Big Girls Unite

[TheDevilInside]

To: All my fellow big girls...

Society has been less than nice to us.

We're the butt of jokes, bullied and hurt... As if we're objects with no feelings.
"Fat people are funny," they say.

Society worships skinny bodies.

BMI defines your value. Numbers, man... Numbers. Your value is based on numbers.

Who are we... WHAT are we, that numbers define what we're worth?

Aren't we people? Aren't we humans?

Don't we have the right to be viewed as humans, and not as numbers?

You and I, we have our own minds.

We're not stupid, nor are we pathetic.

We're regular humans, and we have the same rights to be respected, just like everybody else.

Thin people are not better than us. They're just a few NUMBERS apart from us.

Numbers don't mean a thing. Kindness means a thing.

Being kind to others, being kind to yourself, is what makes humans valuable.

Lose weight if it makes you feel better.
Lose weight if it makes you healthier.
But don't lose weight just to satisfy a society that worships numbers.

Be strong, my big girls.
May that big body be a house for a big heart and a big personality.
Give the finger to all the number-obsessed haters.
Pity them, they have a very narrow view of life.
We are all valuable. We are all beautiful, we are all awesome.

[LogicBomber]

First of all.. society hasn't picked on fat women in years, they constantly try and push the fat is sexy or healthy agenda, which by the way is wrong on so many levels.
https://i.imgur.com/GvDP6if.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/cEeasTG.jpg

Fat men are openly mocked and ridiculed. But unlike fat females, they don't band together and create massive media circus bullshit to try and convince fat females that its ok to be obese. Fat males know it's unhealthy and will try and do something about it.
Society worships thin healthy bodies because they are not only more attractive, they are also not a burden on the health care system.
Your BMI defines your health not your value. Jesus does fat cells affect mental capacity as well?

Thin people are actually better than you, they are healthier and they are less of a burden on the healthcare system.

You need to stop talking about numbers defining you, if your "number" is that of an obese person, be it weight or BMI or whatever, then it isn't "defining you" it's "warning you". It's letting you know that on the metric of health you are over and need to become healthier. This is why we measure things with numbers and values.

It's also ironic that fat women are often height queens who judge men on their height (which they can't change) but refuse to be judged on their weight (which they can change).

[JuarezTheCurious]

Damn dude... kudos to you... you were EXTREMELY blunt, ESPECIALLY with that fat car pic comparison (lmao)... but you said what needed to be said, and you said it GOOD.

[TheDevilInside]

nobody said that fat is beautiful. that's not what I'm promoting. I'm just promoting that fat people are still PEOPLE. And should be valued as such. And should be respected and treated no differently than skinny people.

[LogicBomber]

No one says that fat people aren't people. Especially fat women. As you can see from the post above... most media glorifies fat women. The only time it isn't glorified is when it's about health because fat isn't healthy no matter what fat pride tries to suggest.
And those who criticise it aren't dehumanizing the people, they are criticising the lifestyle and mentality.

In regards to being treated like skinny people... skinny girls get shamed by fat girls openly.
But a thin girl shaming a fat girl will be metaphorically burned at the stake.
Thin girls on youtube are banned for "promoting eating disorders" while fat girls are glorified for being "confident".
Skinny girls get banned on

[Benedek38]

You believe what you want, but be consistent.
Do these men look attractive to you? If you DON'T find them attractive, you are a hypocrite.

[JuarezTheCurious]

The hypocrisy is real, indeed, in situations like this 😂😂😂

[TheDevilInside]

I might have written this take when I'm drunk, but where did I say anything about attractiveness? I'm only talking about respect and value as a human, not as a number.

[CHARismatic110]

Well said. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself in whatever body you're in. You kinda have to before you can take any steps towards doing something to change it if that's the choice you want. The number on the scale is not always an indicator of good or bad health either. I don't agree with body shaming of any sort. I feel like people should do less worrying about other people's bodies and more minding their own business. And no, I don't wanna hear about your fake concerns about women's health and heart disease or any of that because I know that most of you don't care about that lol.

