There is something inherently wrong with the idea that "women has to be XXX". In fact, a woman doesn't have to do anything. You have it wrong. It's the women themselves who have lost their way demanded people to change their preference.
So what if I like beautiful women who have brains to run a business as well as taking care of her family and be a wonderful wife? What's wrong with that? You don't like it then you can go get your own preference.
Men decide what they want. Women do not have the right to interfere. They do not have the right to decide what a man should like.
A woman can do whatever she wants. She can like whatever she likes. If she want to eat cake all day and be fatter than a hippo then she can do that.
However, she can not ask people to look at her fat ass and call her beautiful. If I don't like what I see, I will tell her I don't like her looks.
You know how this all happened, the push of the feminist movement. Us men were just fine you guys having the first ideology or even the second. But now that women want to be equal to men, which is fine, you forgot, we have to compete daily for that bread winning career or position. Also, us men have always had to compete ever since we were born really. We are the men. The ones that are the protectors, the hunters, the ones that are the wall. So, that later 2 you were talking about (the second and third demands) we've been doing that since men began. I'm sorry you feel that you are now forced to meet impossible goals, but you chose the path to be our equals in all facets of life. "Women can do anything men can.", is the mantra I've heard preached by most women. Now you're complaining about having to live up to that mantra? Sorry if I don't pull out my smallest violin.
You have a good grasp of life and agree. The one thing I find is for to be successful they end up having to be Ike men (ruthless ) . By not being all the qualities you have mentioned you stop being women. It is a dog eat dog world and if women were in charge life would be a lot better for all. There is a film that I like that demonstrates my feelings 9 to 5 . Not the part how they treat the manger but the way they run the business. It looks after everyone.. You might be thinking I've lost it but people treat properly you get more out of them.. I was born the wrong gender so I wish I could be 100% with you !!! k
Women are choosing to burden themselves with these expectations nowadays. There are countless opportunities for the average western woman currently. We as men have many expectations to live up to in society as well, but we have to shut up and get it done. This is what women asked for... to be one of the men. This is what men have to deal with everyday, so if please don't complain because it isn't what you thought it would be. Being a man isn't easy and I know being a woman isn't easy as well... however it comes with a complete different set of challenges. Completely reverse the logic and see how ridiculous it would sound if men were complaining about not having the same privileges as women.
anyone who says women as an entire group today are more oppressed than ever literally have no understanding of what life was like a in that not so distant past that our mothers and grandmothers lived through.
It’s a complete fallacy that totally disrespects the women that came before us and gave us the benefits we have today.
I personally don’t believe it’s worth discussing the rest because if we don’t see eye to eye on that then there’s not much left to talk about.
5
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
There is a lot of pressure on both woman and men in different ways! This conversation could go on and on and on...
I think eh point is to just stick to your values and pave your own path! We all have to do it, and those that don’t figure it out sooner rather than later are wasting their valuable time. Find someone who meshes with you and build happiness.
I want a helpmeet. Someone with complimentary skills and a joie de vivre. That's it. Kids/no kids, job/no job, looks/no looks; none of the rest of that matters. Everything else is up for grabs. Most guys are like me. They want a partner, not Superwoman. She doesn't have to be all and do all; that's something women put on themselves. I call it "Toxic Femininity" (thank you, feminists, for the label).
"The third demand, however, is where stuff gets truly insidious. This demand requires that on top of fulfilling both traditionally female and traditionally male roles, women are to do so under a narrow, unrealistic set of standards, which says you have to be sexy, thin/fit, pretty, clean shaven, have a great boyfriend/partner and kids, and be wildly successful at one’s career."
Really? It seems only half of women at most are healthy weight (not fat) and have decently long hair (at least touching their shoulders.) They don't seem to care much about their looks.
A lot of women do not have the time and income to work on their body. That's why the poorer a woman is, the more likely she is to be overweight. It's almost like society has flipped a switch. That's not an excuse to not look presentable. You can still look good even if you're overweight because there are more and more venues that offer clothes or teach women how to dress even with bigger bodies. You make it sound like the majority of women are not hot nor care to be. How does a woman have to look in order to be considered hot is the question. A lot of time, money and energy goes into maintaining a certain look. If thin is the only way to be hot, than I suggest it is our society that needs to change in how it looks at beauty standards.
