My Experiences With Bullies and What I Learned!

[Halucinator]

Hello and welcome everyone! It’s your boy Hal and many people on here have this question regarding how to handle haters or someone who mocks them or mistreats them. Fortunately, I wasn’t highly bullied as in the case of several other people. I’m gonna talk about some of my experiences here. So, let’s start-

Until I was 6, we used to live in an apartment. So, I’d often play with the other kids around. One of them was a real sonova- you know. He was a fatass and used to bite me every time and so hard that my arms used to have an imprint of his teeth for long. For the first time he did this, I went to my grandmother(she was alive then) and narrated the whole incident to her. She simply advised me to stay away from him but it was simply impossible for me to ignore him. We had the same friend circle. Next time he bit me, I bit him back, slapped him and ran towards my home but he got me and bit me again on the back. Wow! I got f**ked up again!! But guess what? He never ever hit me again after that day.

I learnt two things that day-

1) Ignorance or silence is never a solution. You have to fight even if you’re super weak like me.

2) Physical fight isn’t my thing. I can’t break someone’s jaw with a punch.

So fast forwarding to when I shifted to my house(where I currently live😂) and changed my school, I made some new friends. All of my friends were as meek as me and avoided any type of fights. We used to be abit scared of bullies but never displayed it. I used to cycle my way from school to home and vice versa. Two other guys from my class(brassholes) used to follow the same way back so they used to humiliate me by crossing their cycles around me and then blaming me for cycling wrong. That year was the longest year for me. I hated going back by that route with those two troubling me again and again. I really regret that I never took a stand there.

Next year, I was sure that I wouldn’t let myself down no matter what. I was already quite humorous till then and I knew that I can’t land punches. I started working on my strong parts. I’d escape tricky situations using my brain, mock and insult others easily(it’s mixed in my blood😂). Many times, I was almost about to be beaten but somehow I always got in the safe zone😂 Eventually, I learned that you can’t survive in this world if you’re a goddamn crybaby. You gotta fight for yourself. You need to be selfish and shrewd. At present, every guy in my class would say that I’m shrewd. I don’t harm someone but I don’t even let someone harm me.

So, two points again-

1) Being weak is fine. Being meek isn’t.

2) Stay selfish.

I never support the terminology which says “Ignore them. When lion walks, dogs bark etc etc”. It’s all totally rubbish. We all want to win. As soon as we lose and argument, we come back home, think about it and come off with an answer and be like “Hell, if I had said this thing, he’d have been speechless”. But “only if you had said it”. I did the same thing over the years and years and then came a time when someone used to say one thing to insult me, I had 20 replies for the same sentence. I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I had ignored them.

That was all for now🤗

thanks for tolerating this take lol

see you soon❤️

[meowcow]

That just about sums it up.

People who think bullying can be stopped are idiots.

It is human nature, and the nature of all animals, to try and dominate over their peers. Bullying is natural for some, and so is passiveness. Some people are born naturally aggressive, and that type of behavior is inherent to the individual and cannot be changed very easily.

You're right. They bully you because they do not fear you. But that doesn't mean they are fearless.

I had a similar experience in elementary school. I was a small kid, and even younger kids were bigger than me. This one fat kid kept harassing me for the whole year. In the following year, he and some of his friends were following me home and I decided at that moment to fight back. I wound my foot up and tried to kick him in the stomach. But he ducked... and my foot ended up kicking his face... right in the mouth. I knocked out one of his front teeth and he cried and ran home.

I thought I'd be in big shit the next day when I arrived at school... but... nothing happened. No teacher called on me. It turns out the bully ran home crying, and telling his parents he had fallen down the stairs. His ego was ruined. He and his friends never told anyone that I had kicked in his tooth, and he never bothered me again.

[Anonymous]

What if the person that bullied you all the time was your mother? My mother made all the bullying in school for me seem like child’s play and easier to deal with and a lot of times I never wanted to go home because I was treated better at school overall.

[Halucinator]

I'm sorry for you

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you. She is much better now in the sense that she was able to tone down a lot of her anger issues but it is still really easy to make her mad. It used to be mainly emotional and physical abusive in extreme cases. Now she still has a little bit of the emotional tactic in her.

[Lilyanony]

Growing up I wasn't allowed to express myself. My anger, upset and dislikes were made irrelevant. So I learned how to be a goody too shoes, who was always polite and mindful of others and their feelings above mine.
When people were mean I was told to use words, so I resorted to taking the "mature" approach where I could see the reason behind the behaviour.
People weren't violent but they left me out. I did get bullied but simply because people wanted to ruffle my perfect feathers.
I was a cry baby at times, but the older I've gotten, I have just learnt how to be too controlled, to give another the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
People do still test me but now I'm 27 nearly 28 I walk alone as its easier than playing the games others play, I'm lonely. All because I'm afraid of expressing exactly how I want to feel, especially because I'm afraid of appearing like the angry black woman.
I've put up with a lot of shit over the years and I've internalised it and feared it was all because there's something wrong with me. I'm a product of my upbringing and consequently it's a hindrance. I'm slowly breaking out of this shell, but whilst my mother is alive any discussions we have about how I dealt with a situation she will continue to tell me I handled it wrong.