[JuarezTheCurious]

While I'm personally completely against the fat acceptance movement (I'm against fat shaming just as much, but I also don't like obesity being encouraged), I completely agree with your comment. Just all of it. From loving yourself before making a change, to the number not always indicating health, to fat shaming being bad, to minding your own business, etc... I agree with all of it. :)

[CHARismatic110]

@JuarezTheCurious thank you

[JuarezTheCurious]

No problem! #^-^#

[TheDevilInside]

YES! Thank you! Idiots still believe in the BMI defining someone's health condition. Brainwashed sheep...

[VaIiant]

Being fat isn't a disability. Unless you truly have a disability that's causing you to be fat, complaining about society not accepting you isn't exactly appropriate.
Eating more carbs and sugar then your body can handle and not exercising properly makes you unhealthy. It's not just visually unappealing, it means you have a shorter lifespan and health risks. Its fine to love your body- you should. But you should love it enough to want it to preform at its best, and if you're a size 18 and struggle to walk uphill, thats not preforming its best.

[VaIiant]

Also, just to clarify, anyone can be fat)) I've seen size 2's super out of shape. It's not a matter of your dress size (take Iskra Lawrence- size 14ish, but beautiful and in shape), its a matter of your BMI and how healthy you are. Healthy is beautiful, not skinny or fat.

[TheDevilInside]

if you say healthy is beautiful, then you should ask to see everyone's medical record then before you make a decision on how you want to see them and judge them. Because like I've said in many guys' comments, my BMI is 33 and I have never had any health issues except for genetic ones like asthma. blood sugar is normal. Many skinny people have diabetes, cholesterol levels are high up there, etc. Don't talk about something you only ASSUME to be true, when you don't know if it really is.

[VaIiant]

Could you run several miles?

[JimRSmith]

You know, unless you have some kind of relatively rare disorder, you can take control of this. It's not like you've lost a leg or are blind.

There are serious health implications to being overweight and it's within most people's power to do something about it.

[CoffeeWC]

Guys are labeled fat also. But guys don't go and form groups to stop fat shaming. Instead, we try to lose weight, because BMI defines a person's health. If someone is unhealthy, they try to get better. So if your BMI is bad then it's best to work on your health. It's the same thing for people with low BMI. When a person says you need to lose weight, it's not always intended as an insult. They likely want you to improve your health. If you want people to accept you as you are, complaining won't help. Telling people that it's okay to be fat is like telling someone it's okay to be unhealthy, and they shouldn't try to change it.

[AuroraRoseat]

So you're letting society influence you on what it feels the definition of beauty is? That's what I find is unhealthy.

Some people cannot lose weight, so they've accepted it. But cruelly commenting on anyone (man or woman) is fat-shaming. There is nothing wrong with stating that someone in an unhealthy weight range needs to think about their health, but if someone has extra adipose tissue stored on their body that doesn't affect their health negatively, they shouldn't be criticized.

[CoffeeWC]

@AuroraRoseat I said nothing about beauty. One may be beautiful, but not necessarily healthy.

[Saville_Row]

Honey, health is also genetic. I know at least two slim/slender girls with cholesterol levels that no "unhealthy" people will have in all their lives. Another ones in the right ranges suffering fainting and general weak constitution that makes them unable to live a normal life.

What I'm trying to tell is: yes, if you can do something to lose weight, go ahead. You'll feel better, but that might not reflect in anything but your confidence. Not all overweight people are unhealthy.

[AuroraRoseat]

What I meant by society's version of beauty is the lack of acceptance for heavier people. I feel that's why a lot of guys hit the gym for--because of what other people think. But we're in agreement then.

[CoffeeWC]

@Saville_Row True that not all overweight people are unhealthy, but many health problems are caused by having too much weight.

[CoffeeWC]

@AuroraRoseat There are plenty of reasons why guys go to the gym. I go to the gym mostly to get stronger. I don't do it for acceptance. It just helps me feel better. It's mostly for health reasons. Losing weight comes with more pros than cons for me.

[AuroraRoseat]

I know there are plenty of reasons, but I feel like the aforementioned reason is why a lot of men do it. A lot of men do it for your reason as well. I just thought that your original comment was geared towards "Guys who are labeled fat don't form groups, they simply go to the gym to lost the weight" which translated--to me--that (plenty of) guys are internalizing the societal slight against them and doing what society prefers.

I see now that's now what you meant.