Beauty standards are not going to change no matter how we try to change our society because what we consider beautiful is biological. That's never going to go away. The focus should instead be to not put down women - or men - who don't live up to those standards. Unrealistic expectations stem from the fact that because of make-up, fashion and plastic surgery (and photoshop obviously), we can observe a lot of women fulfilling pretty much all of the traits we biologically consider attractive and beautiful. Naturally, very few people have ALL of those traits, and very few people have none of those traits. But now, because of everything people can do to look better (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, if it makes them feel better, then it's great), there's a lot more to compare ourselves to. We cannot change our beauty standards, we can just try our best to not judge people for not reaching up to them.
I read an interesting study about obesity in the black community. Poorer black women are more obese than wealthier black women and poorer black men are less likely to be obese than wealthy black men.
I would agree to an extent. But if you work a menial job where you constantly have to stretch to make ends meet plus take care of the household and kids, that gets in the way pretty quick. Some people also take medication that lets them not lose the weight. The point is though that being thin is an expectation, which, the fact that we're discussing this, proves.
who told you to be all that? who on earth is telling you you need this and that? where are the chains bound to your neck going up to?
and why do you think all that matters because humans more often than not won't give a damn about each other and live a peaceful life.
so pls stop this Tumblr bullshit
9
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
It seems people are ignoring the fact that women now have access to careers and work, but they're still expected to have/raise children and do the house work or it's always assumed that the mother should give up her career for her children and not the man. The 21st century has tripled women's work load. If only men lifted more of a finger and it was entirely equal!
5
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Nice mytake though I'm going to have to warn you about claiming feminism is doing good when in the last decade many. False feminists poisioned the waters.
And it's not so much demands as much as it's highly suggested. If you choose not to do it, it's not really anyone else's fault your not attracting attention from guys.
You don't have to be like Laura Croft or wonder woman. You just have to seem passionate. Guys also more often will take the sexy personality over the hot model like girl. Cause while yes guys find models attractive but let's be real models are a niche.
Any guy who is demanding his girlfriend have a model body type. Is no better or worse than the delusional gold digging girls who want a boyfriend who is muscle bound or just way too unrealistically muscular.
Basically be careful where and how much you play the victim in this subject area.
Superwoman Fallacy? Lol, more like Straw woman fallacy. You're running out of things you want to blame men for. Sigh, pathetic women will always be pathetic. They like to fantasize they live in Saudi Arabia or something. Feminists spoil the good name of hard working women everywhere else.
I am successful at both but then all the guys are scared of me lol... And that's the problem, if I'm good at everything what good is a relationship anyways, I want a relationship where we benefit each other not where I carry a useless boy around just so I can say I'm taken and Mark that off the success chart. There just is never any "right way" you just have to put what you can into life and be happy with the little wins.
Hey! Apologies in advance if advice wasn't asked for I think it's possible to overcome that.
If you think about not only what you'd like your potential partner to have, but also what he doesn't need to have/be, this could maybe be communicated? Because I think what makes men uneasy in this scenario is that they assume (which they shouldn't but still...) that they have to be great at everything all at once to "measure up".
So I think it can be overcome by putting cards on the table "I'm hoping to find a man who is X, Y, but he really doesn't need to be/do V, Z".
@CharlieUnicorn I don't think it will help, I'm not willing to sacrifice what I want, and if someone was strong enough to have me as their woman they wouldn't need a peptalk first.
I won't support him but I also don't expect anything fiscal from him. I expect him to defend me physically I don't need emotional support. He has to have a high sex drive but I don't care if he's good looking. ... But really it's not that bloody complicated, I want a man to defend the perimeter while I build a family all they would have to do is not try to fuck me over for an extended period of time but that isn't doable because if they think they can get a little more they will always try to take it. No one fights for anything but themselves anymore so I'm forced to do the same.
Certainly not sacrifice as in, have another type of relationship as one actually want.
I was talking more about initial stages. First meetings, datings and well, first sex too. Personally, I don't believe those things need to be stellar, when the end goal is the long relationship anyway, but to each their own. I think if you feel like you're dating outside the norm somehow, or there's a communication barrier, best you can do is to be very proactive in dating (the approacher), search wide and also be very honest and blunt (like you were here). Good method to quickly weed out the majority who you wouldn't work out with anyway. The prize one pays in that scenario is that dating becomes a tad less intuitive, sexy and romantic I guess, but what can you do? On the other hand, it can be fun to screw all dating rules sideways to Sunday, and those who can't handle it, well you're too hot to handle for them. :)
But isn't this dilemma because women wanted it? They want to be heavenly nurturers, business executives and maintain an attractive form that they can reject men with (or accept, upon their whim).
Yes women were oppressed, bht I think now the pendulum has swung a bit too far to compensate.
