There's a right way and a wrong way to deal with single mothers. First one should reflect on their own life decisions before trashing someone else for a mistake or a miscalculation. Sure there are single mothers out there who entrap men for money or so they aren't alone. But that's not the only type of women who are single mothers. There are plenty of good and bad parents and people in general and we can't afford to generalize with the assumption that all single mothers are sluts or terrible human beings. People often forget they had a choice to terminate the child and chose instead to rise up to the challenge and give their baby a fighting chance at a life. Most of these single mothers work around the clock and come home and after being exhausted they still spend their whole nights with their kids making them food, entertaining them, doing homework with them. It's not an easy job and often it can be very financially difficult.
Even if child support is paid often times it's not even that much. I've seen first hand how a lot of these single mothers have to live and it's not great. We men often times can make the same mistakes of sleeping with the wrong people. It's true that we may have to pay for that, but not at every waking moment out in the public eye. Single mothers have to live their lives with the stigma that they are in fact single mothers. So they stigmatized as being sluts or idiots and nothing beyond that. We men don't have to carry a child in our womb for 9 months or have them with us almost ever waking moment for the whole world to judge us for one wrong decision. So while the dad is out of the picture he's free to pursue other women, drugs, money, w/e, while she is pursuing the best life for her child all while having a negative outlook from others. Let it be known I am NOT saying that we men don't have our hardships, we do. We have hardships women don't understand. But that said we need to also be aware that we are different and that women too have their own challenges. When you see a struggling single mother no one's expecting you to go out of your way and wife them up or something. But it's nice to be that person that can do an act of kindness for someone else struggling and believe me one kind of person that does is a single mother, especially a young one. So instead of throwing judgement at her when society has been lying to her since she was a child you can do something nice for her. Why? Because you can simply choose to be a better human being and bring a bit of joy to someone else's life. This is how I choose to help a single mother I've barely said 10 words to in my life:
A small act of kindness goes a long way. You might have made a miserable person change their outlook not only on life but of men. Be the change you want in the world. Too many people are always miserable and instead of changing that they try to make everyone else as miserable as them! Acts of charity, something as simple as saying "Way to go mom" can make her day. You're not encouraging single motherhood by doing that. Single mothers have always been around. The problems are not the fault of one group or gender but it's the fault of ALL of us. And if we want to change that then we need to do it ourselves, not leave it to organizations to do it. Don't forget there's a child in that picture too. The same one we pro-lifers fight for every damn day. So if you're a pro lifer I EXPECT YOU to be involved in helping these single mothers out with acts of kindness because they're doing exactly what you demand all pregnant women do. And if you claim to be a Christian? Well don't even get me started! Be good to others, that's the message of the day. And stop bashing single mothers for stepping up and being a parent when they get stigmatized and didn't have to be in the first place.
PS: I want to thank the single moms out there who I have talked to, who have shared their struggles, and took the time to show me the full scoop on what it's like being a single parent. Stay strong and carry on!
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