[Saville_Row]

@CoffeeWC Underweight too, but I'm not seeing anyone saying: "go tell those girls to reunite and grab a slice of pizza!" Apart from fat-shaming, I think everyone's standards are messed up. You can go a few pounds over or under your ideal weight and still have a healthy BMI. It's a problem only if you let yourself go.

Still weight, by the way, does not dictate beauty.

[TheDevilInside]

no, BMI does NOT define a person's health. I have a BMI of 33 but yet healthy as a horse, except for the occasional flu and asthma that is genetic. My blood sugar is normal, my cholesterol is normal. You can still be big but maintain your health, you jackass. BMI = health is the old-fashioned way of thinking that was brought on by the big pharma industries or whoever powerful people that you've allowed to brainwash you.

[TheDevilInside]

so just because there are SOME overweight people that are unhealthy means that ALL overweight people must be unhealthy? Your logic is basically the equivalent of this: researchers give oreos to psychopaths in prison. Result: they loved the oreos. Conclusion: anyone who likes oreos are psychopaths and must be put in jail. Fucking idiotic.

[Eternallylucky]

Coffee.. have you ever been in people's faces about their flabbiness? lol... people will only do somethinguntil their health is put at risk because of it then they will only start making positive changes to their life style.

[CoffeeWC]

@Eternallylucky I have not been in people's faces about that.

[TomasLyy]

its like saying its ok to lick syringes on the ground, or it's okay to rub an open wound in infectious water

[englisc]

@AuroraRoseat

I can't understand what's unhealthy about that. For example, you say that a lot of guys go to the gym because society doesn't like fat people. By going to the gym they become healthier - are you saying that working out and becoming more healthy is unhealthy?

[AuroraRoseat]

@englisc Letting other people dictate your life, influence your thinking, make your decisions which is WHY a guy decided to go to the gym to lose weight and not for HIMSELF? I'd rather not be an automaton.

But CoffeeWC stated that wasn't what he meant. That's what I interpreted from what he said. I was wrong.

[englisc]

@AuroraRoseat

The trouble I have with that argument is that I think people argue against those things just because they think that societal rules and attitudes are automatically bad. If society says that being overweight as a result of being lazy and eating nothing but junk food is bad, and somebody starts to eat right and workout because of that, I struggle to see how that's a bad thing. Your argument is that it's bad because society/other people said so - would that person be more healthy if they stayed lazy, continued to eat shit, and said "fuck society mannnnn"? I just can't understand that logic.

[CoffeeWC]

@englisc Thank you for explaining

[ThisDudeHere]

Am I the only one who gets an uncontrollable desire to role my eyes at yet another "meh fat beauty" post?

[LongShlongSilvr]

No. The fat and proud crap is so unhealthy.

[Servus09]

Yes, you're the only one who doesn't realize women -- and only women -- are beautiful at any size. Probably because you're a sexist pig who can't get laid.

Some people say I can be sarcastic. True story.

[TomasLyy]

@LongShlongSilvr This is so hypocritical because if they were introduced to a nice fat guy, they would turn him down, and think "ewww"

[LongShlongSilvr]

@TomasLyy True, True...

[Anon-ymous1]

... You're not the only one here.

[c0ral_reef]

yeah, i mean guys get called fat too but not the extent women do. like u can have a little bit of chub and get called fat and disgusting. girls are expected to be very tiny in the waist and have a big breast and rear end. yes, women tend to desire muscular men but not as much as men look for women with skinny waist. IT;s about sex appeal, they literally scan for this stuff in their DNA. I saw a huge difference in the way guys approached me and talked to me from when i was anorexic to when i was very overweight. Now I am still slightly overweight (but by guys standards considered fat) and i have super low self-esteem because of it and since i was a kid, i swore i wouldn't date a fat guy because i didn't want them to end up fat like me but im working on trying to change my views (because at the end of day i want to teach my kids healthy body image-fat or not and i will always love them). Plus, im still not comfortable at my own weight which could potentially lead to relapse in my eating disorder.