[Lilyanony]

I wanted to add when I stand up for myself and I worry about the consequences now I'm made to feel stupid and when I try and be diplomatic about things I'm told I'm wrong. Very conflicting information TBH.

[Lilyanony]

Thank you for picking me :-)

[firefiregirl18]

I was bullied from the age of 8 sometimes now but it’s not that bad at all I have cerebral palsy I was being called names my hair was pulled I got kicked in my back and legs its all started back in 2010 when I was in second grade I heard years later I was being called a boy of how I looked and dressed

[Halucinator]

I’m so sorry for that😶

[ak667]

I might respectfully disagree with some of the wording like "stay selfish", though the words we choose are kind of based on where we are at internally. That might be the right way to think in your case.

I prefer, "stay logical". A man's fight with bullies and such is usually not external. The bully is some obstacle but his real battle is internal, in his own mind. I like this philosophy:

That's the real way a man loses is not when he loses to the bully, but when he loses to fear. Meekness is usually a symptom of fear.

But some people might interpret this quote in a way where they think a man should come out swinging the moment anyone pushes his buttons, when I wouldn't say that's necessarily the case either because that could be inspired by fear of looking bad or something like this.

It's all case-by-case. By I would say the real battle is internally. It might make logical sense sometimes to be belligerent. It might make logical sense sometimes to raise your voice and utilize your wits. It might even make sense sometimes to physically fight.

But the goal as I see it is to win that internal war and not let emotions like fear or blind rage get the better of your sharper senses. And finally:

[ak667]

* It's all case-by-case. [But] I would say the real battle is internally [in your own mind].

[ak667]

Lastly I'd say to never underestimate the option of being the bigger person. Especially if your bully is smaller and weaker than you. Sometimes (not always) the greatest display of strength is refraining to fight, and it can be the one that nets you the most respect among your allies, and a man's ultimate strength isn't necessarily measured by his muscles as by his allies (even the strongest man on earth has to sleep, eat; he won't make it for long if he creates enemies left and right).

You can think of the martial arts master who can easily dispatch any enemy. If someone is belligerent to him, instead of fighting back, the master might casually ignore him while reading the newspaper. If that someone attacks, the master casually dodges, sticks his foot out, and trips the opponent while going back to reading his paper. If the opponent repeats, he's going to be utterly humiliated.

And at that point the greatest strength the master might display is mercy: to help him back to his feet...

[ak667]

... and that's tying into the quote above that about helping the enemies who get on their knees back to their feet. The goal should be to net allies and minimize enemies.

[vintagegirl90]

I agree I was bullied by females and some males growing up. It’s important to look out for yourself and defend yourself verbally, express how you feel in a way you feel reasonable, being physical is not necessary. People were mean yes, but it’s important to grow inner strength and resilience in these moments and not succumb to any torment emotionally, eventually maturity will catch up with them and they’ll realise what they did was wrong, but don’t hold a grudge against them it’s not worth your time. I learnt this long into adulthood and had some of these bullies apologise to me because they learnt their lesson.

[LuvAsh]

I agree. I was bullied too but by mostly boys. All the time😑 and even if I were to do or say something, it was like, they liked my reaction and kept om bothering me😒 I went to a really bad school and those people didn't care at all. The teachers didn't care either... They just thought about it like "those are just a bunch of crazy black kids" my teacher even seen me getting hit by a bunch of boys and he didn't do or say anything about it.
My mom had to go to the school and set things straight but even after that, boys wouldn't stop bothering me... And there. would be some girls too but u know, girls just talk behind ur back with their friends and aren't up front most of the times

[Lilyanony]

Awful... sorry that happened to you

[walt0462]

My advice may not be PC in todays social correctness and zero tolerance but When I was bullyied as a child and attending public school in NYC the first few times I just took their bullying until I finally had enough and one day I simply retaliated by standing up the biggest and meanest of the bullies that was being a bully to me taking him off guard since he was expecting me to simply just take whatever he was about to do to me again like he had done umteen times before but this time I dropped kick him in the family Jewels and as he was about to Keel over in pain I kneed him in his face knocking out a few teethfrim his mouth... After this one event and I was never bullied again and neither were and of the kids that used to be bullied along side me that I was around them

[chc0009]

Bullying has evolved, though. Nowadays, bullies aren't thugs, like in the picture. They're usually the "good kids." As in they're straight-A students, star athletes, Greek lifers, etc.

And they also pretend to be your friend, only to sandbag you when they've earned your trust. And teachers are just as responsible, since they don't give a damn about you, just getting paid via tax dollars.

I was a prime target, because I have Asperger's Syndrome and therefore, horrible communication and was bad at reading people.

That's why I rebel and don't want to be good anymore. I want to be BAD! Bad as in still be a decent person, but go against social norms.

