How to deal with a single mother as a man

t-8900

There's a right way and a wrong way to deal with single mothers. First one should reflect on their own life decisions before trashing someone else for a mistake or a miscalculation. Sure there are single mothers out there who entrap men for money or so they aren't alone. But that's not the only type of women who are single mothers. There are plenty of good and bad parents and people in general and we can't afford to generalize with the assumption that all single mothers are sluts or terrible human beings. People often forget they had a choice to terminate the child and chose instead to rise up to the challenge and give their baby a fighting chance at a life. Most of these single mothers work around the clock and come home and after being exhausted they still spend their whole nights with their kids making them food, entertaining them, doing homework with them. It's not an easy job and often it can be very financially difficult.

Even if child support is paid often times it's not even that much. I've seen first hand how a lot of these single mothers have to live and it's not great. We men often times can make the same mistakes of sleeping with the wrong people. It's true that we may have to pay for that, but not at every waking moment out in the public eye. Single mothers have to live their lives with the stigma that they are in fact single mothers. So they stigmatized as being sluts or idiots and nothing beyond that. We men don't have to carry a child in our womb for 9 months or have them with us almost ever waking moment for the whole world to judge us for one wrong decision. So while the dad is out of the picture he's free to pursue other women, drugs, money, w/e, while she is pursuing the best life for her child all while having a negative outlook from others. Let it be known I am NOT saying that we men don't have our hardships, we do. We have hardships women don't understand. But that said we need to also be aware that we are different and that women too have their own challenges. When you see a struggling single mother no one's expecting you to go out of your way and wife them up or something. But it's nice to be that person that can do an act of kindness for someone else struggling and believe me one kind of person that does is a single mother, especially a young one. So instead of throwing judgement at her when society has been lying to her since she was a child you can do something nice for her. Why? Because you can simply choose to be a better human being and bring a bit of joy to someone else's life. This is how I choose to help a single mother I've barely said 10 words to in my life:

How to deal with a single mother as a man

A small act of kindness goes a long way. You might have made a miserable person change their outlook not only on life but of men. Be the change you want in the world. Too many people are always miserable and instead of changing that they try to make everyone else as miserable as them! Acts of charity, something as simple as saying "Way to go mom" can make her day. You're not encouraging single motherhood by doing that. Single mothers have always been around. The problems are not the fault of one group or gender but it's the fault of ALL of us. And if we want to change that then we need to do it ourselves, not leave it to organizations to do it. Don't forget there's a child in that picture too. The same one we pro-lifers fight for every damn day. So if you're a pro lifer I EXPECT YOU to be involved in helping these single mothers out with acts of kindness because they're doing exactly what you demand all pregnant women do. And if you claim to be a Christian? Well don't even get me started! Be good to others, that's the message of the day. And stop bashing single mothers for stepping up and being a parent when they get stigmatized and didn't have to be in the first place.

PS: I want to thank the single moms out there who I have talked to, who have shared their struggles, and took the time to show me the full scoop on what it's like being a single parent. Stay strong and carry on!

How to deal with a single mother as a man
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Brainsbeforebeauty
    Such a beautiful post! Very true.. It's sad the slut shaming or bad reputation that gets put on single mothers, but not on the men that made them single mothers.. I think it's so great that you try to help. Shows what a truly great person you are.. Also kudos for mentioning what always disturbs me the most, the fact that people fight about who's responsibility, who's fault, who's choice, but they don't often enough think about the "child" the affects it will have on that child and their life!
    There should be more posts like this on GAG!! Not to mention more men that think the way you do!! Love love this take❀️❀️
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • t-8900

      Thank you for the kind words!

    • Thank you for being a kind person to people that really need kindness in their life!!,

    • I leave no one behind miss brains muffins, i take care and be there for everyone who i love but life doesn't works the way we wish, you might be an awesome person, still you will get dumped even though you haven't dumped anyone... c'est la vie! 😌

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • FinalFantasyBro
    Just try behaving respectfully and just escape the baggage most single mothers fish out. But remember do it in a non awful way.
    Like 3 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

513
  • 420Rachel
    Let's not forget that there are single dads out there too! It's not always the man that walks out, sometimes it's the mother and that man faces the same hardships single mothers do. Let's just be kind to one another and everything will be cool. 💕
    Like 6 People
    • t-8900

      Very true. My dad raised me alone

    • Count me in

    • nawtee_me

      @420Rachel As one of those single fathers I totally agree with you. My kids are grown now but I tip my hat to every single parent out there.

  • Kaamraj
    Do single mothers have their share of hardships - most definitely. Is it the responsibility of men who aren't the biological father of the child, absolutely not. Remember that as soon as the sperm leaves the man's body, he loses completely control over it and the results. If he isn't wearing a condom, which you should do all the time, no questions, and she is impregnated, then the complete decision of whether that child will be carried to term and birthed or not is the mothers with absolutely no role of the father. So every child exists today because the mother decided that it should. Not getting into the morality of aboriton, but just pointing it that in most states, it exists.

    it makes no genetic sense for a man to spend his resources behind a child that is genetically not his, meaning his hardwork and toil is going towards forwarding the genetic legacy of someone else. This is not including the dynamics of a relationship where the man is by default 2nd priority after child. Now if that were the man's child, it would have been understood and even welcomed.