[TheDevilInside]

I'm sorry you're going through all that. The guys on this take complain that fat guys are being bullied too, etc. You are right. They are too, but fat women are being bullied and made fun of and disrespected on a whole other level. Simply because women tend to be objectified more often than men. Just look out for ads. How many ads portray scantily clad women? How man portray half naked men? I bet the ratio is 19:1 or something like that. And having been bombarded by that, so many girls (myself included), starts hating themselves ever since they're very young (my first memory was hating my entire facial feature every time I look in the mirror. I was 4. and it had nothing to do with weight yet). Add weight into the equation and it's a sure way to mental illness and body dysmorphia.

[ImSoSquishy]

no matter what body type you have, whether it's fat, skinny, or fit, there will always be haters. there was a period of time i completely let myself go because i depression, i felt lost in life, living on earth is a shit hole full of evil people who are fake, just wants to use me, and for a while i became overweight/fat and people, family and friends made fun of me, say i have man boobs and touches/tickles my chest, jokes about my double chin, say i'm starting to look pregnant, and etc.

when i started to put my life back together i got into fitness, i quit smoking, and drinking. people looked down on me, say i will quit within a few months and when i didn't quit, they tried to sabotage my goals, constantly try to put me down, trying to get me to drink beer and if i refuse they try to make me feel bad like oh you were never like this, you changed, blah blah blah, and make me feel bad so i'll give in and drink with them. but i didn't give up, they realized their sabotages doesn't work so they stopped talking to me because now i'm no longer the fat friend. i kept going to gym for a long time now. there are some lovers but there are just as much haters everywhere, sure i do get looks from women walking down the street of manhattan, NY and etc. but at the same time the dudes are always trying to size me up, trying to start fights with me for no reason, accuse me stealing their girlfriend, people who i thought were close friends became super toxic towards me. so, really, no matter how you look like there will always be haters out there who will try to put you down.

[jellyroo]

You shouldn't be bullied for your body, that rarely helps anyone but usually just makes things worse.
If you're big and accept that, fair enough. I do plenty of unhealthy things so I can't say much about the health risks.

That said, accepting your size should also mean accepting the fact that it's generally not as attractive to potential partners, that your doctor will not agree with you on your lifestyle, that some clothes will potentially be more boring and/or expensive than "normal" sized clothes, etc.

Weight is something that can be manipulated, thus complaining about things that affect you as a fat person will not be taken seriously. (Again, I do not include bullying into this because it's unacceptable behavior regardless and you shouldn't have to be subjected to that).

If you smoke cigarettes for 30 years and then start to complain that you've got a smoker's cough, that people dislike how you smell, that your skin and teeth have been affected, that you run out of breath easily etc etc - that's a similar thing in my opinion.

[AlienParasite]

BMI defines a range of weights to help to be healthy. It's a tool. If someone is over or under normal weight, it's an alarm that tells you to be careful to not get your BMI too high or low, because it's dangerous for your health.

Now, I repeat, normal weight is a range. For someone 165cm (5' 5.0") tall to be considered normal or healthy weight must weight between 50,5kg (111.33 Ib) and 68kg (149.91 Ib). A difference of 17,5kg. I think it's a wide enaugh range, and someone 165cm (5' 5.0") tall and 65kg (143.30 Ib) weight is not how skinny models look like.

Also, you should know that perfect BMI in the middle of the normal weight range is not a standard of beauty popular on our society (to be in the middle, BMI must be equal 21,75 while models don't usually pass 19, and some are under healthy weight). Normal weight models are usually told they are fat from common models agencies and that they are too thin to be considered as big or curvy.

However, even if normal weight range is not common in models and don't appear in big girls campaigns, it will usually be the more attractive. Because humans search for the healthier partner instinctively.

[apple24]

As one of the fattest people of America! Lol I would like to say calm down! I never been fat shame by strangers! It’s always my family and myself who make these horrible comments! I am fat but I am not proud of begin fat nor do I hate other that aren’t. It’s just something I have that is gonna take a whole lifetime to change. I think fat Girls like us feel shame for are body. We think that we can’t get boyfriend, or be normal because we are indeed fat. But guess who bought new nice clothes from the fat shop this girl! I am happy for one that it’s okay for me to feel pretty and be overweight. But I am also disappointed because some people take fat acceptance like it’s a political statement. I do agree that it’s unhealthy but at the same time I want live my life now! I think it should be a balance. Yes of course love yourself but you should also worry about your physical n mental stability. So if you do lose weight your not disappointed if it isn’t perfect but you did it cuz it made you happy!

