Do You Believe Social Anxiety is a Fake/Exaggerated Disorder?

[Wispofnothing]

A couple years ago in high school, an immediate family member of mine passed away. Before they passed away, I was just a kid who kept to myself mostly, and due to not frequently being socialized, I had a little bit of anxiety when dealing with people(looking back, I was really just a shy kid, nothing more). Anyways, when I went back to school after a short mourning period, I was suddenly coddled by my guidance counselor and lots of friends, among others.

One friend, whom I just recently became close with at the time, had her share of issues. Issues that I realized later down the road were self-inflicted for attention and hurting others. One of her many problems was social anxiety. She would always complain about it and use it as an excuse not to do things, but I thought she was serious so I would go along with it. Eventually, I started to observe her anxiety and assumed that was what my shyness was and what I felt.

For an exaggerated example, I would think, “Oh, I feel ever-so-slightly uncomfortable in a large room filled with people. I must have ‘crippling’ social anxiety”. And this is what I really believed! I believed that these feelings were unique to me, so I must have some special, debilitating problem with social behaviour.

Once I self-diagnosed myself with social anxiety, this friend and I would feed off of each other’s problems. I remember skipping class so she and I could go to the counselor to talk about our “feelings” and how awful we feel. The more we did this and the more the counselor encouraged me to talk about my problems, the more I believed I had “crippling” anxiety.

Soon, I found myself at the doctor's office! I complained to the doctor about my issues and how I wanted therapy and a signed note to do online classes through my school. The first thing the doctor suggested was pills. Pills. I always thought that doctors being pill-pushers was just a rumor, but that day had me wondering if it were true.

I got my note signed and started doing my classes online. The classes were through my school, so I was still technically a student and could go there, which I did as I was involved with clubs. The friend of mine did this as well. Funny thing is is that she would wander the halls and enjoy all lunch periods. I just hid in the classroom out of embarrassment.

Thankfully this only continued for a short while, because I switched to a strictly online school and stopped being friends with her after she did some pretty crazy things. I also distanced myself from talking to counselors. I went to a paid therapist once, but I thought it was ridiculous and didn’t go back.

By the way, this was only in the span of my first half of freshman year. Anyways, while spending time away from school and friends, I just focused on school and extracurriculars. During this time, I retained remnants of my “social anxiety” and would have conflicts with it sometimes, but eventually I got over it.

I don’t really know how, but one day I just woke up without it. When I used to go shopping, I would feel the anxiety, but after a while the thoughts of anxiety didn’t even occur to me when in public. I believe it is because this “anxiety” I had was just shyness blown up and enabled by my own need for attention, my friend’s need to suffer with problems, and professionals needs to “help” people. And once I stopped surrounding myself with those people, the conflicts disappeared.

It really saddens me looking back at that first half of school. Looking back at how blind I was, although I was just a kid. I see now that people like that girl I was friends with treat this mental disorder as an excuse to have special treatment when there are people out there who deserve it more, and use this disorder to feel special. I see her nowadays and she has every self-diagnosable disorder imaginable as a means to emit pity and attention from others.

Now, I am free of any “disorders” and am doing well with school and socializing. With my head clear, I see how wrong I was for at that time. It is embarrassing, really. I feel bad for my teachers and everyone I burdened by making them cater to my oh-so-sensitive feelings when I should have just grown-up and dealt with it. I also feel bad for my family. Instead of focusing on my family after losing a loved one, I focused on my self-pity.

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Just the other day, I was at a banquet to deliver a speech for a scholarship. When I introduced myself, the people in charge told me I didn’t have to give my speech if I was uncomfortable. Really!?! It reminded me of the old me. The me who would have brought up my anxiety as an excuse not to go up there and speak in front of people even though these people are giving me money to pay for school. Yes, I was a little uncomfortable speaking up there(okay fine, I was shaking and sweating XD), but who WOULDN’T be uncomfortable. That is just a human thing. I’d be damned if I didn’t give that speech. It would have been completely disrespectful if someone didn’t give that speech, after all these people have done. There is no excuse not to, no matter how much “social anxiety” one has.