    So in short, how to deal with single mothers as a man. Non-romantically just as you would any other woman, with respect and equality. Romantically, try not to get involved.
    Like 2 People
    • t-8900

      Granted I believe every man can choose who they see romantically a d shouldn't be judged for it. In my eyes abortion is never an option. Being kind to a single mother is already doing it right. No one has to date her if they don't want to. Nor do they have to spend baby money. Not judging her in a negative light is good enough.

  • doopayo
    I agree. My mom is my favorite person in the world, she takes care of me and I feel safe with her. Two things my father would never be able to do.


    I’d probably kick anyone’s ass if they tried to mess with her in any way
    Like 5 People
    • t-8900

      yeah i'm on the opposite side. I didn't really know my mom well. She wasn't really fond of a son. Took my sister and ran basically

  • loves2learn
    Treat them like the people they are. Like you said, help them out if you can. If you have chemistry and attraction, date them. Single moms want all the things single women want, just plus what is best for their child.
    Like 3 People
  • karaspara
    Just be respectful i'm a single mother a good mother I don't a penny from my waste of space ex and I ain't looking for a sugar daddy or a mealticket for every single mother there is a single father
    Like 6 People
    • Too bad that sometimes life ain't fair, when the good comes to bad and the bad comes to good...

    • karaspara

      @TonyMetal___86 yep such is life

  • Dchrls78104
    I was raised by a single mother.
    This is how I view single mothers:
    Judge them? No.
    Diss them? No.
    Date them? No.
    Like 2 People
    • t-8900

      i mean it really depends on the last one tbh. But I can understand why you came to that conclusion. My Uncle married one, they have a powerful marriage. Ofc this wasn't his first wife but still. He wasn't interested in having kids really. They were almost old enough to get out of the house anyways.

  • DWornock
    The proper action is to be polite as you would to anyone but let them live their life and you live yours.
    Like 1 Person
  • bamesjond0069
    Be nice to them sure. Problem is they are undateable. They also typically raise their sons to be feminine and daughters to be sluts.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • IcedLemonade
    Dont forget to visit prisoners too, they deserve love.
    Like 1 Person
  • disgustingweebtrash
    How to deal with a single mother as a man: you don't
  • sunshineglow
    Good my take, yes.
    Like 1 Person
  • Anonymous
    I didn't read the entire post all what I know is single mother must date single dad
  • Anonymous
    I deal with random single moms like I deal with everyone else in life, I don't see why they would be afforded special treatment from me or anyone else just for being a single mom

    Relationship wise at this point in my life I wouldn't have a relationship with one beyond casual sex. I would always be the odd man out between herself and the child, I would not have the same privileges with the child, single mom's are way to busy and cannot be spontaneous, and I don't want to raise someone else's seed I want to raise my own
    Like 2 People
  • Anonymous
    A lot of words but you got there in the end. Abortion is wrong.
    Like 1 Person
    • t-8900

      it is and it's very sad and heartbreaking. </3 :(

  • Anonymous
    Ugh no, single moms are just for sex. I mean blah blah blah "she's doing all of this alone, raising a child alone, everyone looks at her negatively" blah blah blah is on her. As we all know final say is with the woman, so she made the ultimate decision to be a single mom

    Yeah sometimes the woman just gets the short end of the stick and her man passes away or the guy was initially all for being a dad but then runs away, but most of the time the guy is obvious with her from jump that he doesn't want a baby and the women just ignores him and does what she wants to do. And now we suppose to feel bad for her

    Say "way to go mom" to make her day? Why? For making a bad decision after bad decision? Nobody tells me "way to go" if I do fuck up after fuck up, i just get told off
    LikeDisagree 4 People
    • Anonymous

      Like I have a cousin that at 23 has 6 kids by 4 different men with none of them in the picture who works as a cashier in a dollar store and rents a 2 bedroom apartment. So instead of trying to talk some sense into her and tell her she's fucking up both her and her children's lives, we should instead praise her for rising up to the challenge and just see how many more babies she should pop out that she can't care for?

    • t-8900

      There's a difference between having children and having children by multiple different men. That's not the scenario I was talking about. But you can still be nice for the sake of the kids who never asked for this life

    • Anonymous

      Point is yes it takes two to tango and whatnot, and the man made the decision to sleep with the woman, but the women also made the exact same choice, and more than that they woman has the final say in having their child. And again most of the time the man makes his point known that he does not want a baby but his opinion on the matter is worth dirt, and the final decision to have the baby and most likely become a single mother is on the woman

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  • Anonymous
    You can respect them and can help them as a person. But don't get involved romantically or let her freeload you.
    Like 1 Person
    • t-8900

      Right in not saying anything like that. Although what two adults consent to is none of my business.

  • Anonymous
    Pretend to show some sympathy and Just Ignore her existence!
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • Anonymous
    I very much doubt this MyTake was written by a man, but ok.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • t-8900

      that's very sad that you would think that tbh

    • t-8900

      granted though if you aren't a Christian I guess i can understand more

    • Anonymous

      Your perspective is a very gynocentric one that ignores the realities men face in this issue, which tells me you have no experience as a man. Thus my comment.

    • Show All
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