[TheDevilInside]

well I have. By both children and adults. To be bullied by a kid when you're in your late 20s!!! And I'm not even that big... Can't imagine how it must be for people bigger than me... And yes, my mom and my uncle made fun of me too.

[apple24]

My family see behind curve or skinney waist as a good trait to have to ensure I marry well. Lol or that my guess. Lately I been feel the chubby fantasy. Someday I wake-up feel like a diva! The next I feel like 300lbs of bs

[EpicDweeb]

My only concern tends to be health. If I love someone I want them to be healthy and I can't tell them I'm perfectly okay with them being unhealthy and hurting themselves. It's not loving to do that.

I don't think being skinny (in the sense people seem to find attractive) is healthy. I think girls obsessed with being skinny are unhealthy and need to gain some weight. Likewise I think there are many girls that are overweight because they don't live in a healthy manner and I think they ought to strive to live in a more healthy way.

I'm not the type to shame people away from things simply to encourage them towards what I believe they ought to do. I want to love people and by that I mean that I want, or at least I want to want what's best for people whether or not I know exactly what it is. Wanting people to be healthy is loving. Saying "just be confident in yourself" can be a good thing but it can be harmful too. It can be emotional support or it can be a license of self destruction.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this as a disagreement or anything of that sort. I love big girls. They're fantastic and they give the best hugs (hugs are better than sex and it's not open for debate). Just make sure that you're careful when trying to affirm people's figures. Never affirm unhealthy behavior, that's never loving.

[Mr_Smile]

I have no intention to shame someone for being fat. All I say is that you shouldn't love your body if you're unhealthy, whether you be obese or skinny. If you're unhealthy, don't love your body. Exercise, eat better and don't call people biggots or say that society is rejecting you just because you like to 50 cheeseburgers and don't want to work it off. I work hard to be fit and healthy and I've had people, fat people, say mean things because I'm not fat. Thing is, I work hard to be healthy and they just sit around eating shit and barely moving.

People need to stop projecting and, quite frankly, get off their arses and just go for a walk once in a while. Seriously, in the morning, just go for a walk at the very least. At least you're being active. Because you can say "society is rejecting us" all you want, but the fact is being unhealthy in any regard costs money in the form of medical bills and treatments. All these fat people that need to have liposuctions or other medical treatments because they refuse to eat a bit healthier and go for a walk are bad for society. You're probably going to ignore everything I just said and just say I'm fat shaming, and if you do that's dissapointing but I won't be surprised. Lazy people don't like being told their lazy and they don't like having to be active and actually take responsibility for their health. I was there once, I was a fat lazy slob once who just did nothing all day, but then I woke up, looked at myself and thought what the fuck am I doing. So I started exercising and became healthy. I look and feel much better and am at far less risk of a heart attack or various cancers.

[Anonymous]

You know this site is pretty anti-fat-chick, but yes!

The way people treat fat people sometimes, specifically women, is horrible and it has little to do with having preferences. Im fat and I'm definitely not into all men. It's kind of hilarious when some of these guys, who would never be on my radar for dating, think I like them because I know how to be friendly and nice and funny without being interested in them. They assume you're into them and have to be rude. Like you haven't learned how to just be a good person? Its that hard? Ugh.

Body positivity has been critical to my life, confidence, and honestly probably also to my career success and vibrant life. I used to want to hide because I was fat and didn't even want to try to dress well, wear makeup, dare to draw attention to myself at all. Now, I know I'm beautiful and so do most people around me, even if they don't like big girls. Let them stare, it's a blessing to their eyes as far as I'm concerned. Live for yourself and enjoy life. Successful, vibrant life and spreading positivity to other women is the best "revenge."

[Anon-ymous1]

So I think there are some merits to what you've written, mostly from the standpoint of that it's perfectly fine and healthy for anyone to have a voice and not feel intentionally belittled and marginalized... but you also have to ask *how* and *why* fat females are marginalized. Who is doing the marginalizing?