The author of this book had too much time on their hands and wrote bunch of nonsense. Sure, society has demands, even on men. Then don’t do it, follow your own path. Oh gosh! *rolls eyes*
9
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Ok it’s too much. I don’t care any more. Everywhere you go now: “boo hoo hoo, women are oppressed, things are so hard, boo hoo hoo”.
I look around my life: all the women I know do what they want. None are oppressed. They can be whatever they want or not. They can like, do, and excell at whatever they want. But holy shit they like to complain about everything.
Ya well, change things or don’t. just shut up about it and do something.
lol.. This is just Feminists digging holes and filling them back in. You'd have to be pretty far gone to have your mind and/or emotions wrapped up in this crap.
What's the solution to this? 1. Say fuck off to Feminism 2. Maslow's hierarchy of needs. 3. Fixed.
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
The only thing I never liked about these kinds of messages is the idea that society cares, at large, about any given individual. "Women" should be extended to "Women [who are of high rank in society]" as I don't think the common woman is afflicted. By and large for all rights and purposes the general person in any society doesn't receive criticism for simply 'being' so much as they do for expressing opinions that ultimately no one will remember, themselves included, in public forums.
For instance no one expects most people, male or female, to achieve high positions in society. The average woman is not a supermodel or wealthy and the nature of the lack of scaling pay (read as: low wages) is what majorly causes women to work in many cases where both parents must work.
The point of 'complaint' that is unclear to me: Women had asked for their additional rights; now it appears as if you grudge that you need to be competent in those rights. Not, that I am unwilling to grant you any right that I have (and vice versa), but to play the game with two different sets of standards counteracts the idea of equality.
i honestly couldn't care less about most of that stuff, i just want a woman, who is mature, loyal, honest, kind and monogamous. Looks wise, if she even has a flat chest and a flat ass, she would still be the most and only hottest woman for me. Its just a big label that FemiNAZI's are using to label men with, Mostly men dont expect that much from a woman, but instead women expect mostly those things from men.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
69Opinion
There is something inherently wrong with the idea that "women has to be XXX". In fact, a woman doesn't have to do anything. You have it wrong. It's the women themselves who have lost their way demanded people to change their preference.
So what if I like beautiful women who have brains to run a business as well as taking care of her family and be a wonderful wife? What's wrong with that? You don't like it then you can go get your own preference.
Men decide what they want. Women do not have the right to interfere. They do not have the right to decide what a man should like.
A woman can do whatever she wants. She can like whatever she likes. If she want to eat cake all day and be fatter than a hippo then she can do that.
However, she can not ask people to look at her fat ass and call her beautiful. If I don't like what I see, I will tell her I don't like her looks.
You know how this all happened, the push of the feminist movement. Us men were just fine you guys having the first ideology or even the second. But now that women want to be equal to men, which is fine, you forgot, we have to compete daily for that bread winning career or position. Also, us men have always had to compete ever since we were born really. We are the men. The ones that are the protectors, the hunters, the ones that are the wall. So, that later 2 you were talking about (the second and third demands) we've been doing that since men began. I'm sorry you feel that you are now forced to meet impossible goals, but you chose the path to be our equals in all facets of life. "Women can do anything men can.", is the mantra I've heard preached by most women. Now you're complaining about having to live up to that mantra? Sorry if I don't pull out my smallest violin.
You have a good grasp of life and agree. The one thing I find is for to be successful they end up having to be Ike men (ruthless ) . By not being all the qualities you have mentioned you stop being women.
It is a dog eat dog world and if women were in charge life would be a lot better for all. There is a film that I like that demonstrates my feelings 9 to 5 . Not the part how they treat the manger but the way they run the business. It looks after everyone.. You might be thinking I've lost it but people treat properly you get more out of them.. I was born the wrong gender so I wish I could be 100% with you !!! k
Women are choosing to burden themselves with these expectations nowadays. There are countless opportunities for the average western woman currently. We as men have many expectations to live up to in society as well, but we have to shut up and get it done. This is what women asked for... to be one of the men. This is what men have to deal with everyday, so if please don't complain because it isn't what you thought it would be. Being a man isn't easy and I know being a woman isn't easy as well... however it comes with a complete different set of challenges. Completely reverse the logic and see how ridiculous it would sound if men were complaining about not having the same privileges as women.
anyone who says women as an entire group today are more oppressed than ever literally have no understanding of what life was like a in that not so distant past that our mothers and grandmothers lived through.
It’s a complete fallacy that totally disrespects the women that came before us and gave us the benefits we have today.