[Ecco939]

Thanks for sharing. I got bullied a lot in grade school and middle. Then I fails the 7th grade on purpose to get away from that class and it dawned on me that I was so much bigger than the rest of these kids. I got passed up to the 8th due to streight A's that year (there by only doing half my eighth grade year) it all turned around when I went back after Christmas to the 8th grade, and the first day sent three of the bully's to the nurse. Then I tried out for the highschool football and wrestling teams and they stopped messing with the fat kid after that

[smg99]

My approach will be to first buy into time, plan a day to frame them by law enforcement and wreck their lives through n through. That is one by one. Lure one by one by different means and use different strategies to send them to a correctional institute and go there on occasion of trying to get closure, but instead make them react further. They get put on medication and there that’s permanent damage.

[BaileyisDarcy]

That is waay too much time spent on revenge. Nah, just do better in life than they are, there's your win.

[SkipStop]

Glad someone took the same route as I did. I took martial arts and beat up two of my bullies in 5th grade on our last day at that school. I still remember how awesome it felt to break the nose on one of them. When you wanna reach success, you gotta go after it, not run away from it. If you see trouble in front, fight your way through it instead of running back and away. That's how you move forward in life. 💪

[JMghow]

Good mytake. Telling kids to befriend them, or be nice, just rewards bad behavior. It's bad for the victim, and worse for the bully who never learns his lesson until it's too late. Personally, I say thrash them until you can't move, then ask for a rematch. You don't have to win, just make getting you to lose far too costly an endeavor.

[Salmon4056]

Interesting mytake. I was bullied by girls spreading rumors and lies about me. I didn't know the people but I realized they just hated me, and kept asking me questions. They had spread a lie saying I was gay once, though I'm not, and I was stared at everytime in hall , some girls ran out of bathroom laughing when they knew I was in restroom, and one girl tried to, out of the blue, fight me after she kept asking me some questions.

[Q-tip-boy]

I used my build to scare the ones who try to challenge with me, but also ensure that my parents wouldn't know about it.

Usually, the "bhai " , "please", etc approach works.

Other times, we have to use our power, or whatever we can do.

We use our harmones for fight and sometimes for flight too.

[Mitinal]

Information is the key. I got in touch with a few friends, made some searching and dug up some interesting things on the guys who tried to bully me and i just blackmailed them. I dig up info on most people, just to get picture about who they are, so its not hard or anything...

[LeoElias]

What I did to turn it around was to make their life a living hell by making fun of them in front of everyone and making everyone laugh at them. When they would threaten to fight me I would be all for it, super excited and I couldn't wait. Taking out my weapons out in front of him like I had brass knuckles at the time and a pocket knife. I never planned on using them I was buffing. And it worked I scared them away. I made myself seem crazy. A wild card they didn't want to mess with.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Yeah i found taking up someones offer for a fight always has them backing down XD

[LeoElias]

@BaileyisDarcy exactly

[Guanfei]

That's simple: you stop bullying by fighting back. Bullies don't understand words, they don't care about what's wrong and what's right, they know that what they do is wrong but that doesn't stop them, so morale doesn't work on them.
To stop them, you have to fight back, do as much damage as you can, and even if you lose, you'll show that you won't let anyone fuck with you again.

[Jaysonava]

That;s what I did.

[Kelliblondebabe]

I was the class and school ragdoll, I was bullied in school and EVERY girl in my class has beaten me or pulled me by my hair. I still get girls starting on me and it doesn't get any easier. I'm not the fighting type so martial arts aren't for me

[zagor]

Where do you live where girls pull your hair and hit you at 26? On the Jerry Springer Show?

[Kelliblondebabe]

@zagor I'm talking about when I was at school flipsake

[zagor]

But you said you still get girls starting on you...

[FreshOutaIdeas]

Bullies need to get their heads stomped. Most are run of the mill cliches; insecure about themselves and miserable in their own skin... But damn young or adult, they'll make your life a misery if you let them, in whatever way they can find.

[Blonde401]

I got bullied a lot as a kid. Got my face smashed into a brick wall... Its turned me into a fighter which causes more trouble than it’s worth.

[FreshOutaIdeas]

Nice... Sounds like an act of jealousy!

Had a huge amount of that too. Ironic really, not many guys have the balls to face me head on, being like 260/270lbs, but damn... Whether it be my looks, size, my ways with the ladies, there's always one person that wants to undermine you.

[Blonde401]

@FreshOutaIdeas oh it definitely was and haha that’s true. There’s always one little person out there.

[FreshOutaIdeas]

Always that one! It's alright, I'll keep them in check, I'm good at dealing with rats 👌 haha.

[AndrewMG]

@Blonde401 I feel guilty for having a ridiculously easy childhood despite being not necessarily the hardest kid... hence my adult fighting skills are probably limited lol

[Blonde401]

@AndrewMG never feel guilt for that!

[ROCKS128]

Its just your young energy & hormone rushing!😝

Its actually more than that.
It takes courage to sit & listen.
It takes self control to let others not control you.
It takes time to learn things in life.

[Anonymous]

Nice to see a take about bullying that doesn't claim that bullying can be solved with conversations and bullshit. Sadly, violence IS the only answer when it comes to bullying. I wasn't aware of that as a kid, and thanks to that I am suffering even nowadays because of the trauma...

[KezHarris]

I have been bullied a lot in the past, so i completely understand this. Now i lift weights and do boxing!