"Society" is merely a massive conglomeration of individuals. It does not exist as its own entity. So if a society thinks or feels or says a thing, it is actually that way because millions of *individual people* think it. Are you suggesting they're marginalized because they don't get as many dates, or appear in as many fashion magazines, or something? The reason that is that way is because *guys overall aren't attracted to it and girls don't want to be it.* That's how a thing gets marginalized by society most of the time. Why wouldn't you want to go on a date with a Nazi skinhead? Because the behaviors those people exhibit *are things you do not want.* That isn't "marginalization." It's "I want this normal stuff over here and don't want this abnormal stuff over here." And being fat isn't normal or healthy or attractive, for guys or girls. This isn't complicated.

[Mornin23]

You're not wrong when you say that being overweight, you are still human, but let's be honest here: Nobody wants to be fat. Of course being 'skinny' (in shape, not anorexic) is going to make you feel better about yourself, more confident, and put you in a more healthy state, physically. That said, it is a very conscious decision to allow yourself to be overweight. There are plenty of people, mothers, women who work well over 8 hours, who use that as an excuse to let their bodies go. Guess what? There are just as many who do those things and keep themselves healthy. It really just isn't that hard to be in shape, and let's be honest, guys get called fat, too. If you want to tell yourself that you're happy being obese, then go ahead, do that. But we all know that in all reality, you just aren't willing to put in the little bit of effort, every day, that it takes to get to where you really want to be, physically.

Beyond that, why would you promote it as being okay to be out of shape, unhealthy, unattractive, and being in a state that lowers one's confidence by default? Come on, seriously.

[TheDevilInside]

"It really just isn't that hard to be in shape" yeah... if your thyroid and everything else is normal, sure. if not, you're fucked.
I'm not promoting obesity. I'm promoting self-love. That big girls have feelings too, and shouldn't be bullied because of that. That we are more than our fucking BMIs. We are humans, goddammit. And we deserve to respected as human beings. No matter what size. Doesn't mean we're worth less than skinny people. You may not like us, that's not what I'm saying. But give us the same amount of basic human respect as you would give a skinny person. That's all.

[Mornin23]

I'm not bullying, and I'm not saying your'worth less' than 'skinny people.' Thyroid problems suck, sure, but that doesn't mean you can't at least make an effort, and it doesn't mean that you can't be in shape. You can make excuses if you want, that's on you.

[Mornin23]

Beyond that, don't try and turn being obese into some sort of gift from god, as if it puts you all into a special club. There are plenty of obese people in the world, and none of them are physically healthy. You're right, you are more than a BMI, you're human. But don't pretend that obesity isn't the issue that it is, and not just for women.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

I don't believe in mocking or fat-shaming overweight people , but being over weight shouldn't be encouraged. People should be encouraged to live a healthy life style , and eat a well balanced healthy diet. There's far too many health related problems /illnesses due to being over weight.

My cousin's husband had diabetes because he was overweight. He was told by his Doctor to lose weight or he would develop many other health problems related to his diabetes. That gave him the incentive to change his lifestyle. He changed his entire eating habits and started working out. He has lost loads of weight and he no longer has diabetes. He is much healthy and has more energy. He is more physically fit too. So being overweight should be discouraged

[Fitness-Fanatic]

healthier *

[TheDevilInside]

I'm not encouraging obesity. I'm encouraging respect for fellow human beings and not judging people based on their BMI. Not every big person has health issues. I've been big my entire life and has never had any because of it. I also watch my sugar intake and sometimes exercise. Plenty of skinny people care less about their sugar intake and as a result? well you know the result. Nothing to do with being big there...

[Fitness-Fanatic]

Most obese people do eventually suffer from health problems related to be over weight. It's inevitable. They're less agile and less physically fit. Diabetes and heart disease is on the rise due to people being overweight. Besides, I'd rather be slim and health than overweight and healthy. If you're happy being overweight that's fine. But most overweight people that I know are bitchy about those who aren't overweight. So they obviously aren't happy being fat, or they wouldn't feel the need to be a bitch about slimmer people. I'm happy being physically fit and in shape and toned, but I don't expect others to have my mindset.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

I agree that people shouldn't disrespect or mock anyone for their shape or size, regardless if they're skinny, slim or fat

[Fitness-Fanatic]

Being**

[Bandit74]

I dont think bullying is ok, but of all the things that can adversely affect your perceived level of attractiveness, weight is one of the few things you have some level of control over.