Overall: I guess I am saying in my case that my “social anxiety” was fake and completely blown up. And I also believe that is the case for a lot of people nowadays from what I observed. However, I am not saying that EVERYONE’S anxiety is fake. I know there are people out there who do suffer from it, and I am sorry you have to go through that. I am also sorry that there are people out there(sadly, myself included) who have jumped on this disorder as a means for attention, excuses, etc.

It is frustrating sometimes when there are people out there really suffering. Suffering from things like drug addiction, human trafficking, poverty, war, and so much more. Yet they suffer through it and fight for comfort, while there are people who need sessions upon sessions of counseling among other things so that they can talk about how a crowded room makes them uneasy. This goes for anyone who needs to talk to a counselor for ridiculous problems.

Like there are soldiers who suffer from REAL post-traumatic stress disorder. THEY are the ones who need the help first. When I was skipping to my class to talk to my counselor, there are people being counseled on things MUCH worse. Even though the death of my immediate family member isn’t too much to handle compared to the things others have been through.

Also, have any of you heard of the term “snowflake”? It is often used by Republicans to label college kids. I agree with the term, too. It is pathetic/ironic how college kids complain about everything when they have it more easy than anyone else in the world.

Sorry for the rant?

Note: Apologies if my writing isn’t that good or if I digress too much, I am a youngin’. Also I appreciate your opinions on the topic, especially from your experiences with real social anxiety. I love new perspectives, as I only have the eyes to see mine.

[Anonymous]

america is a right wing nation and right wingers say that mental health is just a lot of nonsense. So basically every mental health diagnosis is a fake

[Wispofnothing]

Thank you for your response:) I don't really understand your answer, though:/ how could all right-wingers not have mental illnesses and then only a bunch of left-wingers have mental illnesses? Your point kind of makes it sound like they are made up.

[Opinion Owner]

I was saying that conservatives have for years claimed that the science of mental health is illegitimate science. THey have claimed bipolar disorde, social anxiety disorder and schizophrenia are excuses for immoral or even criminal behavior. Mental health is emphasized in the overall medical picture in all the western democracies except for the US.

[LongWhiteBeard]

I had bad social anxiety when I was young. Then Broke out of it somehow at about 14... so maybe.

[Wispofnothing]

I'm glad to hear that you got over it and thanks for sharing. If you don't mind me asking, were you ever given special treatment for it? Or were you ever "enabled" for it? Thank you!

By the way, is that Pai Mei in your profile pic?:)

[LongWhiteBeard]

l@Wispofnothing

Thanks. No, I didn't get treatment. Yes it's him. Question time for you?

1. Your question was asked in a way where you think it's fake... Yes?
2. People with anxiety disorders won't share stories because of that title. Most people air not going reading your story...
3.. Maybe you want to tell people it's all in their head to help them?
4. Are you commonly associated with people who have disorders? l
5. Do you enjoy reading them and telling them it's ok?
6. Do you enjoy violent movies?
7. Are you happy right now? Or Just bored?

[Wispofnothing]

1) Correct
2) I've noticed, but it's no matter. I am just glad I got to write about this topic.
3) Oh, that's a better way of putting it XD. Unfortunately, I can't change the title.
4) I don't associate with any one who has a disorder during my day-to-day life, but I did start up a support group. So I am occasionally.
5) I don't think so. . ? I don't really know what I was expecting people to respond. I assumed some would agree that it is a little exaggerated while others who have the disorder would say I am wrong. I guess I wanted people to share their opinions so that I can get different perspectives. I am not good at relating with people.

These last two questions seem. . . off, but I suppose I don't mind answering.

6) Yes

7) I don't really understand this question. Normally it would be are you happy or sad. But anyways, I am indifferent. I am neither happy nor sad, and I am neither entertained nor bored.

What is with the last two oddball questions?:)

[Reach500]

I understand why you think social anxiety may be a fake/exaggerated disorder. There are some people who have mild cases that they can work through. One thing I would tell you, though, is that some people experience it on a scale that you can't even imagine.

[Anonymous]

No I don’t