it go. I also block people who don't know when to walk away.

[gaguser2453]

a women hater? name one hate quote I said towards women

[Blonde401]

@gaguser2453 you're practically defending a man who sexually assaulted a woman. But we don't know all the facts? Yeah sure. If it's made up then there's nothing to fear is there? Whatever. You hate women and have to assume that all women make shit up to get men in jail. Bye.

[gaguser2453]

you make no sense, thats why you blocked me because we both knew it. I brought up jury duty because you are not concerned with facts of the story. you actually look up to this lady and automatically think she can do no wrong and is innocent! and I am the women hater? you are more of a man hater, self projecting your issues on me.

[gaguser2453]

and I never said anything negative towards women, I did not assume she was guilty, however you assumed she was automatically right and the guy deserved what he got from a simple tweet. no need to block me, ill just mute this

[gaguser2453]

I didn't create a new account because you blocked me.

[gaguser2453]

again, you make no sense.

[gaguser2453]

muted

[Blonde401]

@gaguser2453 I must have really affected your life for you to remember that I blocked you 😥 Waaahh. I don't see you saying anything on the comments of men saying she was right?

[Blonde401]

@gaguser2453 and I'll block you because I blocked you for a reason and you think you can escape that by making multiple accounts. Loser.