I personally don’t believe it’s worth discussing the rest because if we don’t see eye to eye on that then there’s not much left to talk about.
There is a lot of pressure on both woman and men in different ways! This conversation could go on and on and on...
I think eh point is to just stick to your values and pave your own path! We all have to do it, and those that don’t figure it out sooner rather than later are wasting their valuable time. Find someone who meshes with you and build happiness.
I want a helpmeet. Someone with complimentary skills and a joie de vivre. That's it. Kids/no kids, job/no job, looks/no looks; none of the rest of that matters. Everything else is up for grabs.
Most guys are like me. They want a partner, not Superwoman. She doesn't have to be all and do all; that's something women put on themselves. I call it "Toxic Femininity" (thank you, feminists, for the label).
"The third demand, however, is where stuff gets truly insidious. This demand requires that on top of fulfilling both traditionally female and traditionally male roles, women are to do so under a narrow, unrealistic set of standards, which says you have to be sexy, thin/fit, pretty, clean shaven, have a great boyfriend/partner and kids, and be wildly successful at one’s career."
Really? It seems only half of women at most are healthy weight (not fat) and have decently long hair (at least touching their shoulders.) They don't seem to care much about their looks.
Right. I'm not saying they are. I'm saying there's the pressure to look like that is there.
I feel like if there was much pressure to do that, we'd see more women going with it and working hard to look hot.
A lot of women do not have the time and income to work on their body. That's why the poorer a woman is, the more likely she is to be overweight. It's almost like society has flipped a switch. That's not an excuse to not look presentable. You can still look good even if you're overweight because there are more and more venues that offer clothes or teach women how to dress even with bigger bodies. You make it sound like the majority of women are not hot nor care to be. How does a woman have to look in order to be considered hot is the question. A lot of time, money and energy goes into maintaining a certain look. If thin is the only way to be hot, than I suggest it is our society that needs to change in how it looks at beauty standards.
Beauty standards are not going to change no matter how we try to change our society because what we consider beautiful is biological. That's never going to go away. The focus should instead be to not put down women - or men - who don't live up to those standards. Unrealistic expectations stem from the fact that because of make-up, fashion and plastic surgery (and photoshop obviously), we can observe a lot of women fulfilling pretty much all of the traits we biologically consider attractive and beautiful. Naturally, very few people have ALL of those traits, and very few people have none of those traits. But now, because of everything people can do to look better (which isn't necessarily a bad thing, if it makes them feel better, then it's great), there's a lot more to compare ourselves to. We cannot change our beauty standards, we can just try our best to not judge people for not reaching up to them.
I read an interesting study about obesity in the black community. Poorer black women are more obese than wealthier black women and poorer black men are less likely to be obese than wealthy black men.
Not to mention... Look at maria chang, fitness mom. She stayed fit with 3 small children.
Maria Chang is an exception, not the rule.
For sure. Though low income doesn't seem a valid excuse to be obese.
I would agree to an extent. But if you work a menial job where you constantly have to stretch to make ends meet plus take care of the household and kids, that gets in the way pretty quick. Some people also take medication that lets them not lose the weight. The point is though that being thin is an expectation, which, the fact that we're discussing this, proves.
who told you to be all that? who on earth is telling you you need this and that? where are the chains bound to your neck going up to?
and why do you think all that matters because humans more often than not won't give a damn about each other and live a peaceful life.
so pls stop this Tumblr bullshit
It seems people are ignoring the fact that women now have access to careers and work, but they're still expected to have/raise children and do the house work or it's always assumed that the mother should give up her career for her children and not the man. The 21st century has tripled women's work load. If only men lifted more of a finger and it was entirely equal!
Nice mytake though I'm going to have to warn you about claiming feminism is doing good when in the last decade many. False feminists poisioned the waters.
And it's not so much demands as much as it's highly suggested. If you choose not to do it, it's not really anyone else's fault your not attracting attention from guys.
You don't have to be like Laura Croft or wonder woman. You just have to seem passionate. Guys also more often will take the sexy personality over the hot model like girl. Cause while yes guys find models attractive but let's be real models are a niche.
Any guy who is demanding his girlfriend have a model body type. Is no better or worse than the delusional gold digging girls who want a boyfriend who is muscle bound or just way too unrealistically muscular.
Basically be careful where and how much you play the victim in this subject area.
Superwoman Fallacy? Lol, more like Straw woman fallacy. You're running out of things you want to blame men for. Sigh, pathetic women will always be pathetic. They like to fantasize they live in Saudi Arabia or something. Feminists spoil the good name of hard working women everywhere else.