Also, its not like its different for men. A fat or scrawny guy is not perceived as having the same attractiveness or value as a muscular guy with a six-pack.

And it seems pretty hypocritical when a lot of fat/chubby women seem to want/expect a guy who is conventionally attractive and for him to just overlook their appearance.

[Bluemax]

I get the "expect" part, but why is it hypocritical for *any* person, male or female, to "want" an attractive person.

I seem to encounter this on gag a lot. I honestly think this position about unattractive people *wanting* attractive people as being hypocritical is poorly thought out (and that's unusual for you, Bandit).

[Bandit74]

@Bluemax
Maybe I worded this poorly.
I do believe that there is a general consensus about who is/isnt attractive and that its natural for us all to want/desire an attractive partner.
I also believe that just because someone is ugly doesn't mean they are obligated to date other ugly people or that their brains are somehow wired to find other ugly people attractive.

My issue mainly relates to how women preach about body positivity, how it is shallow for women to be judged as unnattractive for their weight, and that women of all sizes "should" be seen as sexy even though those same women don't consider fat men sexy.

I am fine if a fat woman wants an attractive man. I am even fine if a fat woman successfully attracts an attractive man, but I am sick of how they act like only women are judged on their appearance, that women have it worse, or how men should change their perceptions of attractiveness to include women of all sizes even though they have no...

[Bandit74]

@Bluemax
intention of expanding the conventional definition of what is sexy for men to include fat or scrawny men. And just the notion that anyone should or is even capable of changing what they find attractive is ridiculous to me, but it just seems hypocritical that the body positivity movement seems to only be concerned with changing the public perception of attractiveness for women, but not for men.

In my opinion, if its publicly acceptable to consider fat or scrawny/nerdy looking men unnattractive or less beautiful compared to men with athletic bodies then it should NOT be considered politically incorrect to view fat women as unnattractive or less beautiful compared to women with a slim hourglass figure.

[Bluemax]

Well said, and thanks for the clarification.

[SirRexington]

Society does not worship skinny bishes. We like average sized girls with 50% of us liking thicker women and the other 50% liking thinner women.

I prefer thick women. The women on the left in the first picture though, they weren't thick. Those girls were fat. And they can be if they want. But don't expect people to be attracted to them if they aren't attracted to them. Girls don't seem to find me attractive but guess what, I live with it.

We "shame" things that are disgusting or that are unhealthy. So do you. It's in our nature.

[Anonymous]

You have every right to be happy with yourself.
You have no right to expect, or demand, that anyone else finds you remotely attractive.
By all means, be who and what you are and be happy about it. But do us all a favor, and stop bitching that men don't want you. We have the right to be who and what we are, also, and just like you all have standards, so do we.
And that dream hunk you have your eyes on?
You don't meet his.
Just like some men who actually do try to hit on you don't meet yours.

Accept that with a smile, or do what men are expected to do:
man up, and accept that if you want the people you desire to desire you in return, it is on you to change yourself to appeal to them, not on them to give up standards.

[ChronicThinker]

Numbers kind of DO mean something, though, unless you absolutely disregard science and basic health concepts. So, this idea that "numbers don't matter" is just quackery.

It doesn't mean you're less than anybody else, but you are going to be predisposed to joint problems, heart disease, diabetes, loss of pregnancy, etc, etc based on your weight. Of course, none of these are going to magically happen if you're a few lbs overweight, but long term obesity puts you at greater risk for all of these problems and more.

Now, that doesn't mean you deserve to be treated as a piece of shit. Regardless of size, we are all people who deserve not to be abused.

[passinby]

All my big girlfriend s were less sensual, they risk diabetes, heart, etc, and they have a tremendous hormonal imbalance that seem to make them mood swing much more than the typical woman. I wouldn't mind cuddling a chubby girl, but it simply is unhealthy and they can be unstable.

[AuroraRoseat]

Love the Take and I fervently agree. I think what a lot of people are misunderstanding is the fact that people who demean others for being "bigger" are doing it in a cruel fashion.

If a heavier person has an unhealthy weight, there is nothing wrong with showing concern and attempting to get them to lose some for their benefit.

Calling wo/men demeaning names just because they have extra fat stored on their body is cruel and definitely fat-shaming.