I like Kirk better. lol
Just kidding. I’m in love with 7 of 9.
@Ms_Meaghan From Memory Alpha?
Yeah. Voyager was a great show.
I am successful at both but then all the guys are scared of me lol... And that's the problem, if I'm good at everything what good is a relationship anyways, I want a relationship where we benefit each other not where I carry a useless boy around just so I can say I'm taken and Mark that off the success chart. There just is never any "right way" you just have to put what you can into life and be happy with the little wins.
Hey! Apologies in advance if advice wasn't asked for I think it's possible to overcome that.
If you think about not only what you'd like your potential partner to have, but also what he doesn't need to have/be, this could maybe be communicated?
Because I think what makes men uneasy in this scenario is that they assume (which they shouldn't but still...) that they have to be great at everything all at once to "measure up".
So I think it can be overcome by putting cards on the table "I'm hoping to find a man who is X, Y, but he really doesn't need to be/do V, Z".
@CharlieUnicorn I don't think it will help, I'm not willing to sacrifice what I want, and if someone was strong enough to have me as their woman they wouldn't need a peptalk first.
I won't support him but I also don't expect anything fiscal from him.
I expect him to defend me physically I don't need emotional support.
He has to have a high sex drive but I don't care if he's good looking.
... But really it's not that bloody complicated, I want a man to defend the perimeter while I build a family all they would have to do is not try to fuck me over for an extended period of time but that isn't doable because if they think they can get a little more they will always try to take it. No one fights for anything but themselves anymore so I'm forced to do the same.
Certainly not sacrifice as in, have another type of relationship as one actually want.
I was talking more about initial stages. First meetings, datings and well, first sex too. Personally, I don't believe those things need to be stellar, when the end goal is the long relationship anyway, but to each their own.
I think if you feel like you're dating outside the norm somehow, or there's a communication barrier, best you can do is to be very proactive in dating (the approacher), search wide and also be very honest and blunt (like you were here). Good method to quickly weed out the majority who you wouldn't work out with anyway.
The prize one pays in that scenario is that dating becomes a tad less intuitive, sexy and romantic I guess, but what can you do?
On the other hand, it can be fun to screw all dating rules sideways to Sunday, and those who can't handle it, well you're too hot to handle for them. :)
But isn't this dilemma because women wanted it? They want to be heavenly nurturers, business executives and maintain an attractive form that they can reject men with (or accept, upon their whim).
Yes women were oppressed, bht I think now the pendulum has swung a bit too far to compensate.
The author of this book had too much time on their hands and wrote bunch of nonsense. Sure, society has demands, even on men. Then don’t do it, follow your own path. Oh gosh! *rolls eyes*
Ok it’s too much. I don’t care any more. Everywhere you go now: “boo hoo hoo, women are oppressed, things are so hard, boo hoo hoo”.
I look around my life: all the women I know do what they want. None are oppressed. They can be whatever they want or not. They can like, do, and excell at whatever they want.
But holy shit they like to complain about everything.
Ya well, change things or don’t. just shut up about it and do something.
Bitching does nothing.
lol.. This is just Feminists digging holes and filling them back in. You'd have to be pretty far gone to have your mind and/or emotions wrapped up in this crap.
What's the solution to this?
1. Say fuck off to Feminism
2. Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
3. Fixed.
The only thing I never liked about these kinds of messages is the idea that society cares, at large, about any given individual. "Women" should be extended to "Women [who are of high rank in society]" as I don't think the common woman is afflicted. By and large for all rights and purposes the general person in any society doesn't receive criticism for simply 'being' so much as they do for expressing opinions that ultimately no one will remember, themselves included, in public forums.
For instance no one expects most people, male or female, to achieve high positions in society. The average woman is not a supermodel or wealthy and the nature of the lack of scaling pay (read as: low wages) is what majorly causes women to work in many cases where both parents must work.
The point of 'complaint' that is unclear to me: Women had asked for their additional rights; now it appears as if you grudge that you need to be competent in those rights. Not, that I am unwilling to grant you any right that I have (and vice versa), but to play the game with two different sets of standards counteracts the idea of equality.
i honestly couldn't care less about most of that stuff, i just want a woman, who is mature, loyal, honest, kind and monogamous.
Looks wise, if she even has a flat chest and a flat ass, she would still be the most and only hottest woman for me.
Its just a big label that FemiNAZI's are using to label men with, Mostly men dont expect that much from a woman, but instead women expect mostly those things from men.
I just want to point out that this take isn’t about how you feel about women. It’s about how women feel about themselves.